Do people judge women who are childless after a certain age?

[LiliCo334]

What do you think? Just wanted some opinions. In 2026 I still fell like peopel act like if a women never has children then she got no life.

I get asked a lot why I don't have kids. I just say: "I had a medical incident and now I can't."

How would they know?

I’m not particularly old but I had kids young and they are now adults. I go out and about without kids and I’m not sure how anyone can tell the difference between me and someone who never had kids.

I think society judges women for everything they do. To have kids, to not have kids, to have the 'right' number of kids, to have the 'right' age gaps, to have them with the 'right' type of partner at the 'right' age...

There's no opportunity to judge a woman that society passes up.

I dont thinl people think about others as much as they think

Yes, I've had some nasty comments about being sterilised. Couldn't give a shit though, I have good reasons for being childfree and am happy, so who cares what people think?

Women are judged no matter what they do, 0 children, 1 child, multiple children, how they parent, how the look. You can’t make everyone happy so it’s best not to try.

Some People judge everyone.

Does it depend on what generation you belong to? I know lots of 30 something who don’t want dc & i’ve never thought it was odd.

Not at all. I have 2 (in their late 20s now) and have loved being a mum, but it's been hard sometimes, and you spend years chasing your tail. I would not change a thing as I adore and love my 2 DC, but I can see why some women choose to remain childfree.

I think some young women can see how hard it can be and how frazzled their mothers have been over the years. Having to hold down a job, look after children, and look after elderly relatives, whilst often taking on the lion's share of the housework, gruntwork, wifework, and domestic duties.

Women are getting a clue, they know they're in for 2 decades or more of grunt work, and domesticity, and often with a man who will make himself too busy to pull his finger out around the house, and look after the children. (He will find hobbies that take him away from family responsibilities, and be busy at work,) and she will be the primary carer. Her body, and career, and life will be affected, whilst his life and career remains unaltered. (And his body obviously!)

So yeah - is it such a huge shock that many women CBA with having children now?!

I think more men than women are annoyed and angry with women who remain childfree. They want women to be brood mares, and to have them know their place! Some men don't like it when they're not in control, and women don't need them!

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I’ve never been asked except once by a taxi driver who was being overly friendly. I lied and said I had 5 sons. There are several women in my family who don’t have children and none of us have ever felt judged, which of course doesn’t mean we haven’t been 😆

My Dd is 34 married no children, I get people asking why she doesn't have children yet, it is so rude and Intrusive.

I'm 52 and child free by choice. I've never felt judged.

Isn't it about 40% of female graduates who will remain child free now? Hardly unusual.

Plus who cares if people judge. Its not their life, no-one has an obligation to do anything because others think they should.

I'm nearly 60, never had them, never wanted them, and also never been judged. I have quite a lot of friends my age who chose not to have them and no issues at all from anyone. Apart from envy sometimes. 😂

That is bloody rude and cheeky! I'm sorry she has to tolerate this.

Sorry you have to too!

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The vote would be more meaningful if it showed whether the voters have children or not.

I am childless and yes I do feel people judge me, it happens surprisingly often, and I don’t think people even mean to judge me when they do it. Micro-judgements.

For example when meeting new people through work networking, more often than not one of the common questions is about having a family. When I say no I don’t have children, there will always be a follow on ‘why, didn’t you want any’ or similar. Yet I would absolutely never ask someone why they do have children!

Judgy people are seriously unpleasant, and it is downright fucking rude to ask someone why they don't have kids.

How can they know or tell whether the woman is childless through choice, or they would love kids but can't have them due to circumstance, medical problems, recurrent miscarriage or stillbirth, premature menopause, infertility of their life partner, whatever.

Leave childless women alone.

I agree that it seems to be men who always have an issue and an opinion based on my experience.

I have been in a few situations where men insisted they didn’t want children but then were angry and confused when I didn’t change my mind. When I asked them if they were planning on doing the majority of parenting if I went back to work and sharing the rest of domestic duties they seemed taken aback and incredulous and said no I should want to be the one to take care of all this.

I was told I was unnatural for not wanting to become a slave and I asked why these men were so desperate to have children if they aren’t planning to raise them.

Some of the replies included:
It’s the normal done thing to have a family,
They wanted to pass their genes on,
All their friends had “proper families” with a wife who takes care of everything,
They would love a little boy to play with and take to football,
They wanted to “knock me up” 🤢.

Based on my own experiences I wouldn’t encourage anyone younger to have children or trust men to pull their weight. I know NAMALT but just being on mumsnet shows there are plenty of them around.

My ex left me because I wouldn’t have children and went on to have 3 with someone else. I warned him he’d be miserable and we had a good happy life and he was too selfish and wasn’t suited to putting himself last but he didn’t listen.
After his 3rd child he was begging me to get back with him and walked out on his family.

My current DP is more sensible, he said when most of his friends had children to start with they were telling him he needed to have kids because it was the best thing ever to happen to them and the best experience… 2 years later they were telling him he’d dodged a bullet.

I’ve only been judged by my three oldest friends - I went to school with all of them and we are still in regular touch. Two had three kids each and one had five. Each of them has made the comment (or similar) “well, you don’t know proper love until you’ve had kids” to me, and it hurts like fuck.
Most of my later friends don’t have kids, for a variety of reasons, and I prefer it that way.

One of my friends wanted children but her husband didn't. So they never had any. Now in her later years, my friend deeply regrets never having had dc and still feels an incredibly sad sense of loss about it. She divorced the bastard husband in the end, but too late for her body clock.

Sounds about right @DickieAnderson SO many men are like your ex! (The one who went on to have 3 children with someone else.) Good for you for standing your ground!

I adopted my son when he was 7, I was 34.

I hadn’t had any biological children, he’s my partner’s son biologically. Obviously he also has a bio-mum; she’s not around.

We’re not having any children together, by choice, as my son’s needs are complex and it wouldn’t be right for our family.

I get a lot of people asking if that’s a sacrifice I’m happy to make, if it’s “fair,” if I’m “missing out,” if I’m sure I don’t want any of “my own.”

Before that, I had lots of “clock ticking” comments, and lots of head tilted “so don’t you want children?”

That's sad. Bound to happen now and again I guess... But I think 'no children regret' will lessen over the coming years as so many more women are not having them.

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Some people are just twits aren't they?! Your son is so lucky to have you as his mum! 😘

I didn’t vote as I don’t judge at all but I think society does (but shouldn’t). There are any number of reasons for not having children. 2 of my best friends don’t in their mid 40s, both through choice in the end although one reluctantly (wanted them but knew her mental health and sleep needs wouldn’t accommodate).

I never had children (by choice) and no-one has ever judged me - not to my face anyway, and what they say behind my back doesn't interest me. Anyone who feels it necessary to discuss and pass judgement isn't my kind of person. Sometimes people will ask how many children/grandchildren I have and when I say none that's the end of it - not one person has ever questioned it.