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Yet another wedding/invitation/baby/children thread

40 replies

Haylstones · 13/02/2008 14:44

We've been invited to a wedding 5 weeks after my due date and would really like to go as it's a very close friend of dh's. He's missing 2 stag dos because of aforementioned due date so we're keen to make an effort to go. The invitation has arrived today and is addressed to us only, no mention of dd (age 4) or the baby.
I know it's been done a thousand times before but what is the etiquette here? Is it bad to ask about bringing baby (not an option to have childcare as I'll be bf)- don't want to put pressure on them or cause any awkwardness, would rather not ask if this is the case.
Are there any other options anyone can think of? It's 350 miles away and we were hoping to tie it in with a visit to family a further 60 miles away so we'll be in the vicinity anyway. Dh could always go alone or maybe MIL could come along [shudder] and do baby/dd stuff in between feeds (although with dd she seemed to be permanently latched on at that stage)
Voices of reason much appreciated, even if it is just to say we're mad to even consider it . We hardly ever get a chance to go anywhere 'nice' together, which is why I'd like to work a way round it.

(No offence will be caused by any comments so bring it on)

OP posts:
MamaG · 13/02/2008 14:49

Just ask them if DC are invited - can't bear all teh tiptoign around!

cornsilk · 13/02/2008 14:50

Obviously you can't go without your new baby! Are you close enough to ring them and find out if children are invited or not?

DualCycloneCod · 13/02/2008 14:50

rign and ask

ProfessorGrammaticus · 13/02/2008 14:51

Can MIL have the 4yo and you take the little one? He/she won't be much of an interruption - unlike the 4yo!

Haylstones · 13/02/2008 14:53

I think dh would be happy to phone/email and ask but I didn't want to make them feel obliged to say yes or say no then feel guilty about it (even though we wouldn't mind). They have 2 young children of their own so it's not a child-free wedding

OP posts:
nailpolish · 13/02/2008 14:53

could 4yr old stay with realtives? itd be like a wee holiday for her - shed get spoiled by relatives - she wouldnt care if she wsa missing out on a wedding - shes only 4. ring and ask if its ok "if you bring your breastfeeding baby". you colud stand outside ceremony and have baby in carrycot or whatever at the recpetion

phone and ask!

my 5 yr old or my 3 yr old would def be excitied to stay at grns for the weekned while we went to a wedding

Buda · 13/02/2008 14:54

I would ring and ask.

Haylstones · 13/02/2008 14:54

4 year old would be beautifully behaved as always but it's the baby I'm more concerned with as I can't leave him behind. And would I really enjoy myself with a newborn attached to me all night?!

OP posts:
DualCycloneCod · 13/02/2008 14:55

you wont feel liek going
oyu haev forogottne how shit it is postntatally

ProfessorGrammaticus · 13/02/2008 14:55

Oh it's not child free? Ring them up then! (Etiquette is, I think, that if your existing child is not on the invitation then she is not invited - but your friends might not know/intend this!) You can hardly NOT take the new one, it sems to me!

Haylstones · 13/02/2008 14:56

Of course it goes without saying that if I did take baby I'd leave the second it started making noise. Dd would be fine with nearby relatives, would have a ball I'm sure

OP posts:
ProfessorGrammaticus · 13/02/2008 14:59

There's your answer then!

Haylstones · 13/02/2008 14:59

Postnatally with dd I was on top form tbh-travelled same distance at same stage on my own to stay with family for a week and had no problems. Appreciate I'll have 2 to take into account but dh will be there this time.
I'm a total control freak and think I'd be OK, I just get on with things as normal...waits for the shock of having 2 to sink in.
Will ask dh to find out- wedding is only 6 weeks away so need to RSVP fairly quickly

OP posts:
nailpolish · 13/02/2008 15:01

oh god yes cod good point

i went to a wedding when dd1 was 8 weeks old and i felt shit. had fuck all to wear except some enormous blue suit - had huge leaky tits and bags under eyes. all the drunk people (inc dh) annoyed the hell out of me

nailpolish · 13/02/2008 15:02

it is a shock going from 1 to 2 - its not twice the work its ten times the work. mind you at elast a 4 yr odl is toilet trained etc

hifi · 13/02/2008 15:09

i didnt have children at mine but allowed bf babies as they didnt cost £29.00 for the meal.

Haylstones · 13/02/2008 15:13

I guess I'll just have to ask, will get dh on the case. I've contacted the hotel to find out if they have any rooms available so that can be taken into account when we're trying to decide what to do.

OP posts:
lailasmum · 13/02/2008 15:27

I am in a very similar situation but luckily my older child was on the invite but not the younger one. The wedding we are going to is in 6 weeks too and I am due tomorrow but new babe wasn't mentioned on invite. We just phoned and asked and it was all fine. I would just phone your friends find out whether they had intended to miss out your older child and new baby or whether it was an oversight so you know what options you actually have.

MotherFunk · 13/02/2008 15:47

Message withdrawn

Dropdeadfred · 13/02/2008 15:53

Its entirely possible that you will go over your due daye and may have a one/two/three week baby....

MotherFunk · 13/02/2008 16:04

Message withdrawn

lailasmum · 13/02/2008 16:08

could easily go 2-3 weeks over her due date before she was induced if she was strong willed. then have a 3-4 week old. Same situation as me but am really looking forward to seeing friends even if all I do is sit in the corner breastfeeding all day.

MotherFunk · 13/02/2008 16:11

Message withdrawn

Dropdeadfred · 13/02/2008 16:13

Motherfunk..I went three weeks over due...

Dropdeadfred · 13/02/2008 16:14

Leaving a bf baby at that age all day could have a really bad effect on your milk supply...

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