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Original poster

You know what? I commit "benefit fraud "and I think I'm justified

251 replies

ScroungingSingleMum · 11/04/2008 15:21

I'm a single mum , whose ex left three years ago and has consistently refused to pay anything (and I mean anything - not even a penny) in maintenance.

From my benefits (£59 IS, £45 CTC, £18 CB - so a total of £122 a week) I am losing £15.26 a week in repayments for the loan I had to take out to secure my child and myself a home after ex did a vanishing act and the council refused to house us. Every week I need to pay nearly £15 for gas and electricity (yes, the heating is on a low setting, but we live in a cold rural area and have no double glazing), £4.50 for TV licence, £4 for Water, £8 for phone/internet connection (yes, I know its not a necessity but I have to have some way to get contact with the rest of the world - being on my own in the countryside means I don't get out much), £4.50 every time we need to get the bus into town for shopping/doctor/library/semblance of social life etc, £15 for the taxi home if I need to do a big shop, oh and feed us a healthy diet, clothe/shoe us adequately, find the money to take my child to see ex (I know thats not my job, but if I didn't do it the relationship would be lost which would IMO be a tragedy for my child), I try to save something, however small, so that we have a fallback fund for holidays/birthdays/disasters...

I am entitled to keep £10 of any maintenance ex pays - but he doesn't pay any, so we don't get that premium.

I refuse to get into debt (other than the Budgeting Loan from the Social Fund that I have) and we do not have a car, or a big new telly (we have one that I found in a skip in fact). I economise wherever I can but its very very hard.

So... I clean the old lady three-doors-down's house for four hours a week for £6 an hour. It means I can have a bottle of wine once in a while, or a coffee before getting the bus 6 miles home after a morning luging the shopping round town, or have a friend over for a meal sometimes, or buy new (by which I mean secondhand-but-new-to-me) clothes every now and then.

And you know what? If you begrudge me that then fuck you.

OP posts:
pointydog · 11/04/2008 17:51

and bb's entitled to her opinion. She's stated it quite calmly

Mamazon · 11/04/2008 17:52

My problemis that it compounds the opinion of some of society about single mothers who are scrounging on the dole.
the daily mail readers who believe we are all just lazy slappers who pro create to get a council house and a work free pay cheque.

I am tired of feeling the need to justify myself and other women who claim benefits because they are single with children.

yes we do need to be squeaky clean. like the first women in any role they need to be better at the job than their male coutnerparts to recieve the same amount of respect...the only way we will turn around societies prejudices about us is to prove them wrong.

so when someone publicly rants that despite having the oppertunity not to rely on benefits they not only do not take it but also defraud the system (however small) then yes i do feel a bit saddened.

policywonk · 11/04/2008 17:52

Out of interest, bb and ScienceTeacher - would you have the same response to someone who chose to give up work and claim carer's allowance (what a joke that is) while caring for a loved one who had become ill?

bb99 · 11/04/2008 17:52

Policywonk, yes, I agree with you.

expatinscotland · 11/04/2008 17:52

no one's saying otherwise, pointy.

Lauriefairycake · 11/04/2008 17:52

I think that the definition of 'work' is too stringently applied instead it should be about contribution to society.

And for me that includes voluntary work/raising children/caring for relatives

CrackerOfNuts · 11/04/2008 17:54

I am a lone parent looking for work and I am absolutly terrified that when I do get a job, they will mess up some part of my tax credits or housing benefit and I will end up in a mess.

Thats when someone sees fit to give me a job that is.

I am giving myself another 3mths of looking for work and then I am giving up and applying to college for a fulltime course. That way I can still be available for my kids various school things for another year whilst studying, and I'll feel slightly less guilty.

ScienceTeacher · 11/04/2008 17:56

My statement started out, "if you can work". Without qualifying every little thing wrapped up in these four words, I pretty much considered that someone who cared for a pre-school child or a sick relative would be in the "can't" group.

I think once your youngest child has reached full-time school age, you should do your very best to find a compatible job. There are jobs out there that cater for the school-hours market.

Greensleeves · 11/04/2008 17:56

I'm entitled to mine too, pointydog.

pointydog · 11/04/2008 17:58

I know, I just feel bb's getting a belting for no real reason. I know that's the nature of a message board, though

policywonk · 11/04/2008 17:58

Fair enough ST - although I still don't particularly agree that everyone who can 'work' (by which I assume you mean paid employment), should. As Laurie says, those who don't do paid work can make enormous contributions to society. (Not that they always do, of course.)

