Cosleeping with 3 year old and alcohol

[ZanyWasp]

Hi, I am in no way judging my friend but I just wanted some advice. She has a 3 year old, up until recently she's not drank alcohol as she cosleeps with her child. Now shes 3, she feels its responsibile to now have the odd glass of wine or 2 but sometimes even a bottle of wine whilst she continues to cosleep. Her argument is shes never drunk and always alert. Dont get me wrong, I dont think she would be drunk but maybe tipsy after a bottle. She feels its safe as the child is old enough now. She isn't a deep sleeper anyways apparently what's your thoughts? Do you stay completely teetotal u tol their in their own bed. I have this question as I have a 2 year old and cosleep but dont drink alcohol when he's in our bed.

Also if you drink a bottle of wine per week (thats me assuming your 2 bottles are divided evenly between you and your husband) you probably drink more than I do over the course of the year.

Yeah this is why I can’t understand how cosleeping with a newborn is ever really safe. I’m sure someone will be along to tell me I am wrong but I know how tired I was when I had a newborn and this seems absolutely foreseeable to me.

Sadly binge drinking is fairly normalised in the uk and a lot of people drink to excess but it’s still a stretch to say “ most “ people fall into the binge drinking category. Certainly those that binge drink and hence wouldn’t be allowed to drive , should not be in sole charge of a child.

Definitely normalised in the UK, i agree.

If 6 units in a sitting is classed as binge drinking then i feel the majority of drinkers are binge drinkers.

I work in a pub at weekends and most people have at least 4 drinks which would constitute as binge drinking. 6 units isnt actually much, 4 gins would be that or 2 pints i think. Someone having 2 pints doesnt sound excessive but thats about 6 units. Id guess some cocktails are really high too! Two strong cocktails on a saturday and that would be classed as binging.

@ScartlettSole ”The Royal Medical Colleges reported that studies into alcohol-related harm in women consistently found the consumption level at which relative risk of mortality starts to rise is around 16 grams of pure alcohol per day (two UK units). It also known that women reach higher blood ethanol concentrations than men following the same dose of ethanol, regardless of body weight. This is because ethanol is soluble in water and women have a higher ratio of body fat to body water than men [24].
Higher blood ethanol concentrations for a given level of consumption have a role in development of alcohol dependence. Women experience an increased risk of dependence at an earlier stage or lower consumption levels than men 25]. Physiological changes as a result of heavy drinking – including liver disease such as cirrhosis and hepatitis – also have a shorter onset time and occur at lower consumption levels among women compared with men 26]. Women are also more sensitive to brain damage caused by alcohol dependence, with alcohol dependent women’s brain volumes (measures of grey anda white matter) affected more than their male counterparts 27].
It has also been found that women who drink excessively develop more medical problems than men 28]. This is consistent with women in developed countries having a generally higher burden of chronic disease morbidity – but not mortality – than men 29].”…….6 units may not “feel” very much but it still puts someone into the binge drinking category and it’s why it can be such a shock for younger women to be diagnosed with liver damage. https://britishlivertrust.org.uk/bbc-panorama-binge-drinking-and-me-puts-a-spotlight-on-alcohol-related-liver-disease/

Your friend should not be drinking at all when she is taking care of her children.

In fact, having children is an excellent excuse to quit altogether.

Some would say it’s an excellent reason to start…

Joking aside, the subject of alcohol is incredibly divisive on MN and always brings out a shit load of judging from both sides.

The op’s original point was about drinking and co sleeping which I think most people can agree would not be an issue with a 3 year old and a couple of glasses of wine. Op is judging her friend needlessly.

@honeytoast2 if it was a couple of glasses there would be barely if any judgement (though I'm also aware peoples definition of a glass has become incredibly skewed) but the op's friend had a whole bottle of wine - hence the judgement. We do nobody any favours, least of all the children involved ,when we fail to distinguish between moderate drinking and excessive drinking. I'm sure many of us have drunk far too much at some point but once you have children you have a responsibility to care for them in the best way possible and also make sure you are healthy enough to see them through to adulthood.

Ah, typical Mumsnet posters jumping in quick with their opinion and bullying away anyone else who will have a different opinion with the: "No doubt you will get dozens of posts saying..." rhetoric 🙄

Growing up with a heavy drinking older sibling, you could smell the alcohol fumed breath from their bedroom before you even got to the landing. 🤢

A bottle of wine is a huge amount to drink of an evening at home.
Concerning.