I'm about to turn 40 but look very young

[motherhood2019]

I'm about to turn 40 but I feel embarrassed to tell anyone as I look very young. I have always looked young so I'm fed up of the responses like "you don't look it", "I can't believe that" etc. They think they're being flattering but it really gets me down. I have a small face and generally petite. Any tips or advice?

I know this is a lovely problem to have but I'm also 39 and I have a job where I have to be extremely serious and responsible and make highly significant decisions that affect people's lives - every single time I do this job I get several comments about looking too young or not being experienced enough. I've been working in the profession almost 20 years. It's very tiresome. I've not got any greys yet and have good skin, and it's entirely genetic. Being mixed race helps. My mum is mid 70s and looks mid 50s. My dad only went grey in his late 60s.
I'm also only 5ft and look like I'm playing dress-up in a suit.
It's hard enough being taken seriously as a mixed race woman.

This is the most contradictory thing I've seen in a while. It's not that rare at all to look a lot younger but at the same time everyone looks within 5 years of their age?

Not forgetting the emphasis that "no one ever looks more than a decade younger than their age" ...except you, who looked 27 at 40.

Ain't gonna happen

I love these threads. Does anyone remember the one started by a teacher who was 60 and whose colleagues thought she was in her 20s? That was a good one. Also another one where the poster took her 12 year old daughter to the doctor and the doc didn't know who was the daughter 😂

@motherhood2019 are you going to post a photo?

I had similar problems, OP, so I feel your youthful pain. A few years ago I was ID’d when buying alcohol in the United States. I was incredibly flattered, as you can imagine! I thanked the young lad who was serving me profusely and, while proffering my passport, told him I was actually 43 & waited for the lovely compliments to flow. He replied “Yeah, ma’am, I know. We just have to ask everyone. You look about the same age as my mom”.

Funny how the majority of people are utterly convinced they look younger than their age.

i'm 43 and get asked for ID all the time because i'm very petite and have chubby cheeks but jeez when i don't get asked for ID i'm offended take it as a compliment

@MuggedByReality 😂ouch! My son said similar - when he was a uni student he worked at Sainsburys and just asked for ID randomly to fill quotas. He said it often made people's day!
I'm sure you look young and lovely anyway.....

Some quality humble brags on here.

To be honest, whenever anyone over 25 tells me their age I say they don't look it. It's just polite, and I think most people do this?

Yes, because when someone asks you, it would be a bit devastating to be told the truth. Like when folks on here do that "how old do I look" malarkey.
It always veers between 26-68.

I don't mean it in a nasty way, but don't worry it probably won't last all that long. I had always looked a lot younger than I was. People used to be surprised at my age to the point they'd comment on that, up until I was getting close to 40 but I'm 46 now and although I look young-ish, FWIW, I am definitely looking closer to my age and I've noticed people have stopped commenting that they imagined I was younger and I'm fine with that.

I think that main thing that will help you is not feeling awkward about your age - it is what it is. 40 isn't actually old anymore, despite 20-somethings wailing about getting close to 30 being awful. You're probably not even half way through your career.

I think we need a photo OP...!
Age is in the eye of the beholder after all.

I'm 40 and I look much younger. I even got ID'd at the supermarket buying wine not that long ago.
Then the cashier (12) said 'that always gives older people a laugh'. 🙄

Yep deniers gonna deny but this was me too. My whole life up until I was about 53 - then I realised people had stopped being surprised at my age 😂
The gene lottery luck finally ran out and I started getting baggy skin round my eyes. I still don't really have wrinkles but there's a difference now - that glow of youth has gone. I blame it on sun damage 😢

I'm 41 and at 2 recent concerts my son's 18 year old mates thought I was his sister 🤣🤣 I was made up!

Younger or older sister 😉?

I've always looked younger than my age. I'm now 51 and starting to get a bit sick of the 'you don't look it' comment. I feel it's kind of implying women over 50 should look a bit shit. Perhaps I am overthinking.

Don’t worry - it’s all downhill from 40! You’ll have bags and fine lines in no time

Dare I do a reverse humble brag. I'm not even 60 and people keep trying to give me discounted tickets and the like because they assume I'm a senior

This is my favourite post on Mumsnet (followed by the Sistine Chapel Screamer)

What a silly problem to have .

I went through a phase of looking younger and I did enjoy that. If it affects your confidence then I guess we have no right to belittle that. Maybe it's the same as being told you're so slim ( which I really dislike because I prefer a bit more padding and can't keep it on due to health issues).

I'm mid 40s now and some kids recently asked their mum if I was so and so's granny. 🤷‍♀️

Yeah I think I preferred it when I was mistaken for looking younger 😬😆