Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

Would you be disappointed with this party arrangement?

49 replies

Strugglingforanamechange · 05/04/2026 19:13

My Mum is turning 70 next weekend. Ideally I would have booked a lovely family getaway but my husband and eldest son are farmers and we are lambing so going away is just not possible.
For the same reason even going for a family meal out would be difficult.
I had a brainwave of hosting an elegant dinner party at my home: everyone dresses up, champagne and canapés, choice of mains with elegant sides and a lovely birthday cake which I’m having made.
Then an evening of cocktails, games and a nice cheeseboard.
BUT I’m now second guessing myself. Is that a rubbish 70th birthday? She keeps asking for hints as to what we’re doing…just worried she’ll turn up and be disappointed.
For context my Dad was 70 three years ago and Jan and we went for a family meal then went to Gran Canaria in February.
We are planning to give my Mum a gift of a holiday too but no plans for a family getaway as such.

OP posts:
Overthebow · 05/04/2026 19:15

It sounds lovely and I’d be delighted if it were my birthday.

Confuserr · 05/04/2026 19:15

I think that sounds very nice although if you were planning on splashing out on a party/meal out, could you spring for a private chef to come and cook? Means you can all enjoy together with noone in the kitchen, and might make it feel even more of an "event"?

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 05/04/2026 19:17

It sounds very nice. I take it your mum knows the score re busy with lambing?

OchonAgusOchonOh · 05/04/2026 19:23

That sounds fabulous. I would love that. I’m 61 so a bit younger than your dm but similar ball park. The only thing I would say is don’t do a choice of mains. Focus on one really nice one that she likes.

Mouthfulofquiz · 05/04/2026 19:24

I would assume she knows about the lambing? That’s quite an important thing!

Steelworks · 05/04/2026 19:26

Sounds lovely. Can I come?

Sometimessmiling · 05/04/2026 19:26

Sounds fantastic. She will appreciate the effort.

DinosaurBlue · 05/04/2026 19:27

I think that sounds lovely tbh.

Can you afford to get a private chef, to make it even more special

I would also gift her the holiday on the day, even if it’s just a destination TBC printed on some paper, just so she doesn’t think this is it (think it’s great even without the holiday but after your dad’s 70th she may have very high expectations!).

OttersOnAPlane · 05/04/2026 19:28

She needs to know ahead of time or she won't glam up suitably.

Could you include the two of you going for getting hair done or a manicure so it feels like a bit of a fuss for her?

Bristolandlazy · 05/04/2026 19:29

Sounds fabulous, your family sure go all out. Surely that's a winner given the effort, care and attention you'd give that versus booking a restaurant. I would love it. What a brilliant daughter you are.

AgnesX · 05/04/2026 19:31

It sounds lovely. In comparison to your dad's though it's a bit low key. Could you arrange to go away later in the year, even if it's just for a weekend. Ask her if that's what she would like.

Brewtiful · 05/04/2026 19:35

I think it sounds nice enough but it's a little lackluster in comparison to what you did for your dad so she might be a little disappointed. I second the suggestion of a private chef or perhaps you and your mum could also have a trip away together.

VividDeer · 05/04/2026 19:37

Sounds amazing, and an owed holiday even more

HollyGolightly4 · 05/04/2026 19:43

Sounds lovely! A murder mystery game alongside could work really well? Like a 1920s style one?

Sprig1 · 05/04/2026 19:48

Sounds great to me.

ScaryM0nster · 05/04/2026 19:51

Forgive the daft question (but your mum might have the same thought). If lambing rules out going out, why does taking up a full evening with a fancy meal at home work?

CombatBarbie · 05/04/2026 19:59

ScaryM0nster · 05/04/2026 19:51

Forgive the daft question (but your mum might have the same thought). If lambing rules out going out, why does taking up a full evening with a fancy meal at home work?

Because they likely live rurally and the days are getting longer.

Farewelltothatid · 05/04/2026 20:00

My goodness OP it sounds lovely. Why would she not like it? And you are going to gift her a holiday too? That is really generous of you.

I don't understand the " big " birthday phenomenon. Once you are an adult making a lot of fuss over birthdays really isn't necessary. What you are doing for your Mum is more than enough to celebrate it.

Original poster
Strugglingforanamechange · 05/04/2026 20:07

ScaryM0nster · 05/04/2026 19:51

Forgive the daft question (but your mum might have the same thought). If lambing rules out going out, why does taking up a full evening with a fancy meal at home work?

Because we’ll still be at home Hubby and son can nip away to check everything is ok. Also to go out to eat somewhere nice we’d be away 4 hours minimum given when we live. Also no guarantee hubby and son would get away if everything goes sideways but at home they can join at some point throughout the evening. It’s hard to explain to non farmers but my Mum does understand so that’s not an issue x

OP posts:
Original poster
Strugglingforanamechange · 05/04/2026 20:09

Thanks for all the feedback and reassurance. I hadn’t thought of a private chef but I’ve maybe left it a bit late. I will look into it though as it’s a great idea.

OP posts:
Confuserr · 05/04/2026 20:33

Strugglingforanamechange · 05/04/2026 20:09

Thanks for all the feedback and reassurance. I hadn’t thought of a private chef but I’ve maybe left it a bit late. I will look into it though as it’s a great idea.

If it's too late for a private chef, a cheaper and prob more available option would be to hire someone to serve up/make drinks etc for a few hours so you could still be "waited on"?

golddiamond · 05/04/2026 20:39

That sounds so lovely and thoughtful. Don’t doubt yourself for a moment.

Everlil · 05/04/2026 20:41

Does she like that sort of thing? If so, she’ll love it, if she’d prefer a holiday then just do that later when you’re all free?

NormasArse · 05/04/2026 20:45

Can you invite her earlier in the day and arrange for a hairdresser and MUA to come?

ChatterMonkey · 05/04/2026 20:54

I think it sounds lovely, particularly if you can get a private chef/bartender for the evening.

But does your mum know a holiday is out of the question? Just in case she is mentally packing her suitcase, then a dinner (no matter how nice!) Might feel disappointing