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Original poster

Am I Dirty?

189 replies

DirtyGirl · 16/12/2002 14:54

Not as exciting as the title suggests, I'm afraid, but wanted to get your advice/ views on this...
I like to think I keep my family reasonably clean and healthy, but think I am realistic, and am not a 'laundry fanatic' - particularly since dh & I both work full time and we have a toddler and a baby.
Anyway, had a 'debate' with dh the other day, when I asked him whether he really needed to put his shirts into the laundry after just wearing for one day.
I should point out that we're talking about the thick, checked,Timberland-type heavy cotton sort, which he always wears open-necked with a white T shirt underneath (his company has a casual dress policy)
Well basically his response made me feel as if I was being accused of being a slovenly bitch who didn't wash....
My other general principles include:

  • only wash tops/shirts/jumpers (when worn over T-shirts etc) after 2-3 wears, or if visibly dirty/ smell of food/smoke etc
  • kids PJs/babygros (bedtime) get worn for 3-4 nights(unless accidents occur)
  • kids trousers worn twice (unless visibily dirty, or wet etc)
  • kids jumpers/tops - changed daily (always dirty/messy)
  • all underwear/ socks changed daily

Is this unreasonable? Am I dirty?
(Have changed my name in case the verdict is a resounding YES, in which case I can safely skulk away in shame..)
P.S. Seemed an appropriate thread, given Persil's sponsorship of Mumsnet?

OP posts:
Demented · 16/12/2002 22:43

When it was only DS1 he used to get bathed every day, now I have the two of them it is two to three times a week. Our bedcovers ideally are changed once a week but it tends to be more like once a fortnight, if it was up to DH it would be once a year, recently he felt I changed them too much and decided to mark on the calendar when they were changed (sad!). DS1's bed only gets changed when it is wet or I remember but DS2's needs done more often, usually a couple of times a week as it starts to smell a bit of sicked up milk and food. I used to change towels every day but now the kids use the same towel, then it gets washed and I change the rest of the towels about twice a week.

It is really interesting (sad I know) to find out what other people do as it is not exactly something you would ask a 'real life'.

BTW my DH always has clean undies.

Chinchilla · 16/12/2002 22:49

Forgot to say that ds has a bath every night. It is his time with dh. Also, in case you think that I'm smelly, I have clean everything every day, except fleeces etc that go over other things. My dh thinks that I am mad, and ds only goes longer than one day for tops now because he made a comment on how much unnecessary washing I was doing. (Dh made the comment, not ds! )

Enid · 16/12/2002 22:49

Change all beds once a week, wash all clothes usually after one wear (we have a lot of mud down our way!) but rarely iron. Dp irons all his own shirts, its the one thing I DO NOT do. Dds have clean pjs every night and I like to take off 'day' clothes and change into clean pyjama bottoms and t-shirt when kids have gone to bed.

emsiewill · 16/12/2002 22:50

I've wanted to ask the bedlinen / towel question for aaaaages, but never dared, as I thought I would be politely ostracised for my bad housewifely ways. What a relief to hear that everyone is the same as me. Bedlinen is every fortnight, but that's only 'cos I've got the cleaner to start doing it (a real luxury). Towels I'd like to do every week - everyone has to have an ambition! Clothes about the same as everyone else - underwear (knickers / socks) every day, bras every few days, tops I wear twice, trousers until I realise I've been wearing them longer than I should. Dds spend most of their time in uniform - clean polo shirt everyday, but the rest lasts half a week or so depending on what they've been doing. I used to bath them religously every night, but lately not stressed about skipping a couple a week. Dh is quite fussy (comparably, it seems) he has clean boxers / socks every day, and a clean shirt (but he is quite sweaty! ). T shirts / casual clothes last longer. How long do other people's dhs go between getting their suits cleaned?
What a fascinating and reassuring thread.

Demented · 16/12/2002 23:02

Sorry, that should read a 'real life' friend.

Tinker · 16/12/2002 23:03

Don't know if I feel better or nor reading these! Sheets get changed if I notice they are looking grubby, towels when they get smelly, jeans when I notice they don't quite fit properly and could do with shrinking back into shape (weeks), only buy black underwear so it always matchs and have loads of knickers so I don't have to wash them all the time, loads of misfitting bras but I wear bras for ages!

My daughter does get a bath every night but that's so that I can play on the computer. She rarely has a wash at the weekends, just a quick wipe of her face before we go out.

Clarinet60 · 16/12/2002 23:09

While we're on the sunject, do you wash their faces every morning? I don't always remember to do this, but remember it being done to me when I was little.
(the DS's and DD's, not DH's. Unless.........no, don't go there.)

emsiewill · 16/12/2002 23:21

Droile, I try to remember to wash their faces before they go to school, but sometimes time gets short..... The same with brushing dd1s (thick & v curly) hair. Never happens when dh is in charge.

WideWebWitch · 16/12/2002 23:23

droile, no to the face question. I usually ask ds to check his face in the passenger car mirror as we're on the way to school - he then gets any sleep/breakfast off with his fingers. I check it before he goes into school He does have a bath most nights though. Off to look at the cherie blair thread now - from the state of our undies to the state of the world eh?

