Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

Life is so boring

32 replies

stccl15 · 30/07/2022 16:16

I'm 34 yo mum to 3 kids. I've always worked and enjoyed my days at home when I had them but for the past year I've been out of work and im so bored. Everyday is the same, get kids ready for school take them school sit at home all day get them from school cook for them put them to bed go to bed. And repeat except weekends its cook x3 and sit at home all day.

Problem is I have a son who is on the autism spectrum and I have to pick him up from school at random times each day so I can't work, I had to quit my job because of him because I was always having to leave work. I started uni but just cannot be bothered with it anymore at all cause there's no point as im never gonna be able to work anyway

Im fed up of being a maid and a cook its the only point to my life its all I do. I live in a city where there's nothing for kids nothing to do as a family on the weekends, we don't drive and there's nothing in walking distance for us. I've no friends no social life I just exist in my house till someone needs something doing for them.

I just don't know what to do anymore I don't see the point in just sitting here everyday doing nothing.

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 30/07/2022 16:19

Your life sounds incredibly tough, do you think you might have depression as well as all the strains of your every day life?

Mosaic123 · 30/07/2022 16:20

Would it be possible/affordable to learn to drive?

Fritilleries · 30/07/2022 16:21

What is your family doing? Partner?

Original poster
stccl15 · 30/07/2022 16:25

My husband is learning to drive but we would never be able to afford a car if he passes, hes doing it for work.

OP posts:
Original poster
stccl15 · 30/07/2022 16:26

My husband works 6 days a week. He had depression for 15 years and has finally ally got his life on track

OP posts:
Original poster
stccl15 · 30/07/2022 16:27

Yea I probably have. But tbh I've supported my husband through depression for 15 years and seen that no matter the pills or so called help you get offered nothings gonna change im still gonna be sat here everyday day in day out

OP posts:
MrsMoastyToasty · 30/07/2022 16:27

Why are you having to pick him up at random times? Isn't he getting the support he needs?

Original poster
stccl15 · 30/07/2022 16:30

Because he has a meltdown, or runs off or kicks off or escapes school. And yes hes getting the support he needs but nothing I can do in terms of school until they make a desicion to send him back to an SEN school , in September hes only doing 9 till 10 am so no chance to work or do anything with my day

OP posts:
JosephineGH · 30/07/2022 16:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

carefullycourageous · 30/07/2022 16:46

sit at home all day this is the bit you can change

GoldenOmber · 30/07/2022 16:48

Can you move?

Babdoc · 30/07/2022 16:54

What would the school do if you were a single parent who had to work, and couldn’t just drop everything for random pick ups/meltdowns? Surely they would just have to cope?
I ask because when my autistic DD was having problems at high school, and the school phoned me at work, I pointed out I was in the operating theatre, halfway through major surgery with a patient I couldn’t hand over as no colleague was spare. They managed until I finished my working day.
Maybe you need to be less available, OP - it might put pressure on the school to make better arrangements.

Fabswingers · 30/07/2022 17:00

Met downs at school is not a good enough reason not to work…what if you was a single parent?
Your in a rut and enabling others for you and your needs to come bottom of the pile.

Get a job in school hours, they will learn to cope. Start saving and you learn to drive. Join a gym, it gives you more energy.

Do something, or do nothing, it’s your choice, don’t allow others excuses to hinder you anymore.

Original poster
stccl15 · 30/07/2022 17:02

I know I can but my point is there's nowhere to actually go

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 30/07/2022 17:05

Nowhere to go?!

you are not bored you are boring!

tell the school you will not be collecting your son and that you are starting work and will be available for illness only

you need interests, hobbies, look forward clubs etc in your local area

DenholmElliot1 · 30/07/2022 17:06

Go back to uni and study some subject you've always loved. Education isn't just about getting a job afterwards - its' pefectly ok to learn just because you want to know. If i had the chance i'd do an art or drama degree in a heartbeat and the best bit is i'd never have to pay back any fees coz i don't earn enough to qualify! win win situation

Original poster
stccl15 · 30/07/2022 17:08

I have tried to look for a job ins cool hours. All the jobs ins cool hours I am over qualified for and I constantly get turned down for jobs. I understand from your viewpoint how you think it isn't a good enough reason but what your not understanding is when he has a meltdown they try to deal with it when they can't deal with it he will escape school or run off, if they can't get hold of me, they ring the police, who then get hold of me or turn up to work or home with him as thats their duty to ring the police when he has escaped from school.

So when you say it isn't a good enough reason not to work, I CANT work, I worked for 16 years, I had to quit because of how many times I was having to leave work to deal with my son. He went to a short stay sen school and I began working again, however he went back into mainstream school, and the problems have arose again meaning I had to quit my job yet again as my son cannot handle mainstream school and is escaping or running off. It may seem to you like its an excuse , I would much rather be at work.

Also with driving, we don't have spare cash, my husband is paying £60 a week for driving lessons. I can't save up for a car as we are using our spare cash for his lessons so he can move up in work and better himself, affording a car is out of the question at this point in time.

I also joined a gym but again, had to go pick my son up with police calling me or looking for me with my son, so I thankyou for your suggestions but at the moment the issues with my son it really isn't possible.

OP posts:
MistyRock · 30/07/2022 17:09

Quitelikeit · 30/07/2022 17:05

Nowhere to go?!

you are not bored you are boring!

tell the school you will not be collecting your son and that you are starting work and will be available for illness only

you need interests, hobbies, look forward clubs etc in your local area

I agree with this. The school need to learn to cope with him, or he needs to go to a school especially catered for his needs.

MistyRock · 30/07/2022 17:09

Oh hang on. I don't agree that you arw bored because you're boring. No, I omt think that at all. I feel compassion for you.

Original poster
stccl15 · 30/07/2022 17:10

I can't do that lol. The police end up getting him when he escapes and then we are either playing hide and seek or I am having to go meet them to get my son from them.

I have no hobbies no, and no there isn't anywhere to go, if there was id fuxking go there!!

OP posts:
newbiename · 30/07/2022 17:13

Could you do a hobby or part time job when your husband is home ?

Original poster
stccl15 · 30/07/2022 17:13

It isn't that simple. He is in the process of appealing to go to an sen school i cant just put him in one. And like I've explained several times when they can't manage and he goes beyond the point of a meltdown he flights, escapes school and police are called

OP posts:
Original poster
stccl15 · 30/07/2022 17:16

I've been looking for weekend jobs for the last year there's just nothing and on the odd occasion one comes up I am always unsucessful. I'm also looking for evening work but as of yet cant seem to find anything. I want to work so bad its where I had a social life and escape from being a maid and a cleaner and a bouncer , I just can't find anything but am looking everyday.

OP posts:
JosephineGH · 30/07/2022 17:19

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

JaninaDuszejko · 30/07/2022 17:23

Would it be better for you and your husband if you could both work PT around each other so you both get an escape from the pressures of caring for your son. A colleague of mine has 2DC with SEN and her husband and she do this, it works well for rhem.