CrackerOfNuts · 11/04/2008 17:59

There are Scienceteacher, but they are very few and far between. I have been job hunting for over a year, on my own and with help from the jobcenter, yet I haven't had one single interview.

Blandmum · 11/04/2008 17:59

lauriefarycake

you said

'Family members/carers save the NHS more than 5 billion per year apparently '

Probably even more than that since those being cared for are probably a lot happier being at home than being cared for within the NHS

policywonk · 11/04/2008 18:00

Actually I rather agree with bb's universal flat-rate proposal.

pointydog · 11/04/2008 18:01

Yes, people who don't work can make great contributions to society. The need to earn a crust will always come first, though

Greensleeves · 11/04/2008 18:01

I tend not to post for 'no real reason' But what seems like a good reason to me might mean nothing to you. Hey ho, public message boards.

I found "be more than a benefit mummy" offensive. It must feel quite bad enough to have to bring your children up without the treats etc that you would like to lavish on them, without having your nose rubbed in it by snobbery like that.

And it's depressing that bringing up your own child in person is regarded as sitting on your arse doing nothing.

bb99 · 11/04/2008 18:02

mamazon - completely agree, and there are plenty of people who do scrounge the system - I used to know so many of them so well...we need to break the stereotypical image of the single mommy (pram face etc) in order to break peoples negative perceptions of single parents IMO, hence why I am so passionate about enabling single parents to work. It's the only way to break the popular talk show image of benefit system claimant.

It's really easy to find reasons NOT to do something, and anyone I could find who I could trust looked after my dc - didn't do all the shifts at once , worked through and up the system. I did feel more of a person once I went back to work (not the same for all I know) And I was dead prickly about benefits when I was on them, because I felt as though I was a sponger, and I could dress it up any way I wanted to in my head, I still felt if I could work, I had a responsibility TO work. Raised with a strong work ethic - this doesn't mean I'm a snob, just that I'm honest about how shit embarrassed I was about being on benefits when I was on them - used to look on in shame at disabled people or people I knew were careers as I felt I was stealing from them...

Possibly why people get so uptight, even if they say they feel justified.

Maybe because I felt so much better about the whole world when I started working, I project too much onto others and want them to have the same feelings of self worth, even though it's not everyone's cup of tea

eekamoose · 11/04/2008 18:04

I've read the whole thread.

I don't begrudge the OP her extra few pounds a week, not at all. Good on her for going out and earning it. In the past, in wealthier times, I've employed cleaners. I don't suppose for one moment they were declaring their income and I'm sure some of them were on benefits. If you pay cash in hand to cleaners/gardeners/childminders (those judgey ones amongst you) then you are partaking in the "fraud" too.

TBH I've thought about doing 1 or 2 cleaning jobs myself, even though my DH earns enough money to support us all, its just that there's never any money left at the end of the month for holidays or savings or to make any improvements to our really very shabby house.

The only bone of contention I really have with this thread is the notion that home educating "is the best possible education". I don't accept that at all.

bb99 · 11/04/2008 18:05

Greensleeves, we actually agree on more than one point, BUT as a former benefit mummy, I feel I have every right to express myself in this manner and you have every right to get offended....

expatinscotland · 11/04/2008 18:05

Some people don't have 'anyone they can trust' to look after their kids, though.

Lauriefairycake · 11/04/2008 18:06

Nope, it's only the "best possible education" choice for her child

I wouldn't need that for mine.

expatinscotland · 11/04/2008 18:07

I honestly can't believe some of the comments on here.

From people whom, I wonder if they'd swap their lives for being a lone parent?

I know I wouldn't want to.

CrackerOfNuts · 11/04/2008 18:08

I'd certainly never wish it upon anyone Expat. It's the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and a whole lot harder than I ever thought it could be.

ScienceTeacher · 11/04/2008 18:08

I don't think anyone is advocating swapping their lives, EiS

bb99 · 11/04/2008 18:09

True Expat - that's why I think there should be more support, funded nursery places / childcare for all. Even up the playing field a bit.

I just remember how awful I felt when I claimed benefits and how good it was to get back to work - would like others to experience the same feelings of value and self worth.