I hate being ordinary

[throwingtoys]

This is going to be a strange post and I am ready for people slapping me down. I just don't know what to call this feeling I have - you might say I am ungrateful and self obsessed. So, I have a comfortable life with DH and DC. We live in a relatively nice area with comfortable wages enough to have a good life and be comfortable. I however, have this really horrid complex of feeling average. For example, I'll go to a show/concert and sit in the audience and hate being the ordinary audience member but wish I was the great performer on stage. I watch a royal wedding for example and hate being the spectator watching these elite people attending, wishing I was one of them that everyone admires. The worrying thing is I'm starting to want that for DC. For example, when I see them watching their idol sportsmen I hope they are that sportsman one day and not just idolising and watching them. I wish they were able to attend an elite school so they are not just ordinary. I don't like the thought of them being just another average face in the crowd. It's becoming an unhealthy obsession and I don't know where this stems from. I hate feeling this way. As a child I experienced early deaths within the family, I had a very sick parent and was a child care for some of those years and I'm not sure if this feeling has come somehow from childhood. I can't see the connection but can't see any other reason where this comes from? It's a feeling of somehow being left out. Why would I be feeling this way and why can't I just be happy with this really good life I currently have?

I wonder if it stems from a feeling about being invisible or forgotten if you had loss and a young carer role. I think therapy will be helpful and can turn this into a positive with a more balanced view about what you can abd should be.

Count your blessings OP. This might sort out your dissatisfied feelings.
When I literally go round my flat and give thanks for such as microwave etc and how I've achieved that myself (I'm a Christian so obviously I conceptualise that as with God's help as guidance) I feel tons better.

Have you any hobbies/fun goals you are aiming at?

Those people on that stage had to start at the bottom of the ladder.

Which particular ladder do you want to climb?

Do you want to excel at that peculiar British pastime of brass rubbing?

Do you want to Impress people with your grasp of the Klingon Language?

Turn the TV off. Cancel your licence and get on the ladder of life :)))

God created you as a unique person and has a plan for your life.

Pm me if you want more info.
Have a great weekend!

Nor me.

I’ve had the opposite OP. An absolute desperation to be ordinary and live an ordinary life with ordinary problems. My life had become so fucked up on so many levels and I was deeply traumatised. Ordinarily is bliss. You don’t realise it till it’s gone.

I agree with pp that you need a good therapist.

I have always wanted to do a brass rubbing!

Yes I feel this way! Not about being famous as such but having such a passion for something and being excellent and recognised for it. When I look at David Attenborough for example, people like him amaze me, and I admire him so much. They are famous as a result for being specialist at something. For example I despise reality TV stars who just wanna be famous for no reason - that is definitely not something I am envious of.

Brass rubbing could be a contender 😂. It is the way we view our life as you have pointed out which I struggle to do. Which ladder I want to climb? No idea tbh...

Thanks for all your comments - I don't wanna tag everyone so not to bore the entire thread with my comments but really appreciate the advice and lots of suggestions for therapy which I may look into again.

Well @throwingtoys it's an interesting one, isn't it?

Objectively, very few people, very, very few people have extraordinary lives. The vast majority of people who have ever lived have had hard-scrabble lives of toil.

I love the 'What will you do with your one wild and precious life'?, but realistically, if we were all Thelma and Louiseing all over the place with our precious and wild life, no fucker would have clean knickers, or fridges, or new tyres, or birthday cards or socks.

What most people do with their one wild and precious life, is just get on, within the strictures of their upbringing.

And there's fuck-all wrong with that, if we're all special, no-one's special.

That's not to say we're not valuable as individuals, and we can't touch the lives of those around us and live a very full life.

'I could've been a contender'.

Is a terrible way to live, a terrible way to view the world and yourself.

Thank you, so true and I know you're 100% right. I just need to try and feel jt. I think I've passed the stage of thinking it would be for myself but I've passed on the feeling of it towards my kids - not that I mean they think it but that I want it for them now rather than myself.