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Original poster

i need some advice

39 replies

s3xysmiles · 17/01/2008 18:48

first time on here .. got recommened this site through a friend .. the advice im lookin for is for my sisters children .. she had them removed from her care a yr or so ago .. and have been placed with the father and his new wife ...the mother of the childrens dad has told my sister that the eldest boy aged 7 is bein made to eat dog biscuits and givin him cold baths makin him wear pink and wen its cold takin him out in just a T shirt ... my sister heard all this from the kids dad's mother and sister ... i have rung his mother and confirmed to me on phone the same... my sister wants me to fight for her son as there is nothin she can do due to havin them removed from her care awhile back... i would love to take him on and be his carer .. but dont really know wat steps to take ... some advice would be much appreciated ... thank you in advance

OP posts:

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 17/01/2008 18:49

Your sister isn't going to try and fight for her kids?

Original poster

s3xysmiles · 17/01/2008 18:53

she had them removed for reasons of her own .. which that side of things i dont really want to go into .. so i know she wont stand much of a chance gettin them back .. thats why she has turned to me to try help him

OP posts:

Desiderata · 17/01/2008 18:53

Dog biscuits are quite expensive, you know.

Well, you must ring Social Services and explain your problem. I'm sure they'll take it from there.

pukkapatch · 17/01/2008 18:53

obviously there is a great deal of history here.
if the children are being treated like this, then they need to be protected. regardless of whether or not it is there mother who protects them.
if the grandmother is concerned enough about this to tell the mother this, then she should let social services know, so it can be investigated, and the tkids taken car eoff.
how horrible a situation for you all. lots of luck getting it resolved

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 17/01/2008 18:54

I'm sorry, but I can't believe that if someone is feeding your child dog biscuits you aren't raising merry hell.

bonkerz · 17/01/2008 18:57

ring social services. With regards you getting custody TBH i dont think it would happen. My sister gave up her children (long story havent spoken to her in 11 years because of it!) and my sister tried to get custody of the children and due to space etc she was unable to BUT did get respite care with them separate weekends.

lulumama · 17/01/2008 18:59

if what you are being told is true, you must call social services and tell them. they will investigate.

Original poster

s3xysmiles · 17/01/2008 19:00

firstly he is not my child .. he is my sisters .. they all live down south and i am up north way .. so reason i am gettin involed is bcos im confussed bcos i thought the same why didnt the grandmother contact SS

OP posts:

Karen999 · 17/01/2008 19:04

Call Social Services straight away - they have a duty to investigate. To be honest, if I thought for one minute that my child was being subjected to that kind of treatement I would go straight to the police because not only would i want my child removed from that sitation immediately I would also want those responsible prosecuted.

Original poster

s3xysmiles · 17/01/2008 19:07

(To be honest, if I thought for one minute that my child was being subjected to that kind of treatement)......... he is not my child he is my nephew

OP posts:

Karen999 · 17/01/2008 19:09

If I thought my nephew was being subjected to that kind of treatment I would do the same! I realise that he is not your son but even so I would still call SS and the police.....sorry if thats not what you want to hear.

Original poster

s3xysmiles · 17/01/2008 19:13

thank you .. i want to hear all views .. just to give me some idea on which way to go forward with this .. as i love him to come and stay with us .. and i know he would fit in so well as i have a son who will be turnin 7 this may .. but i just want to know if SS would let me take him on or put him though the care system .. which i dont want for him

OP posts:

pukkapatch · 17/01/2008 19:26

my children are also my sisters children. i fully expect everyone of my sisters to fight tooth and nail and claw for the children i gave birth to. if anything happened to me or dh, i would expect my sisters to give up their jobs, careers, even coutnries to take care of these children.
and you know what? they would.

so please stop going on abouthow they are not your kids. as their auntie, you are also morally responsible for their upbringing. maybe not legally, but morally and ethically.

Hallgerda · 17/01/2008 20:30

pukkapatch, I think the OP's point about not being the children's mother but their auntie is over how Social Services would respond to her, not over her feelings towards them. She does want to take them, which implies that she is taking her responsibilites seriously. The grandmother's position is odd, but it cannot be easy to report your own child.

s3xysmiles, I agree with others that you should speak to Social Services, and try to get those more directly involved to do so too. I'm not sure that the police would necessarily do anything immediately, given the problem isn't an immediate danger of physical violence, but I could be wrong there.

Karen999 · 17/01/2008 20:35

I think the police would investigate (at least)if there is an allegation of child abuse.

midnightexpress · 17/01/2008 20:40

Agree with Hallgerda - the op has come on here asking for advice because she's concerned about her nephew - it's not very helpful to jump on her.

s3xysmiles, I think you do have to get social services involved if what you've been told is true, as it amounts to abuse. I understand your concerns about your nephew being taken into care, but even so I don't think you can allow him to be subjected to abusive behaviour.

I hope it all works out for you.

ChorusLine · 17/01/2008 20:42

have you rang yet??

Original poster

s3xysmiles · 17/01/2008 21:52

my nephew was the first child born after my own dads death ... so that boy means the world to me ... my sister was under SS wen she had the children livin with her .. as she wasnt copin to well with bein a young single with 3 children under 6 yrs (at that time ).. and even had her own S WORKER ... i have found out her name and gonna ring that office and see if i cant speak to her about it ... i just hope and pray that .. if they do take him from them .. they let me have him and not go through the care system .. but i do have 4 children of my own 3 girls 1 boy

OP posts:

ChorusLine · 17/01/2008 22:03

please let us know - surely he will be treated better anyhwere than where he is now. You can ring the emergency out of hours this evening

pukkapatch · 18/01/2008 08:40

lots of luck s3xy. let us know when you have any news.

Original poster

s3xysmiles · 18/01/2008 12:04

ive just phoned the granmother again .. and she did ring SS about 2 weeks back .. they went round to investigate and said everything was fine .. i have just rang SS again .. and they have taken my number if they need to contact me again and will let me know the outcome

OP posts:

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 18/01/2008 12:31

Get them to explain why everything was fine. On what grounds, etc etc.

Original poster

s3xysmiles · 18/01/2008 12:39

im guessin cos the father and new wife put on a front and didnt feed him dog biscuits or badly treat him while SS was there ... i think its gonna be a hard 1 .. cos without video proof or something .. wat can ya do ?? ..

OP posts:

OverworkedAndUnderpaid · 18/01/2008 12:50

I'd land at their door unexpectedly is what I would do.

I would ask to speak to my nephew privately. And I would take him out for the day... i'd listen to the child, ask him how he was etc.. ask if he had any fears.

They wouldn't be expecting you, would they? So that's exactly what I would do.

No child of my sister's would get treated this way, whether I had a family the size of the Waltons, I would want my sister's child treated in the best way possible!

Does this child have any brothers or sisters? If so, how are they being treated?

Jesus, I find ot really hard to believe that someone would say the kid is being fed dog biscuits & SS say it's OK!

Original poster

s3xysmiles · 18/01/2008 12:59

its a bit hard for me to land on there door step .. as im up north and he is down south bearin in mind i have 4 children here of my own .. and bein a single mum i am there all ... yes he has 2 other brothers who are younger 6.. and 3 .. those 2 boys are .. im told .. bein treat right .. seems like the eldest is the 1 bein singled out .. i know ppl that have had dealings with SS b4 and found they tent to bark up at the wrong tree .. lettin some ppl get away with wats goin on behind closed doors

OP posts:

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