Please can I have your top tips for not taking life too seriously? What do you do that stops you getting serious and helps with happiness?

[WideWebWitch]

I am aware that one of my faults is that I can take life a bit too seriously. I do have a sense of humour, definitely, and I can say "fk it" and have blow outs involving skiiving off work/staying up late and stuff like that but I am aware that sometimes I need to lighten up and remind myself that life is supposed to be fun too.

What do you do to have fun and if you are similar, how do you stop yourself taking it all too seriously?

(I have mega stressful commute atm, which isn't helping, but even without that I know I sometimes can feel humourless.)

Any and all suggestions welcomed, thanks.

I agree about spending time with or finding friends who make you laugh. It's not terribly helpful probably but one thing I really appreciate about my DP is that he's massively oriented to just enjoying life in the moment. He puts a huge value on that, which sometimes I find a tad shallow (I mean, why doesn't he worry more about the State of the World? Politics? Issues? etc) but he certainly makes me spend more time just doing things for pleasure and valuing that.

i realise you can't probably just find a lighthearted (if politically shallow) partner but friends like that can be really useful. Friends who take life easily or let their hair down and laugh a lot.

Another thing we do is work out which activities are actually fun for us all as a family and do more of those. E.g. we all like cycling and do a lot of cycle rides, whereas I loathe family swimming sessions so lately we just don't bother with those, worthwhile as it no doubt is.

I am absolutely flabbergasted at the four hour commute . That is just not a sustainable way of life...

Oh darling

Agree totally about finding what works you and NOT doing the stuff that doesn't. Will ponder more. And think of writing about it

www, any chance of a train buddy? I have some colleagues who do a foul l/d commute and they have made good friends on their route. Wine is shared on the way home, people unwind, it acts as a sociable buffer between f*ing work and the full-on demands of home life, without wasting valuable time in the pub/wine bar
You know your chums have been worried about the toll this commute would wreak on you and I hope that boss does pull her finger out.
But there's been some wonderful advice on here already, and some highly accurate comments on what a life-enhancing and generous friend you are in RL
I agree with Blu's "sense of play" - like her, I think, I am lucky to work in a sector where along with great stress, under-resourcing and potential for pretentiousness, there is also a healthy culture of playfulness and inner anarchy
And related to that, tinker's inner pisshead gets me through a lot of interminable meetings
Here are my all-time playful reads for the days when you cannot get monstered in the buffet with MrsS:

William Sutcliffe - Are You Experienced
Giles Smith - Lost in Music
Clive James - Unreliable Memoirs
C & W Grossmith - Diary of a Nobody
Searle & Willans - The Compleet Molesworth
Anthony Buckeridge - Jennings' Little Hut
Linda Smith - I think the nurses are hiding my clothes
Marina Lewycka - A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian
Joe Queenan - If you're talking to me, your career must be in trouble
Wendy Cope - Making Cocoa for Kingsley Amis & Serious Concerns
Kinglsey Amis - Lucky Jim
Martin Amis - The Rachel Papers
Scott Herbert - Dilbert
Matt Groening - My working life in hell

You're doing a great job of making the best of a really crappy situation. Love yourself for it, whenever you have the strength to, because we do XXX

What a lovely thread - though I am so sorry for the horrid situation that inspired it! Fingers crossed for a resolution.

Kindred spirits is my saviour (I can't quite work out the singulars-vs-plurals grammar there, but you'll forgive me). I spent today's commute with ds's great friend's mum, discussing Eliot Spitzer & making lovely use of terms like hubris and whited sepulchre.

What a very apposite cross-post with Marina - a commute buddy is exactly what I was describing.

What train do you get in the evening, WWW? Are you in first class?

