27 and berated for not driving?

[Doglover321]

Hi guys! I’m 27 and don’t drive. I have never taken lessons, mostly because I could never afford them (I was a Uni student for a long time!), but also because I’ve always lived very near a train station/have always been very happy to use public transport. I don’t demand lifts or anything. However, my mum keeps berating me for not driving despite me saying I’m not ready (I’m now very nervous having left it so long!) and I still can’t afford lessons. I’m actually unemployed until my DBS comes back and she’s not willing to pay for even one lesson. She could pay for lessons (she’s a very high earner!), but has said no because her parents didn’t pay for her lessons and she feels resentful, yet she just won’t stop berating me for not having taken lessons.

Any others who don’t drive yet? Any thoughts? I just feel like it should be personal choice, not something you’re made to feel bad about.

I’m a driving instructor, learning to drive isn’t an easy process, it’s a rewarding one but it takes commitment and hard work. If you’re not motivated then don’t do lessons. Sounds like you have an incredibly good public transport network. So long as you stay urban there’s no need.

I teach out in rural Kent where the bus services are being cut continually. It’s pretty vital to drive out here and most people have the motivation because of that.

To those saying about age, I’m currently teaching a 47 year old who’s pretty good. It’s never too late to learn.

@Doglover321 if your mum really wanted you to learn to drive she would have paid for lessons.

I suspect that the non drivers on this thread have the luxury of decent public transport where they live.

We don't. Hourly trains and hourly buses to the nearest town, and no buses between the villages or to the hospital.

That said, we wouldn't have moved here if we didn't drive. My commute to work by car is just over half an hour. It just isn't feasible on public transport as it is two trains and a bus, and takes 2 hours.

I suspect that the non drivers on this thread have the luxury of decent public transport where they live.

Yes. One of my main reasons for moving to London was that I could manage without being able to drive.

I didn't learn to drive until I moved out of London. We would have found it very difficult going to university open days (train strikes), taking DD to and from university and subsequent flat moves if neither if us could drive.

FREEDOM

Driving gives you a sense of independence. You will never be a dependent upon anyone to get you or your children from one place to another.

Just to add, dont be nervous about giving driving a try. IT IS scary at first but your instructor will have dual controls and will get you out of trouble if needed

Your first lesson will be learning how arrange mirrors and seats, how to start the car, get it moving and stop ( mostly depending on length of lesson ) Next you learn how to accelerate and gear change, seriously , no decent instructor is going to take you through the stages until they think you are ready

I have colleagues and friends who have never learned to drive and being rural are reliant on lifts and goodwill. I have friends who have tried, didnt get on with it and decided not to try again and I have the young colleagues learning, One lass just passed on her 8th attempt,

Anyone can be taught, its finding the right instructor

I learnt at about your age, spent literally thousands on it, but always hated it and was dreadful. No spatial awareness at all. Drove for a couple of years after passing my test but always dreaded it and found it really stressful, so stopped. Not driven in maybe 15 or so years now and wish I'd not wasted the money on lessons. Yes people do judge but I'm sure they're safer with me off the road!!

I think as long as your not asking people for lifts all the time then not driving isn't a problem.

I was 30 when I passed my test, it completely changed my life- it's so much easier now.
I look at my friends and how they have to wait for there partners/ parents/me to take them shopping, and I think I couldn't go back to that.

I passed my test at the very end of 2021, on something like the 11th Jan I tested positive for COVID on a lateral flow test, and I remember the utter freedom I felt of being able to book a PCR test and just get in the car and go, I didn't have to worry about passing my COVID germs onto anyone else- I did have COVID and I tested positive for bloody ages. So that was the end of my freedom for a while 😂