You know what? I commit "benefit fraud "and I think I'm justified

[ScroungingSingleMum]

I'm a single mum , whose ex left three years ago and has consistently refused to pay anything (and I mean anything - not even a penny) in maintenance.

From my benefits (£59 IS, £45 CTC, £18 CB - so a total of £122 a week) I am losing £15.26 a week in repayments for the loan I had to take out to secure my child and myself a home after ex did a vanishing act and the council refused to house us. Every week I need to pay nearly £15 for gas and electricity (yes, the heating is on a low setting, but we live in a cold rural area and have no double glazing), £4.50 for TV licence, £4 for Water, £8 for phone/internet connection (yes, I know its not a necessity but I have to have some way to get contact with the rest of the world - being on my own in the countryside means I don't get out much), £4.50 every time we need to get the bus into town for shopping/doctor/library/semblance of social life etc, £15 for the taxi home if I need to do a big shop, oh and feed us a healthy diet, clothe/shoe us adequately, find the money to take my child to see ex (I know thats not my job, but if I didn't do it the relationship would be lost which would IMO be a tragedy for my child), I try to save something, however small, so that we have a fallback fund for holidays/birthdays/disasters...

I am entitled to keep £10 of any maintenance ex pays - but he doesn't pay any, so we don't get that premium.

I refuse to get into debt (other than the Budgeting Loan from the Social Fund that I have) and we do not have a car, or a big new telly (we have one that I found in a skip in fact). I economise wherever I can but its very very hard.

So... I clean the old lady three-doors-down's house for four hours a week for £6 an hour. It means I can have a bottle of wine once in a while, or a coffee before getting the bus 6 miles home after a morning luging the shopping round town, or have a friend over for a meal sometimes, or buy new (by which I mean secondhand-but-new-to-me) clothes every now and then.

And you know what? If you begrudge me that then fuck you.

You are so smug Twinkie. Most kids are well adjusted at 4. The girl I knew was bloody well adjusted as well, until she went to school with a bunch of girls who viciously and relentlessly bullied her.

I was going to stay away from this but after reasing bb9 and Greeny's tiff I want to add something:

When I claimed benefits as a single mother, I didn't feel guilty, worthless, bad or like less of a peerson for doing so. I'm sorry you felt this way bb but don't assume everyone shares those feelings.

I agree with Greeny, I've only ever come accross the term "benefit mummy" from you posting it here, and the notion that you are less of a person for being a 'benefit mummy' as you put it is ludicrous and insulting. If you want people to have better perseptions of single parents, maybe you should start with your own attitudes?

NDTH - my point isn't about the OP it's about HE in general. There seems to be this feeling abroad that it is a lifestyle choice. For the majority of HE-ers, it's anything but, at least to start off with. (They may grow into their roles as time goes on, but as I said before, teh main catalyst for most HE-ing is a bad experience with school.)

And what would happen if we all decided we had the right to chuck in the job and home ed?

No one would be there to pay the benfits I can tell you - well just the men who earn a lot and according to most on MN they should be fleeced for every penny to pay for peoples benefits in this godforsaken society. And I don;t begrudge people on benefits holidays, TVs, anything for that matter as long as they are on benefits because they do not have a choice - to choose to be taking from something that was set up to aid the really needy people is vile and disgusting.

And he kid is 4 it has never been to school - no bullying nothing like that has gone on - I would be behind her - well other than on the fraud if there were mitigating circumstances but ther aren't!

And has anyone any data on what being brought up in such poverty does to a child versus the damage that is done by going to a state school????

Little Bella, my experiance of HE was dc that had never been to school and then joined secondary schools when they turned 11. Or others in my line of work that have never been to school and the parent just doesn't want them to go into school for education.

It is growing in other countries due to religious reasons - not bad experiances.

There would never be a situation where everyone would chuck in teh job and home ed because most people are too thick to consider it a viable option. Most of those who aren't too thick are either too lazy (like me) or feel that school is a better option for their children.

"And has anyone any data on what being brought up in such poverty does to a child versus the damage that is done by going to a state school????"

This is not a sensible question. There is no statistical relationship between the two propositions. It's like asking if there is any data on how effective brushing your teeth with colgate is versus having a leather sofa instead of fabric. There's just no relationship there, so it's a bit of a strange juxtaposition.

Oooooh I like you Twinkie1. You say it how it is. I agree with you about HE. We all want to protect our childrent from other children. The reality is that when they get out amongst them, most of them are ok and they need to learn to avoid the ones that aren't and sometimes to hold their tongues and get on with people that they don't particularly like. You can't wrap them in cotton wool as when they go out to work (if indeed they choose to in this day and age) they will mix with a cross section of people, some they like and people they don't like, but they will have to get on with them all.

ivykaty I think your experience is becoming more common now as the HE movement grows (more people not participating in school to begin with) and more people considering it who would simply not have entertained the idea 30 years ago.

