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Original poster

Valentines day - what a load of rubbish

81 replies

mrsruffallo · 13/02/2008 19:32

Tacky, sleazy, only celebrated by those in dysfunctional relationships. DP and I never celebrate it- but have been called cynical and unromantic.
Does anyone celebrate it all?

OP posts:
brokenheartedvalentine · 14/02/2008 23:40

I think it stinks this year .

next year may be different.

blousy · 14/02/2008 23:42

I too am a bit at the dysfunctional relationship comment! I have been married for almost 13 years, am still madly in love and think Valentine's day is just a good excuse for some extra romance. Bah humbug to you op! I'm off for some sex with my gorgeous dh!

aefondkiss · 14/02/2008 23:48

I like your name fromgirders... I used to drink irn bru in my hangover days, loved the adverts, but I grew out of it and got poncey!

I don't think I could drink it now

I would rather ignore valentine's day.. my dh wrote a message on the bathroom mirror with soap( which I spotted when I was cleaning shit off our beautiful son who has asd), he bought me chocs, flowers and wine.. I had one of the most unromantic days of my life... I love my dh but I would rather he expressed his love for me on any other day of the year - I did nothing romantic for dh today.

Dropdeadfred · 15/02/2008 09:15

why can't he do both aefondkiss?

Peachy · 15/02/2008 09:32

My relationship isn't dysfunctional and we gor engaged on valentines day (and before you yell cheesy- so? And what was I supposed to do, say sorry no you're the love of my life, my sould mate etc but you proposed on a fday MN will consider unsuitable therefore I have to decline ) so it's a double celebration for us.

As it happened, last night was the first CValentines we spent apart, as DH was at work. however in these hectic days I see no harm in a date reminding us that we need to remember each other- with non-sleeping kids, a Dh that works nights etc it would be far too easy to forget that sadly.

Besides there's ultimately nothing wrong with celebrating having someone you love very much. if you choose not to do that then fine- your choice. But that doesn't autoomaticlly make those of us who make the opposite choice wrong, surely? Especially as Dh and I have had some right royal muck thrown at us over the years and statistically shouldn't actually be together any more.

Our valentines is tonight, apparently. Although I got a lovely bouquet and he got a gift yesterday.

Original poster
mrsruffallo · 15/02/2008 13:59

I never knew people felt so strongly about valentines day!!!!!!!!!
Why so defensive?
I believe romance is a spontaneous, genuine thing not to be expressed at the same time as everyone else due to commercial pressures.
But hey ho, all you sweet mannered ladies who love it, obviuosly makes you all very very happy

OP posts:
Peachy · 15/02/2008 14:31

Why defensive?

erm, being called dysfunctional???

madamez · 15/02/2008 14:34

I can;t say I bother with it these days - when I was younger I used to quite enjoy choosing and sending cards but the idea was to cause mischeif not fall in lurrrve.
Mind you I forget birthdays, too, sometimes including my own.

Dropdeadfred · 15/02/2008 14:58

Mrs Ruffallo...luckily our dp's do this as a bonus, not instead of doing it spontaneously throught out the year...

Jeez do you not buy Easter Eggs or Christmas presents at a designated time either?

Original poster
mrsruffallo · 15/02/2008 17:56

DDF-What a stupid remark. Of course we celebrate easter and Christmas. Do you really equate Valentines day to Christmas?
Wow, that's really wierd

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsruffallo · 15/02/2008 17:57

Peachy - it wasn't personal, I don't know you!
I was stating my opinion and that of a friend who thought I was wrong. She didn't get half as irate as you lot and I actually know her

OP posts:
lazarou · 15/02/2008 17:57

I was going to buy dh something, but then I decided to buy some tops from dorothy perkins instead.
four tops for £27, not bad.

Original poster
mrsruffallo · 15/02/2008 17:58

Our dp's DDF-Who are you the spokesperson for?

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 15/02/2008 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dropdeadfred · 15/02/2008 18:02

Mrs Ruffalo, I think your attitude is really strange. YOU were the one that said that you didn't like to do things just because of commercial pressures...Seeing as Christmas and Easter have both become HUGE ommercial concerns I wondered if you preferred to do your present-swapping and egg-munching at an alternative, more individual date..?

Now seeing as you chose to assume me that I am both in a 'dysfunctional relationship' and now 'stupid' I will use the knowledge of how wrong you are on both those counts to draw my own conclusions about you.....

Enjoy being a misery.

Dropdeadfred · 15/02/2008 18:04

Thanks tmmj..I was beginning to think I had stepped into a parallel universe there where people don't speak the same lingo

Original poster
mrsruffallo · 15/02/2008 18:13

I don't mind people disagreeing with me, but I am rather shocked at being told to fuck off and the like. I don't think I am as confrontational as some of the other posters actually

OP posts:
VictorianSqualor · 15/02/2008 18:14

Dp and I don't 'do' Valentines day, partly because it has no real basis, except some wishy washy poem written by Chaucer years ago and being the day before Gamelion on which you 'choose' your partner so it doesn't exactly hold romantic connotations for me (Peachy, a proposal on V.Day is probably a lot more fitting than a card or flowers etc tbh, as it was the day you chose your love).

Also I can't stand the thought of DP telling me he loves me and buying me a treat of some sort because someone else has told him that is what he has to do on 14th february.

However, I do think it can be a good excuse just to get some couple time, especially if you're busy parents and rarely get that special time together, so I think if people want to celebrate it they should go ahead, just put a bit more thought into it and a bit less cash in the pockets of well advertised card companies.

themildmanneredjanitor · 15/02/2008 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dropdeadfred · 15/02/2008 18:21

I have not told you to fuck off.....but what would i know I'm too stupid to sort out my dysfunctional relationship....

MrsMattie · 15/02/2008 18:22

All I can say to the OP is...Bitttteeeerrrrrrr!!!!!

VictorianSqualor · 15/02/2008 18:25

Kaishay told her to fuck off, which wasn't necessary, though I can see why people wouldn't relish being called dysfunctional.

Original poster
mrsruffallo · 15/02/2008 18:27

I actually didn't pre-conceive that mmj-as I explained in an earlier post I meant it to read as an opinion/tongue in cheek remark.
No, I don't understand anyone getting worked up about it tbh. I don't understand how anyone could feel strongly enough about Valentines Day to get angry.
My main point was the gross marketing of it in the shops.
I feel it is a cynical expoitation of an old tradition as there is not a lot going on between Christmas and Easter.
But obviously it is an important event in some people's lives and they feel strongly about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsruffallo · 15/02/2008 18:29

LOL, I am not bitter at all, just think differently from everyone on here obviously!!
I don't mind, 'tis only the internet

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 15/02/2008 18:31

Mrs Ruffallo - if you had said that you thought we were silly people being exploited by commerical pressure it would have still been a little derisive...but after what my DP and I have been through (and come out of still feeling very strongly about each other) it pissed me off to see myself described, albeit in a sweeping statement, as in a 'dysfunctional relationship'.

However I can accept that my reaction was a perhaps a little OTT.