Hi all, looking for some advice please.
5 weeks ago I went on a date with a guy and we had a good time. Conversation was easy, had a nice meal and afterwards hung out in his truck listening to music. Turned out we had identical taste in music which was quite cool. He is a very good looking guy and I honestly thought I probably wasn’t his type physically so wasn’t expecting a second date. He is a real live wire, ten years older but hyper and maybe a bit immature. He also seems to still have some baggage around his ex girlfriend having cheated on him. A couple of days after the date I messaged asking if he’d be interested in a second. He responded saying he had a good time and good fun and that I will make someone a good wife but he felt he was too much for me to handle. I responded saying thanks for the honesty and said I probably came off a bit refined as I was nervous so suggested we could meet for a second time before ruling it out. I only suggested this because he said he’d had a good time. I didn’t get a response so took it as a no, moved on and didn’t contact him again.
Last night (5 weeks after date) I posted a story on instagram about a concert I’ve booked tickets to go to. Out of the blue he messaged me about it saying ‘it’ll be a good night’. I asked him if he was going and he said no. He then proceeded to ask how I was and if id been on any more dates. I said I was fine and no, he was the last date I’d been on. He said ‘I had a good evening with you’. He was then just chatting about how a lot of people on online dating only want one thing and I agreed saying it’s sad as I want someone real and genuine. I took the opportunity to apologise for suggesting we have a second date and said I should’ve taken no for no 5 weeks ago when we last spoke. He responded saying I didn’t do anything wrong and he just doesn’t want to lead me on in case we for ‘excited’ and then I ended up thinking he had just used me. I responded asking exactly what he meant by getting ‘excited’ and he just said ‘you know what I mean 😂’. I’m a bit confused by this as he has always said he’s not into casual sec etc so this comment did make me wonder. I then just said I had only meant we meet for a second time and see how it goes. He said we got on fine and had the same taste in music ‘which is hard to find’. He also said he we were both nervous and he’s not a great man for busy places. I bit the bullet and responded saying I didn’t think I was his type physically speaking. He replied saying ‘no, don’t think that’. My last message was just thanking him for being cool about it and how in hindsight I kicked myself after sending the second date suggestion message as it probably came across as a bit desperate. I also said it was just nice to meet a genuinely nice guy. He didn’t reply so now I’m overthinking and in overdrive!!
I am so confused. Part of me thinks he has changed his mind and would like to see me again, and the other thinks he was just having general conversation?
I can’t work him out. I never expected to hear from him again but his comments about having a good evening, the thing about getting ‘excited’, having similar taste in music, being nervous etc etc have baffled me.
I am so wanting to send another message and just say ‘I’m a bit confused, is the only reason you don’t want to see me again out of worry that it won’t work and I’ll think you’ve used me?’ But then I know I run the risk of just coming across as desperate again. Help me please, what do you think he is thinking?
thanks!!