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Original poster

'House minding ettiquette' Can I ask them NOT to shag in my bed?!

29 replies

Disenchanted · 27/03/2008 12:28

Seriously am feeling uneasy about it. Not just the shagging but the 'couple in my bed sleeping' thing also.

Her DP has serious ahem ... perspiration problems and their bedroom stinks, really bad.

Eek!

OP posts:
3NAB · 27/03/2008 12:29

Get someone else to mind your house.

Original poster
Disenchanted · 27/03/2008 12:30

I can't, no one else to do it.

Even if I did then that person would be in my bed still.

Hmmm, its not my sister it him.

OP posts:
suzywong · 27/03/2008 12:30

well if you prevent them from shagging in your bed I'd give your kitchen table a VERY good wipe down on your return.

hecate · 27/03/2008 12:30

you can ask, but I have no doubt they'll ignore you.

VanillaPumpkin · 27/03/2008 12:30

Er no. Sorry.
Do you have a spare double bed perhaps????

Original poster
Disenchanted · 27/03/2008 12:31

Urghh Jesus Suzy! Please don't!

OP posts:
3NAB · 27/03/2008 12:31

I don't think you can ask them not to shag in your bed but it sounds like you just don't want him in your bed full stop.

oregonianabroad · 27/03/2008 12:32

Just get a new mattress protector and try not to think about it.

Original poster
Disenchanted · 27/03/2008 12:34

OK then, would it be very rude to ask the sheets be put in the wash on the morning of the day we return?

OP posts:
suzywong · 27/03/2008 12:35

God, no.
Who in their right mind would not wash bed linen at the end of a stay.

PotPourri · 27/03/2008 12:36

If you don't want them in your bed, then I think you need to find another solution - can you just ask them to pop round every few days to water the plants/move the mail etc?

I think it is reasonable to jokingly say - 'erm, no shaggin in my bed' - but it sounds like you don't want your sisters DP in your bed at all, if he stinks.

How about getting a couple of matress protectors, and thick sheet and quilt set (even put another quilt set underneath)- that way you can take the whole lot and boil wash it when you get back - and the stench and other stuff will never have got near your stuff.

alternatively, you could buy new bedding for when you get back, adn keep that quilt etc in teh cupboard for any future stays....

I do sympathise with the concerns over smelly BILs btw. It's vile - but what can you do?? Lateral thinking is the only option

Original poster
Disenchanted · 27/03/2008 12:36

Well they live with my mum (who does most things for them) and I really don't think it would occour to them to to it without me asking!

Is that a 'God no' dont ask.

Or 'god no' its NOT rude to ask?

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Original poster
Disenchanted · 27/03/2008 12:38

He smokes alot of weed and it makes him sweat a 'weedy' smell

Oh Ill put old sheets the night before I go away and get my fresh ones ready for when I come home and ask hewr to put the 'old' sheets in the wash that morning.

I bet it still stinks though.

OP posts:
suzywong · 27/03/2008 12:38

it's a "God, No" it's only right that you demand they wash the sheets.

Original poster
Disenchanted · 27/03/2008 12:41

Oh good, thanks!

OP posts:
fluffyanimal · 27/03/2008 12:42

I think if they are doing you a favour then TBH you need to put up with it. If you do ask them to change the bed, can you do it in a way that suggests, e.g., you'll be back late and too tired to change the bed so would they mind stripping it and putting the laundry on. You don't want to give even the slightest hint that this is about his hygiene problem.

After all, if they came to visit you, would you expect them to strip their bed on the day they left? I don't expect my visitors to do that...

zippitippitoes · 27/03/2008 12:42

why di you need house minders cant you just lock the door and leave it empty

Original poster
Disenchanted · 27/03/2008 12:44

I need house minders because my area isn't very nice and if anyone noticed it wasn't occupied at night Im 90% sure we would be robbed!

Also my sister lives with my mum and family and she has a young baby and I thought it would be nice for them to have a 'house of their own' for a few days.

OP posts:
PotPourri · 27/03/2008 12:50

I do expect visitors to strip the bed after them. I have only recently come across people who didn't you see, and was amazed. Putting it in the machine is a step further than I would expect mind you, so I think fluffy's approach would cover that

EiWishFor3MoreWishes · 27/03/2008 12:58

i would buy a good matress protector (or rubber sheets) and put old bedding out for them to use. i had this problem last year when we took DD camping. my BIL and his GF house sat for us (and cat sat) and they are not house trained in cleaning etc so i got the house sparkling and changed the bedding to some older ones and put the newer ones away for when we got home. i knew thew wouldnt change the bedding (or hoover up) so i prepared myself and tried not to think about the 'in the bed' thing. TBH i would rather they shagged in the bed on old sheets than on my new couch or kitchen worktops so it depends on what is the lesser of the 2 evils
xx ei xx

BearMama · 27/03/2008 12:59

In a similar situation i put on the oldest bedding i could get away with and bought a cheapo duvet from Asda and cheap pillows. They cant complain when its all clean.

I actually locked the nice bedding away so they couldnt soil it

3NAB · 27/03/2008 13:20

Could you ask your Mum to have a word with them about being grown up and considerate when staying in someone else's house?

Your sis could have got used to her husbands smell.

I hope he doesn't smoke around the baby.

Original poster
Disenchanted · 27/03/2008 23:25

Im going to ask MIL to keep an eye on the house instead, I can't cope with it.

OP posts:
BBBee · 27/03/2008 23:36

where aare you staying when away - are you going to refrain?

Original poster
Disenchanted · 27/03/2008 23:37

Huh? Refrain?

We are in a apartment.

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