Ex wife needs payslip for benefits?

[Loukey]

My ex wife has asked for a copy of my payslip every March since we divorced 6 years ago. She claims there’s a benefits form she completes (we have 2 kids which she claims child benefit for and I give her child maintenance), and the form needs my payslip to calculate the minimum amount I should pay her and for her to confirm she’s happy with it and receives it.
I can’t find information on any benefits or tax form which requires this - does anyone else have any idea?
I pay the maintenance by standing order and she’s never complained about the payment. The issue is arising as I’m now self employed so won’t have a payslip to give her, so if it’s so important on the form, I don’t know that she can complete it?
just confused and looking for any knowledge or advice on what the form is she needs my employment details for

Whoah no don’t give her anything!!!! No form needs 6 years of your payslips! Only two options are child support if you’re not paying it, and spousal support. If you didn’t have a clean financial break stamped by the court then she can come back any time in your life and claim support. So long as she knows your income …….

Do not give her anything. She is being duplicitous and needs to reference exactly the form and benefit she needs this for. Don’t do it.

An ex partner/spouse has no right to know how much money you earn. Nobody should be asking her for proof of anyone else’s earnings but her own/household. I think she’s being nosey.

In regards to child maintenance, I’m assuming the relevant people would contact you directly to get any information they need.

How old are your children? Was the maintenance set by the CSA or court?

She could apply for it to change if your income changes, which is only fair. But asking for your payslips from the last six years sounds more like she’s preparing to apply for a payment to herself from your monthly salary, maybe.

It is important, what level was agreed and if set in court if otherwise stamped and agreed.

At what point was I slagging off? I asked a genuine question as the circumstances have changed and I won’t be getting a wage slip. I’ve gone self employed because I got made redundant. I’ve never missed a payment and told my ex each time my wage changed. Don’t tar everyone with the same brush

I got made redundant in December and told her I would pay the same as if I was working until the end of March (end of the tax year) and then I’d have 3 months of self employment that we can reassess with. Thought that would be fair for both of us

What do you mean come down to my level? I’ve done nothing except ask for advice when I couldn’t find the information I needed online or from other people? Think you’re being judgmental for no reason

Both 12. We use the CMS calculator and do it between the two of us. I’ve always told her when my wages changed and never missed a payment. She’s never complained about the money or said she wants more. If it’s going to be more complicated because I’m self employed now, I’ll happily go through CMS as I’ve got nothing to hide

This site is full of people looking for an argument. You’re best off ignoring them or the thread quickly turns into a cesspit.

We just use the CMS calculator and do it between us. No reason as far as I know - never complained about the money and I’ve got it as a standing order so doesn’t come late or anything. I’ve always told her when my wage changed before. She’s asked for it every March since we divorced and until now I’ve just done it to save any arguments, but as I won’t have anything to show wasn’t sure if there’s something it needs to be replaced with or something

Good for her ! Tho I am surprised it's a payslip and not the P60 ?

No idea why Op is getting a hard time. He’s just asking a question.

you misread.

i was replying to someone who said the ex may need the p60/payslip because men lie about incomes.

my point was even if they do, she still doesn’t need your p60 and lying about it is deceitful.

it wasn’t a reference to your situation as we don’t know the details.

just pointing out there is no circumstance where lying to get a p60 is justified. Because you can go to the CMS.

sorry I’ve got p60 in my head as she’s asking for it in march so I assume this is what you’re giving rather than a payslip? So she has your yearly income?

anyway, back to the point. If she has several years of your proof of income is there any chance she’s using it to obtain credit/
loans/mortgages or anything else nefarious? I was always taught payslips and p60’s should not be shared because of the risk of identity theft as it contains a lot of financial information- ni number, address, employer etc.

Are you paying the minimum, do you help out with other costs?

I know, Mumsnet is WILD. People always want to read more into something.

At the end of the day, the answer is simple. She doesn't need the payslip, she's spinning a yarn.

What the OP pays is nobody's business and irrelevant to the question.

There is no benefit that will require her to provide her ex husband's pay slip. She's lied to you for 6 years.

Sorry for misreading.

she’s previously said a p60 or payslip is fine.

i honestly don’t know what she needs it for and that’s why im asking. There’s a chance it’s her error and she’s using it as she would’ve done when we were together for child benefits to show she’s not over the high tax threshold, but I’ve never seen the form she’s talking about so I really don’t know.

I guess there’s a chance she’s using it for something else, but as far as I know she’s not got a loan, and she bought be out of the mortgage when we split.

I mean not that it should matter as the minimum is what’s required, but I pay half of everything school related, I pay for one of their phone contracts (we do one each), and I’ve previously done half when they need things like new bikes for home

You're getting a hard time OP.
I hope your new self employment is successful, you sound like one of the good guys who is doing a good job of supporting their children financially.
Can't think why she needs your paperwork.

You need to know your partners income for two online benefits.

If you use tax free childcare- you have to complete salary declarations of both parents income to prove that you fall within the eligibility requirements

If you receive child benefit there is a sliding scale of parental income, however even if the partner earns above the threshold, when taking into account pension contributions (as shown on a payslip) they may actually be below the threshold.

There is also a requirement that a certain numbers of hours are worked and that they are not in receipt of benefits for tax free childcare.

(I use it for wrap around care and school holiday club payments)

I am married, but have to ask my husband for sight of his payslip to complete these forms each term… not because I am checking up on him, but because they need to be completed accurately.

I suspect that this is why your ex partner has requested this information, rather than for any negative reasons.

If as a parent you submit false information there is a risk that having provided it, you could be held accountable by HMRC.

https://beststartinlife.gov.uk/childcare-early-years-education/tax-free-childcare/eligibility/

https://www.gov.uk/report-changes-child-benefit/if-your-familys-circumstances-change

To keep the peace, ask her to send you a picture of the instructions

That’s only if you live together though? As it’s household income.

i know for certain single mums earning under the threshold will still get CB even if their ex earns well over.

so as o/p and his ex don’t live together there is no reason for her to need a copy of his payslip.

I think the tax free childcare forms ask for parents, rather than partners details.

I gave to confirm they are working enough hours a week and declare their income.

Surely if OP has nothing to hide, and ex partner wants to ensure that that forms are completed correctly then sharing this information is not a problem?

One of the first things your first link says is partner, if you have one. OP is not her partner, so his income is irrelevant to entitlement to tax free childcare. This is backed up by a chatGPT query.

However, I suspect you may have identified the reason she is asking. But the cynic in me says that it is because she is fraudulently using his information to apply for a benefit she is not entitled to considering she says it is for a benefits form and people on UC are not able to claim for it.

If being separated / divorced means that an ex parents income is irrelevant in terms of benefit entitlement, then having the payslip can’t be used for eligibility for something she isn’t entitled to!

I am surprised that it’s based on partners income not parents income as surely parents should both be contributing in full to raising children they have financially, and partners without any legal responsibility for a child is included in the calculations for financial support.

Smart lady 🤣