My inlaws are stingy people. They have a very warped sense of what spending excessively is. In their eyes anything beyond frugal living is excessive.
My DH are not materialistic people but when we do buy something (say somethimg long lasting like a breadmaker) we buy the best quality we can afford.
I am a SAHM, my dh is a public sector worker and we live in the very expensive South East. We bought our house 2 years ago and missed out buying at the beginning of the boom. If we'd bought 18 months earlier I guess we'd be in a very different position.
30 years ago, my dh's profession was well respected and well-paid in comparison to other jobs, but all things being relative, he's well enough paid that we don't suffer anything near poverty, but we're never going to be the richest people on the block.
But, I don't think my inlaws are intune with relativety. They are obviously proud of their son and his chosen profession. However, they don't seem to realise that, whilst we are still able to buy mobile phones, have a monthly meal out, buy our dd new clothes (as well as nearly new) and have a modest annual holiday, we're actually not very big spenders in comparison to a double waged couple with no kids, or two parents who work in the field of IT (for example)
All we really want out of life is to live in a better area in a slightly bigger house. We don't want 3 foreign holidays a year or a bug 4X4 in the drive or to be able to cloth our dd from miniboden.
My inlaws live in a large house in the most expensive home county. They are just retired. They don't appear to spend much money. They eat food beyond its use-by-date, they buy second hand at the detriment of choice/quality, they hardly ever go on holiday, they don't even spend much money on their lovely house. But, they're from the generation when they struggled. They brought up 4 children in a small house and they didn't have spare cash for holidays and their children didn't have new clothes and toys and blah blah blah.
Dh's 3 siblings are older, single and childless (and will remain that way) so I cannot understand why they won't do more to help us give their only grandchild a better start in life. Why not let us have some of our inheritance now... why are they saving it up in the bank. I wouldn't mind if they actually spent it and enjoyed themselves but I just don't get it.
My children will probably benefit hugely in the future from their grandparents but I think it is better that the money is spent now to provide my daughter with a bigger house and better quality of life than being presented to her as a lumpsum in her teens or 20s when she could do more damage with the money.
If they won't put their hands in their pocket to help us out, I wish they could at least be supportive instead of making sniping remarks about how many clothes my dd has (she does NOT in comparison to thers) how many toys she has, how they coped fine without a baby back carrier. ARGH!
They probably think it is character building to struggle.
Sorry - I just had to vent!