Being outed on Mumsnet - in ohter words someone delcaring they know you in RL

[lisalisa]

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maybe this person does not really know you and is winding you up?

maybe they do and don;t want to be outed themselves, which is a bit unfair

i would cat the person or ask them to talk to you off board, as they sort of have an advantage over you now

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I haven't had this happen though I live in fear of it! I sometimes post then think - oh no - what if someone in RL knows who I am. But then I think other people probably care less about your personal shenanigans tan you think they do (unless they're stalking you on here which is another matter).

If you're unhappy, just change your name and come back in a new guise.

Can't you guess who it is? There can't be loads of people you know in RL who it could be.

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seems a bit off to namechange to admit they know you. i wonder why they just didn't CAT you or just not mention it.

I saw that post and thought it was a bit creepy.
Definitely out of order, she should either tell you who she is so you're both on the same page or just keep schtum to stop you feeling uncomfortable.

Dont know what to advise. Sorry though, it's really a crap thing to do.

i had this and someone i didn't know very well at all came up to me in the playground and started talking about my miscarriage - which was very private to me.

I had to do a complete name change and tread carefully for a while but has died down now.

Shame as I miss my old name and the people who knew me as that may have missed the name change and thought i was someone new.

it is not as bad as it felt at the time tbh

I think it's only fair for them to let you know who they are.

I once "recognised" a poster on here (we've never met, but I know her DH and he'd mentioned that his DW was a Mumsnetter) so gave her enough information to let her know who I was too. That way we were on an equal footing and both had the option to namechange or not as desired.

I can't see why she felt the need to (a) namechange or (b) mentin that she knew you on that thread, though. It seems very odd.

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You could hit the little alert sign on the original post from her, which will give you the option to get a message to MN Towers.

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that's a real shame ll

Yes it is a real shame if you have to leave because of this lisalisa. Hope you can work out a way of sticking around but retaining your anonimity. Bad form of this other person not to be straight with you so you know where you stand.

Can you CAT the person in question? do they accept CATs?
I agree it is disconcerting and upsetting when this happens, but tbh I read the thread as meaning more than she wanted to preserve her own anonymity as a fellow Orthodox Jewish woman, than stalk you. I did not see anything specifically threatening in what she wrote.
What I am trying to say is that she may genuinely not realise that she has caused you such upset - has she posted since that remark?

The other poster is very inconsiderate to just drop something like that into a thread and disappear.

Just a thought lisalisa - is her namechange a clue for you to identify her?

I wondered that too Chippy
It's an intriguing choice for a namechange
I hope you find a way to keep posting lisalisa, and don't let this drive you out
I am still hopeful it's a clumsily phrased namechange on her part rather than maliciously intended

That's a thought -- it would make sense then why she phrased things that way, if she thought the new name would make it obvious to lisalisa who she was.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1375/526797 the other poster has apologised in the original thread.