DP and I have never wanted to get married. In fact, we have actively not wanted to get married. Reasons not terribly relevant to this thread. We're perfectly happy as we are.
My family: Would be delighted if we changed out minds, but quite understand that it's our decision alone, and they're sensible enough to realise that the most important bit is that we're stable and happy and, in their eyes, "as good as married".
DP's family: Don't understand at all why we won't do it. Forever bringing the subject up. Feel that the reason we're not married is because we're not committed to each other, in which case we should split up. The fact that we're not married causes them unhappiness.
So. It is looking increasingly likely that by the end of the year we're going to be living in a country in which it is illegal for unmarried couples to co-habit. As far as we're concerned no biggie, we'll pop down to the registry office and get married. It is just a document. It's not like we weren't planning on being together forever anyway, and it won't have any bearing on our relationship.
My family: we'll phone and tell them that we're getting married so we can move to this place. Explain that it's a legal document, not a wedding. They'll understand.
DP's family: Urg! What do we do? They're very pushy and will almost certainly want to come along. I don't really want that because as soon as we mark the occasion in any way it would be unfair to my family who won't be there. And as soon as we have both families it's a wedding which we don't want. Bluntly put, we don't want DP's family there. We don;t want anyone there. How do we tell them this without upsetting them too much?
(Fait accompli not a goer).
PS - We are quite happy to have a bit of a celebration in a few years time.
PPS - I'm such a sap - this evening DP said "Broccoli, will you marry me?" and I said yes and felt all romantic and absurdly pleased! Arf. I'm such a fake .