Did your dh/df ask your father for permission to marry you?

[MsHighwater]

I can't get over how many women I know not only whose other half did this but who EXPECTED them to do it.

I've been married 5 years. I'd have been furious if my dh had done it. Am I in the minority?

Oh goodness no. My Dad would have just told Dh to ask me.

I asked DH to because I knew my Dad would like it. He is from an older generation and I wanted them to get off to a good start as they had only met once before.

Not so much an ownership thing, as we were living together with one 4 month old (and another bean which we didn't know about at the time!!),but my DH asked by big brother - mainly out of courtesy and to say - you've been like a dad to her, I'll take care of her now. DB was touched, I was touched, Mom was touched.
I wasn't given away though, DH and I walked down the aisle together!! It was lovely.

We told me parents we were getting married. DH jokingly asked my dad if he needed my permission, Dad asked if it would make any difference if he said no.

DH was a disappointment to my parents ...

Er, no. We only told 2 people we were doing it because we needed them as witneses! Then we sat in the park and phoned our parents etc afterwards It was perfect.

my dh had the sense to ask me first, but had already booked flights up to Edinburgh to ask/tell my parents. It wasn't really 'asking permission', more 'I hope you approve, but we're going to do it anyway'.

As it happens, the first time they met dh my mum said 'right, that's my future son-in-law'

And of course I went down the aisle with my dd! Again, he wasn't giving me to anyone, but just to acknowledge everything he'd done for me up til then. Oh, and he had the key to my chastity belt, obviously.

Maybe "furious" was a bit strong. I think, though, that if he had done so, he wouldn't have been the man I thought he was. He knew he needed no-one's consent but mine to marry me and vice versa (though he has 2 grown up dds who, I'm glad to say, were happy for us both).

In fact, there was no proposal either way. We both just knew from quite early on in our relationship that we would get married without needing to discuss it. I don't even remember who first brought the subject up but it would have been along the lines of when, where and how rather than whether.

I like a lot of the traditions associated with getting married. I just draw the line at most of those that have connotations of the female being the property of, or subservient to, her father or fiance. Thus, my father did escort me down the aisle (I in my long ivory dress) but I vowed to "love, honour and cherish" my groom but not to "obey" him.

I don't know whether our ages had anything to do with it or not. I was over 30 and had been living on my own for several years by then and my dh is 20 years older (OK, 19.5).

My sd's then-bf asked my dh for permission before he asked my sd to marry him. It struck me as anachronistic at the time (but then so had her insistence that HE had to ask HER and not vice versa even though she was dead keen for them to get engaged for ages before he eventually did ask - but that's a whole other discussion).

God no!

dh asked my dad if he minded, which i thought was really sweet of him. but my best and oldest friend (known each other since i was 2 and he was 3) gave me away. dont particularly like either my dad or my stepdad and figured they didnt have the right to.

I'd have hated it - I think it harks back to women being property. If it's just courtesy, then surely the woman should also ask the man's family? My Dad did walk me down the aisle, because he would have been sad not to, but I refused to let him call it "giving me away". Mind you, I hate "Mrs" too.

DH asked my Dad - he knew that I wouldn't say yes unless he had (I'm fairly big on tradition with these things and wanted my Dad's blessing ).

Dowry-wise, Dad had always said he'd sell me for six camels and four bags of wheat. DH did his best and during his speech at our wedding presented my Dad with a pack of Camel cigarettes and a jumbo box of Weetabix I don't know who was most pleasantly stunned - my Dad or me

I'd have chopped his nadger off. I also refused to be "given away".

I walked down the aisle with all my family, mum, dad, brother and sister.

But I did change my name. Go figure.

lol red!

There's a part of me that thinks it would be a respectful gesture to ask my father's (or mother's) permission to marry me, but given the circumstances (living together, had a baby, split up, living together again...) I don't think it's appropriate.

My sister's partner asked our mum for permission to marry her and mum thought it was brilliant that she was asked, even though my sister's partner is a woman. I think it was more of a gesture to ask to be accepted into the family than assume she would be accepted. (That sounds like something from the Godfather!)

No, my dad asked DH to marry me.