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Original poster

Cannot do a think with my 5yo and end up bored at home all the f-ing time

31 replies

SerendipitySmiles · 04/08/2023 13:28

I am so fed up and I know it's all me. I can't get my kid out of the house, literally. Unless he wants to do it he won't. At the moment I have two non working days to spent with him and I've come to hate them because we just end up in the house all day. I can't play all this time. The house is a rip, I do nothing I enjoy, I am so pissed of

OP posts:
Original poster
SerendipitySmiles · 04/08/2023 13:34

I honestly don't know how to cope. I feel like I spend every moment parenting, all the time, unless I'm in work then I work but have huge work place anxiety. What the hell is happening to me? I thought I'd never feel like this and sad around my child but i am so worn down that I don't know what to do

OP posts:
UpUpUpU · 04/08/2023 13:37

How old is your child?

Thingsthatgo · 04/08/2023 13:37

What does he do if you say 'put your shoes on, we are going out'?
Does he get loud and shouty? Or run away and hide? If you describe his response and behaviour there might be some useful suggestions to try.

BronwenFrideswide · 04/08/2023 13:39

UpUpUpU · 04/08/2023 13:37

How old is your child?

Read the title of the thread it is in there plain as day.

Original poster
SerendipitySmiles · 04/08/2023 13:39

He's 4.5. Screams, cries, kicks, runs away and then just starts playing. But if I say I'm going out alone, when his dad is around, he cried to stay with me. I am doing something wrong. I'm too strung out to figure it out right now. I can't imagine he gets enough stimulation from playing cars all day, maybe he does

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 04/08/2023 13:41

What is he actually doing at home? Is he playing with his toys? Arts and craft? Dancing to music? Watching tv?
Is he happy?
Does he enjoy his day?
Some people want to be at home doing their “thing”. Is he like that?
Do you need to go out?

Original poster
SerendipitySmiles · 04/08/2023 13:41

Hes happy at Home. It's just me that wants to out

OP posts:
Beamur · 04/08/2023 13:42

What are his interests?
At 5 you can have a conversation about what you're going to do with your time. Sounds like he enjoys time at home, so maybe limit your excursions to one day or a half day.
I think at this age you do have to focus more on what the children like rather than what you enjoy. So going to the park might be good but adding on a shopping trip might mean your DS just doesn't want to go..

ilovesooty · 04/08/2023 13:42

UpUpUpU · 04/08/2023 13:37

How old is your child?

It's in the title.

Needmorelego · 04/08/2023 13:44

What type of things do you want to go out and do? Activities or chore stuff like shopping?

ohtobeme · 04/08/2023 13:45

You need to go out
He screams
You still need to go out
Because now he knows he screams he gets his way

Bribes, choices ( do you want park a or park b )

Don't play with him if he kicks off that's rewarding bad behaviour - don't let him have his way

if he screams so much you need to ignore him - " when you have finished we are going out"
Even if he doesn't stop till tea time just keep waiting and go out when he stops

It's short term very hard on you but you have to push through to get out the other side ( and out the door)

Original poster
SerendipitySmiles · 04/08/2023 13:46

Thank you everyone. I'm just being dramatic. Have a particularly challenging day and just needed to reach out to someone. I'm going to have a coffee, rebalance sand carry on. I love my child. This is all down to me and my attitude. Thank you x

OP posts:
RatherBeRiding · 04/08/2023 13:46

Does he play alone and entertain himself, or is he wanting you to play with him all the time? And what kind of activities are you trying to persuade him out of the house for? Is there anything outside that he would enjoy? I get that you feel like a prisoner in your own home though , however if he's at school during the week maybe he just wants some chill time at home with his toys. If he's happy and occupying himself I'd maybe let this one go for now.

NewNovember · 04/08/2023 13:48

ilovesooty · 04/08/2023 13:42

It's in the title.

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Which is wrong for some reason as he is 4 not 5.

NewNovember · 04/08/2023 13:49

This is easily solved your child is happy at home so just stay at home problem solved.

stopbeingacunt · 04/08/2023 13:50

UpUpUpU · 04/08/2023 13:37

How old is your child?

That's funny 😂 it's in the title

Needmorelego · 04/08/2023 13:50

@SerendipitySmiles I understand what you mean. It can get a bit cabin fever-y.
When my daughter was younger and we would be indoors all day I would often be running out the door the second my husband got home from work with a “oh good you’re home I need to pop to sainsburys to get some bits” but really - I didn’t need anything at all 😂
Enjoy the time to do something you enjoy doing (read a book, do a craft etc) while he is happy with his cars.

NewNovember · 04/08/2023 13:51

stopbeingacunt · 04/08/2023 13:50

That's funny 😂 it's in the title

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It's not though.

ClemmyTine · 04/08/2023 13:53

NewNovember · 04/08/2023 13:51

It's not though.

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It is. Read it.

BigBoysDontCry · 04/08/2023 13:55

If he likes playing with his cars then take a few and go to the park to play with them.

He might end up getting g a play buddy and move on to other things, try to combine e his interests with your need to be out and his need for fresh air and daylight.

I don't think it's healthy not to get out for at least part of the day most days tbh.

stopbeingacunt · 04/08/2023 13:56

NewNovember · 04/08/2023 13:51

It's not though.

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It is funny. There's a big number 5 in the title and she asks how old he is. It tickled me anyway. Sorry you were offended.

stopbeingacunt · 04/08/2023 14:00

OP I do like little treasure hunts with mine, he loves them. Or take really close up photos of a tiny part of your house, an object or plant in the garden - if he finds them all let him chose from a list of things to do the next time You're off together. Also, check out the great days out for kids website. Some fantastic offers. Good luck, it does pass.

DaisyThistle · 04/08/2023 14:01

Two tips that often work with that age group:

1.) Try the technique of giving him two choices both of which suit you. E.g. 'After breakfast let's tidy away the dishes and wipe the table together (give him spoons to carry or a cloth to 'wipe' with) or you can play with your cars while I tidy up.' Both choices allow you to tidy up.
And
'Now we are going into town to buy some bread. Do you want to wear wellies and splash in puddles or do you want to go on your bike?' Both choices get him out the door.

  1. Agree with his emotional response but not his choice. E.g. if he say "Not go into town! you say, 'I know! wouldn't it be lovely to stay all cosy at home and play with cars all day. But we need some bread and cheese So let's go as quick as we can, and you can choose a nice loaf of bread and then we can come home and play with cars.

I tended to pick only the battles that mattered. If they didn't want coats on I carried the coat and they put it on if they got cold.

HalloumiLuvver · 04/08/2023 14:01

NewNovember · 04/08/2023 13:49

This is easily solved your child is happy at home so just stay at home problem solved.

Yes that's right, just completely sacrifice your own mental health, wellbeing and needs as a human as well as long as your child is happy ConfusedHmm.

There's no medal for mummy martyrs and maybe, just maybe, OP would LIKE to go out beyond her own four walls???

MadamWhiteleigh · 04/08/2023 14:04

Straightforward bribery.

We’re going to the park and then to the bakery to buy a cake.

We’re going to the shoe shop and then the library for you to choose a book.

We’re going to the supermarket and you can choose a magazine.