Baby dad.

[megggggg]

My baby dad keeps calling me every day, but he says it's for the kids but he will call when he knows that the kids are at school?
And when I let the kids answer the phone he actually asks the kids to pass the phone to me?
He calls and he will talk about anything or ask about my life?
And I've told him that my new partner doesn't like him calling all the time and he's not happy about it saying that he can call about his kids etc.
he will ring me at least twice during the day whilst he's at work and not with his partner?
He's asked me if my new partner is aware that he's moved on, he's claiming to have moved on but keeps ringing me and stuff ?
Has he actually moved on or is he just saying that?

Do you want him to call? If not, just don't answer anymore. If the kids answer and he asks them to pass you the phone then say you are busy.
It's a bit weird tbh. Why would he want to? Not because he's moved on probably haha

Don’t let your children get involved in these mind games - it’s not fair on them.
What are the arrangements for contact with him?

He has them every weekend which is why I don't see why I needs to ring everyday during week ? He seems then every week

´kids aren’t in, I’ll get them to call you later.’
´sorry I can’t discuss this right now, I’m working/busy/have an appointment. Email me the dates you want the kids (or whatever) and I’ll get back to you’
’bye now.’
Or just set up a cheery ´can’t come to the phone right now’ voicemail and use it.

Just don’t answer.

See it's never about arrangements for the kids he has them every Friday he knows this.. till Sunday?
If it was once a week to see how kids are doing fair enough but it's every day ? But claims he's moved on like it baffles my brain

I've tried not answering he'll ring my little boys phone and ask him to put me on

“mums busy” simple

You’re not trying hard enough to dissuade this, are you sure you don’t like the attention? It’s really not that difficult to avoid these conversations.

Ok when my little boy is getting upset with me because he isn't stupid and he can clearly see I'm not busy. I'm lying to my little boy and he's wondering why I'm not wanting to speak to his dad cause he doesn't understand.

Even if I did the like the attention so what? My question was is he over me or is he just saying that we don't need to go into detail about how I feel. I'm asking advice.

What? My kids wouldn’t even hand me the phone because they know I wouldn’t speak to their father so my kids wouldn’t even bother trying, when they speak to their father I literally make an attempt to make sure I’m busy pottering cleaning etc! It’s not a lie 🙄 I’m always too busy to talk to my ex!

Don’t answer the phone and if he asks the kids to hand over the phone say you are just going to the loo or something. Don’t you get to have any weekend time with your children?

Even if I was sat on the sofa scrolling on my phone I am still too busy to talk to him, I agree sounds like you like the attention.

She doesn’t want to lie apparently

That's you

Sounds like none of you lot are mums advice I was asking why he was ringing me I'm not in the wrong it's not me ringing him I'm simply answering the phone. Definitely won't come on here for advice again

Why do you need to lie to your son? How old is he to have his own phone as he doesn’t sound that little. When your ex calls, and asks to speak to you, just answer the phone and say, ‘sorry now isn’t a good time, text me with the issue and I’ll respond later’.

Keep doing this, don’t engage in conversation, don’t answer any chit chat in texts (how are you, what have you been up to, etc). Answer any question with a short answer (‘what time shall I pick up’, ‘1500’), etc. Stop engaging with him, he will soon get bored.

If the kids are not there & in school you don't answer,if the kids hand you the phone it's simple say sorry I'm busy & hand it back or hang up, my ex has tried this & the minute he tries to say anything that is not relating to our kids it's ok then bye

He’s still ringing probably as some form of control. He maybe doesn’t like it that you have moved on and he is trying to make you think you are still answerable to him

I think I've not really picked up on it till now that it could be a problem we haven't been down each others throats I've tried to make it as civil and friendly as possible for the kids benefit if anything so I've not really thought maybe there's something more to it on his behalf I've just spoke to him to keep him sweet and stick to our arrangements.
It's not as easy as some people make out he was a narcissist aswell. And it's only been a year since we split.

How old is your son?

11 but he doesn't particularly deal well with his emotions

If he is struggling emotionally then it must be difficult for him to have his dad calling him like that.

Yep and I've tried telling him.