Oh thank you for these other suggestions! I don't listen to music so that's no good and there's no time to cycle (although I walk to TCR sometimes but it takes too long really) Marina, thank you, looking at your list:

William Sutcliffe - Are You Experienced, have this somewhere, enjoyed thoroughly, must find and re read
Giles Smith - Lost in Music - will look for
Clive James - Unreliable Memoirs, have somewhere
C & W Grossmith - Diary of a Nobody, will look for
Searle & Willans - The Compleet Molesworth, dutto
Anthony Buckeridge - Jennings' Little Hut ok
Linda Smith - I think the nurses are hiding my clothes ol
Marina Lewycka - A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian really don't fancy, not sure why
Joe Queenan - If you're talking to me, your career must be in trouble ok, sounds good it it Toby Young type stuff? I liked how to lose friends and sound of no hands clapping
Wendy Cope - Making Cocoa for Kingsley Amis & Serious Concerns I have this, must find it
Kinglsey Amis - Lucky Jim, maybe
Martin Amis - The Rachel Papers, maybe
Scott Herbert - Dilbert maybe
Matt Groening - My working life in hell will look for

I have a train buddy, sort of, we quite often get te same train and she is v nice, we text each other and email and I like her. not soul mates but we do find plenty to talk about. However, she's done her bacj in so working from home tih sweek

I am going for renegotiating for more money PLUS reduced hours and I want it by next week or I'm leaving. I miss my children too but next week is 1 day from home, 3 in office, bank hol; following week is 1 bank hol, 1 day off, 3 in office so I can stick tomorrow based on that making the next few weeks easier.

Thanks for all these suggestions, I've read all of them and there are some v useful things here, thank you.

MrsS, I am in first class, not that it makes much difference on shitty crap shit London Midland shite trains. Apparently the directors are at Euston one day to get feedback, I've got some fking feedback, I can tell you, starting with NO LOOS on the old trains (and most of them are old as you'll know).

Well, sometimes I get the 17:55, if I miss that I get the 18.23 or, if I work til 6 as I have been this week, I usually arrive on the concourse just as the 18.49 is pulling away...

So I then will wait til the 19.40, which is the first virgin fast one. We should meet for a drink shouldn't we?

Joe Queenan writes on films and is scathingly funny, www, you'll love him.
Sort of Anthony Bourdain on movies.
Giles Smith is our age and very funny about the pop heroes of our teen years
Have been thinking of you all day X

Good thread.

And, www, you are indeed lovely. Anyone who can ring someone up, never having spoken to them before, proceed to demolish a bottle of wine while chatting, then say "sorry...I have to go for a wee" and takes the phone with them definitely has the capacity to not take life too seriously

(hoping you know I'm marthamoo!)

lol yes, I know you're Moo, ha ha, gosh, I'd forgoteen, I was BESIDE myself with worry about ds;s behaviour, seems a lifetime ago, we lived in Bristol then, so 2003/4, blimey, FOUR years thank you moo xx (and how about the wine!)

Marina, I love Bourdain as you know so I will try Joe Queenan, thank you xx

It never is four years...bugger me

I think it's okay to be serious too though [serious emoticon] It is just knowing when to stop isn't it?

It sounds hard WWW. You could try smiling? I do that when I'm feeling too grey and draggy, I walk about smiling. It does help for some reason.

Also you need something lovely for the commute. Whether it's a great book, or a magazine, or even just a green, crisp, perfect apple. And you have to consider the apple, and enjoy eating it and smile.

There. Commuting - sensual pleasure - inane smiling.

I'm sure that's been a great help

I am usually on 1755, WWW, unless I run like mad and manage to throw myself onto the floor of the 1723 in an ungainly messy pile. I'll CAT you.

Agree old trains are horrible beyond belief. Wine might blur things a bit.

When I'm down, I look at men's arses and award marks out of ten, and then try to see if the face matches the rear end! It's amazing how many great arses have not so great faces - sorry Friday night in Brussels and I've had a couple of beers!

I also imagine winning the lottery and plan what I'd do with the dosh - leg extensions, bottom lift (scaffolding necessary for that one), tummy tuck and get rid of the saddlebag thighs; run riot in the book shop and buy a pair of f**k me stilettos which I'd never wear, but could admire as art. Oh, and I'd go to Antwerp and treat myself to a gorgeous pair of pear shaped diamond earrings.

Thank you scaryteacher and 100x ad MrsS, hmm, how wd you know me? hmmmm

Marina have just ordered the Joe Queenan book so thank you!

And to update the thread I have just negotiated my hours in the office down, my daily rate up and 1 day a week at home so life is on the up! I can live with the commute on this basis, esp as it's a contract.

Thanks to everyone on this thread, some fab advice here. I am also now in the middle of a 5 day break, one of those days with dh and no children and am going to make sure every month or so I have at least one nice thing planned.

Thanks for these great/positive ideas. Need to print this thread, and refer to it frequently!