Bugsy · 17/12/2002 09:38

For some strange reason this is a fascinating thread. I have never asked any of my friends how often they wash clothes, change bedlinen etc.
I think our washing machine would die of shock if it were left unrun at least once if not twice a day!!!! I am at a loss to understand how a family of four quite clean people can generate so much washing. DH is a lazy whatnot and just puts every single item of worn clothing in the washbasket rather than hang it up or refold it! DS is at the grubby little boy stage, cleaning friends floors with his trousers and covering himself in paint at nursery school and DD manages to get food all over herself at most meals, so I have three peoples entire clothing most days. As for me, well I am so damn perfect my clothes come off as clean as they went on (huge smiley with a wink - still can't work out how to do them!).
PS: Dirty Girl come clean - who are you?

Bozza · 17/12/2002 09:38

We bath DS every night (have recently reduced hair wash to every other night) and I wash his hands with liquid soap and face with a flannel every morning. Don't think this is all that necessary when its nursery and he has breakfast there but certainly fairly essential after weetabix at home. Still manages to get fairly crusty before I get to it. Always leave him in his pjs until after breakfast on his four home days.

Bozza · 17/12/2002 09:40

I used to be clean Bugsy - but DS sees it as his challenge to smear me with whatever he's covered in. Toothpaste on the shoulder of my work suit is a favourite - fairly easily remedied with a baby wipe or else the dry cleaners would bankrupt me.

prufrock · 17/12/2002 09:45

It's Ok Alibubbles, you are not alone in your obsessive cleanliness. Sheets and towels once a week - but it is so much easier when you have somebody else to make the bed. Suits etc for work get drycleaned after 4 wars, most everything else after 1. Jeans can be worn 3-4 times, jumpers the same. DD's bottoms get 2 wears, but tops only last one milk feed as she is the dribliest baby alive. Most hand wash stuff does go in the machine, and comes out OK as long as you dry flat. Cheap cashmere too - but expensive cashmeer gets hand washed. (But at the dry cleaners)
You lot don't deserve nice underwear. Bras shouuld be handwashed after every wear, especially if tehy are underwired. it's the only way that they hold their shape and last.

Having aid all that, I did once realise that my bed in my first flat had not been changed since I moved in, this was at the end of a 6 month tenency!

janh · 17/12/2002 09:52

Coo, this is a great thread! I think someone said before they think there is more than one Alibubbles and I believe it! Not going to tell you how often sheets get changed in our house.

School uniform is a wonderful invention - mine all have white shirts so they get changed daily but the rest usually lasts a week. My washing machine works twice as hard in the holidays.

Demented · 17/12/2002 10:05

Are you supposed to wash kids' faces?

Mo2 · 17/12/2002 10:16

OK - hands up - it was ME!! I'm the Dirty Girl, but judging from the responses I'm reassured that I'm quite normal actually....
What a funny bunch we are, eh - this is by far and away the most contributed-to thread I've ever started!
So much for the 'intellectual discussions' I keep telling him we have here on Mumsnet...
Off to wash some bedding now..

Bobbins · 17/12/2002 10:33

prufrock> If your suits only get cleaned after four wars, perhaps we can relate this thread back to world affairs.

Its impotant stuff this.

piasmum · 17/12/2002 10:47

I feel decidedly neurotic, dd has at least one if not 2 baths and hairwashes a day, similarly DH and I. Sheets once a week, clothes, socks, underwear etc everyday, towels after each use. Have to admit that underwear goes in the ordinary wash but I get new every 6 months (b'day and Xmas). I don't iron sheets if that makes me less mad. When I was younger my nanny ironed our socks,and underwear, have you ever put on ironed socks, they're horrible!

Bozza · 17/12/2002 10:48

Bobbins.

Both mine and DH's suits are worn a LOT more than that between cleanings - with the help of the odd dab with a baby wipe.

SoupDragon · 17/12/2002 11:04

I'm off to guiltily change the bedding & towels now...

Alibubbles · 17/12/2002 11:21

janh, I wish there was more than one of me, perhaps my house would be a bit tidier. I hate clutter but seem to accumulate it so quickly!

I shall have a tidy up on Friday as off to snowy Switzerland for 10 days skiing, couldn't bear to come home to a mess or dirty sheets so have to change them before I go!

Inkpen · 17/12/2002 12:14

Love this thread! Original DirtyGirl - have you thought of just getting your dh's shirts, which started all of this discussion, quietly out of the laundry bin, shaking them, folding them, and putting them back in the drawer? Unless he spends his days in a smoky environment, bet he won't notice. After you've done this once or twice, confront him with the evidence ...

berries · 17/12/2002 12:17

Dh does the washing , everyone gets clean undies daily. Other than that its if its smelly/dirty (including sheets/towels)

helenmc · 17/12/2002 13:11

Just to change the subject slightly - my lovely cleaner lefta note asking us to tidy the girls rooms ready for tomorrow's clean. This was after I'd spent sunday morning tidying...aaarrgh so is any-one else's house such a tip (and would you own up to this anyway?)

helenmc · 17/12/2002 13:12

am my cleaner is really loveley ...she'll notice the washing machine has finished..peg it out and put another load on for me!!