What are my rights to stay in house for now?

[emlouba]

Hello

Me and my partner have broken up - he doesn't want to be with me anymore. Whenever ask anything he doesn't like he breaks up with me and causes a huge argument instead of talking about it.

Anyways he's told me I need to move out asap and find sonowhere else to live. I'm not on the mortgage for the house but we have two children.

He said it's his house and that I need to go or stay somewhere else until I find somewhere

Do I have any rights to stay as it's my childrens home?

I feel really crappy but I'm struggling to find anywhere & I feel it's very wrong when this is supposed to be mine and my childrens home aswell as his Alrhough im not on mortgage.

Thank you

Hi OP, are you married? Have you contributed to bills?

I'm sure someone will be along with some additional advice, but my first go to would be citizens advice. And don't leave the property until you speak to them first.

Please also get whatever documents you need - passports, birth certificates etc. Be prepared in case it gets messy.

Sorry this is happening. ❤

@mamabeeboo no I've always said I'd pay all the bills. He's never let me since being together - probably to throw in my face like he has!
I've even sent all my details and said please change them to my name. But wouldn't!

I've told him I'm not going as it's my children's home and their bedrooms are here! He decided this so maybe he should go for a while until I do find somewhere - but that's also another thing I'm stressed on. Mt childcare is his mum who lives round corner whilst I work. So if I moved I'd struggle! And it's so so expensive to rent!

Really worried about what I should and need to do! Xx

If you are not married and not on the mortgage/deeds, then you have no rights to the property op. Why would you, it’s his house. You will likely have to move - he certainly doesn’t given it’s his property. Get legal advice. He will have to pay maintenance for the kids. Hopefully if he has been paying the mortgage and all the bills and you haven’t, then you have saved some money for a deposit on a rental?

@Purplecatshopaholic well no as we have been together 6 years so i didn't think I'd have to save for a mortgage. It's ok I am looking for somewhere but in the meantime I will have to stay here due to nowhere to go! Very stressful!

To confirm, you are not married?

No, it doesn't sound like you have any rights here. It's his house.
You'll be entitled to child maintenance (obviously unless they stay with him).

Children don’t give you rights to a property that is not yours and that you have not contributed to.

Get your mil on side so that you know she will still be supportive and provide childcare and go to the council for help with housing. When you move out you might be entitled to help with childcare, rent and living expenses.

I’m sorry about this. It’s so antiquated that mothers in long term committed relationships don’t have the same protections as married women for their children and themselves in the event of a split.

Unfortunately, you don’t have any claim on the house and not being allowed to pay any bills has cemented that position. Something I suspect your partner was well aware of.

Would he help you financially to move as it will help the children adjust to be set up in a rental.

No rights at all, even just until you find something else. You're not a tenant or a lodger and you've no beneficial interest in the house. I don't think there's anything stopping him just changing the locks, it's his house.

Hi OP just to agree what the others have said you'll be entitled to child maintenance but not the house. Try to remain on friendly terms with his mother.

I think you should seek legal advice. Have you paid for improvements to the property? Evidence of financial contribution? Is your ex a very high earner?
If he is Joe average, like the majority of the population, you will probably need to accept that he is the owner of the property and that you have little/ no claim on the house. He should give you time to find somewhere else to live of course.

Sounds like he knew what he has been doing if he didn't want your name on the bills etc.

can you get one of those free initial consultation with a solicitor?
Does he have a history of being abusive OP? If so could women's aid help?
Do you think he is trying to get custody of the kids?

It’s a bit much to say it’s antiquated

Do you have a job? If you haven't been paying a mortgage or bills then you must have money to sort somewhere to live?

Unfortunately if you're not married and not on the mortgage you have left yourself very vulnerable. You will need to move out and present as homeless at the council if you don't have the means to sort yourself out with somewhere to live. They will only be obliged to house the children though. Make sure you take their birth certificates, passports etc.

I’d keep his mother on-side OP. You have no legal recourse, he’s been careful about that.

Your best hope is that your exMIL can talk him into helping you find somewhere to live and maybe lending you the deposit. He doesn’t have to stay in a relationship with you if that’s not what he wants but he should behave in a decent and respectful way towards the mother of his DCs.

He's been clever - not married you, not let you contribute, not put your name on the title. You're in a very difficult position.

You’re in a pickle that many women find themselves in.
Could you stay with family or even with his Mum?
You could maybe go to a refuge and get support to find housing but that isn’t an easily solved issue.

I think and I will probably get flamed for saying this, I’d try and get him to let you stay and just smile and wave and frantically save money and sell things to build a running away fund.

He's made good and sure that you have no rights at all. Deliberately I'll bet. He could call police and have you removed if he wants. What a cunt.

Get legal advice. There may be some provision under the Children's Act regarding housing.

www.myerson.co.uk/news-insights-and-events/claims-under-schedule-1-children-act-1989

Well yes and no re being a c**t. The OP sadly sleepwalked into this.

You might be as well speaking to Shelter or a women's charity

You may have TOLATA rights. See a family law solicitor.

It isn't 'antiquated'. The legal rights to things like staying in the family home come with marriage. If you want that protection, get married!

I'm sorry OP, that wasn't a dig at you. You believed your relationship was solid, but he's done you over. The best thing you can do is make plans to move elsewhere. Speak to the council, he's making you homeless.

He writes a letter making you homeless. You take it to your local council housing department and start the process of getting re-homed.
Might take a while, might not get housed where you want, or in a place you like.

What savings have you got for private rental deposit?
There is child maintenance and Universal Credit and Child Benefit to help.

Why do they have to be confined to marriage though? Families come in more shapes and varieties now and legal protections should be enhanced for people who choose to be committed but not marry.

They aren’t. Opposite sex couples can also enter into a civil partnership which confers the same rights and obligations. The Op and her ex partner have not made any commitment. Or are you suggesting that having a child should constitute a commitment to the other parent de facto?