Although afaik (and perhaps I'm hopelessly out of date) most HE in this country still starts as a reaction to bad school experiences, doesn't it? I'm aware of the religious motivation for a percentage of HE-ers, isn't that also becoming a bigger thing in the UK now?

No it isn't a stupid comparison - this kid is being brought up in poverty because the effects of state schooling it are just too hideous to contemplate - I would think that bringing a kid up in poverty is far worse in every respect for its development both emotionally and physically than it going to school!

Oh and I am not too lazy to HE my kids just don't think I an qualified to do so (although I have a wodge of qualifications and a high paid job so can't be that much of a dope!) and think the social lessons and friendships they make at school are just as important as the academic progress they make there.

Anyway I am off to bed now so no more arguing and complaining for me.

Some parents of older children are encouraged to HE their kids to get them off the school register so that they don't disrupt the education of other pupils. Doesn't mean they are being educated, just means they are off the register.

That's a first petetong!

Say it how it is - lots of people on here are too afraid of upsetting someone even if they think they are wrong or are afraid of going against the general consensus on here.

Me pah - learnt to speak up for myself at school and look where that has got me!

Anyway as I said off to bed now - have a nice evening everyone.

Yes that's true PeteTong. A very strange development.

I find it absolutely astonishing that you think you know this kid better than its mother, Twinkie.

this is turning into another boring thread about home education

why does the fact that the op only earns a small amount without declaring it make this ok? if you have to declare it and dont then it is fraud no matter how much the amount in question.
So many threads on mumsnet support peoples, especially single parents , right to be on benefits.
Any poster that suggests benefits are taken advantage of or used fraudulently by people is always shouted down (and accused of being a daily mail reader) so why is this poster being supported?
those working and claiming benefits are the people that give all claimants a bad name.
It seems on many threads that some of you dont believe the benefit system is ever abused, but here is somebody that admits to playing the system and she is still applauded.
i just dont understand.

I've been on Income Support a couple of times for short periods of unemployment. Worked a few hours as £15 was allowed to be earned at the time.

I had to claim on my mortgage insurance so that would have been equivalent to getting rent paid. TBH I didnt struggle that much, managed ok, but had no travel costs and it was for approx 5 months at a time.

I think the OP should listen to Fillyjonk who gave some very good advice from the inside. Just declare it as you are probably not committing fraud. I personally would never have earned more than permissible as I would'nt have put myself if a vulnerable position of being dobbed in.

No one seems conserned that op, dc's father isn't paying maintenence - or is that ok that he leaves debts and moves on as a free spirit?

Not one post is concerned about the fact the NRP has short arms and long pockets and is happy for others to fund the upbringing of his child.

Resident parents get shouted down but not the non paying resident parent, oh no not a blardy mention......

Are you saying that justifies non-declaration of income, ivy?

interested to see ScroungingSingleMum set up thread and has not reappeared for 16 hours As I also pointed out if she has 8 weeks off a year (christmas, easter other womans holidays) she is probably legally entitled to money as average over 52 weeks is £20 so if she does not work those 8 weeks perfectly legit if she does the social will only take about £5 a week off her money and she can hold her head high

He is an arse the NRP but this thread isn't about NRPs it's about someone making the decision to break the law and being proud of that decision.

And I don't know the child any better than her mother - I don't know her at all - not sure where that came from!

It was a sad obsevation, society is happy to come down on a lone parent doing what they see as best for their child. They are told they shouldn't get benifit and make lifestyle choices - but it is ok for the NRP to just flee - is that not a lifestyle choice.

What the op is doing is not tec illegal, there are plenty of loop holes in the taxation system in this country and the benifits system. Moraly is the op doing something wrong by staying within the law and earning extra - something she is entitled to do are we that much of a police state that if it hasn't been declared she should be punished?

weeping

NRP always seem to get a low profile and lets hit on single mothers - easy target.

I had read the whole post and just find it increadable he doesn't get a mention, NRP not paying maintenence doesn't justify breaking laws
. If though NRP was paying his way and supporting his own child the RP wouldn't actually be in the position she is in - would she?

If the CSA managed to get the NRP to pay maintenance they would take most for the government and give the resident parent £10 of it, so no it wouldnt help her much.

Its all well and good to make the NRP pay say £70 per week and hand over £10. If there was no child a person is still entitled to income support anyway if they are unable to work. Claiming for a child is only a small allowance.

I suppose a fair amount of maintenance would make it worthwhile working 16 hours and claiming tax credits etc as all maintenance is kept.

£10 per week - it is roughly the same as she is earning. So it would work out the same for op and the tax payer would also be better of as the father would be supporting his child not the all left to the tax payer.

all this hoo ha over 6 quid?