IM SICK OF GRANNYS STARING AT ME

[Fanargadeb]

im so sick of old women staring at me, im a 19 year old mum and whenever i get on a bus or walking around town they seem to stare at me! my mum and my fiance reckon i was being paranoid untill they was with me the other day. i was going into swansea on the bus cos the traffic was really busy and wouldnt park anywhere if id driven and an old lady was talking to her friend and looked at me then said "thats all you see today is teenage mums, its kids having kids" i was so annoyed that i turned around and said "excuse me, and how old was u wen u had kids" she replied "19 not that its any of your business" addmitted i look about 17/18 but its not there business about me and my 8month old ds. i mean im not your average young mum me and my fiance are both working parents got our own business, having our own house built etc getting married soon and been together for a few years now, i cant see wat their prob is i mean they was married and having kids at my age. its getting really hard to ignore now. people will smile at elwyn in the pram then notice me and look me up and down, im always dressed smart and not totally plastered in makeup, what the hell is everyones problem with young mums? any advice anyone??

ignore the old biddies. everyone thinks their way is best.
Your way is best for you. You go girl.

I get dirty looks off some old people and I'm 38!
Some old fart was muttering at me about single mothers sponging off the state so I told him
"You may be right but since I work full time and have done for the past 21 years apart from 6 months maternity leave, what exactly has that got to do with me?"

at ranting (politely) at him but I was knackered

Be proud, ignore it!

twas ever thus

ignore it and don;t take it personally, you know you are a good mum ,in a stable relationship, ignore it and walk on with your head held high.

that's old folk for you ! they forget things..

If they ask say - 'I'm 30, I just look fabulous for my age!'

Some options.

Ignore them.
Smile at them and say hello.
Ask them what's the matter.
Ask them if you have something in your teeth.
Pretend you think they are admiring your child and smile and say, "Yes, s/he is LOVELY, I'm so lucky, aren't I?"
Ask them if you owe them money.

I had dd1 at 19 too and had the same reaction, now i just get stared at as i have quite a few tattoos

ignore it.... you are happy with your situation so it doesnt matter what anybody else thinks.
hold your head up high and be proud that you are a good mum and are working at building a great future for your family.

my mum was only 16 when she had my eldest sister,18 when she had sis number 2,20 when she had me and 24 when she had sister number 4, both my parents worked tirelessly to give us a good upbrining and we wanted for nothing,material (lacked a bit of love but hey ho!!) my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary last year!

I think everyone gets that disapproval to a certain extent though it is worse when you're younger.

I was struggling out of the dentist the other day with the pram, ds1 and dd were trying to help. An elderly gentleman waited until we were out of his way, I aplogised for holding him up and he grunted, 'you must like kids', before slamming the door.

Some people are just rude.

I get stared at and have comments made to me by interfering old prunes all the bloody time. Presumably they think that as I have purple dreadlocks and wear fishnet tights I should not have bred.

Ignore it. Let them twitter - it gives them something to do and keeps them off the streets

MrsCarrot! That would have pissed me off so much I'd probably have snapped "I do, it's horrible old BASTARDS I can't stand."

But then my kids would be chanting "bastard bastard bastard mummy whats a bastard" all the way home. So maybe not.

anyone who breaks the rules is a threat to those who adhere to them slavishly.

concentrate on your own happiness -- sounds like you are building a good life for you and your family.

Don't let ignorant people and thier comments hurt you.

I had my dd when I was 17 and other people's judgements and nastiness used to really hurt me. I used to spend ages fretting about it all, feeling inadequate and all the rest of it.

Hold you head up high and be proud. Just ignore other people - forget the nasty comments but make sure you remember the nive ones (there are some very nice people out ther, believe me).

Anyway, confidence in yourself does come with age (says I at the grand age of 29!). Soon stuff like this will not bother you in the slightest.

it just really does my head in they have no right in judging me, i feel like telling em wat to they can go and do with them selves. but then id be as bad as them i suppose. i do get sum nice comments of sum, especially when they ask his name (elwyn) cos its an old name they ve all known sum1 with the same lol and then others jus look u up and down as if to say what are u doing with a name like that for your son it shouldnt be allowed sorta thing. grrrr im gna seriously snap at sum one soon.

i had dd the day after my 21st birthday, and i got treated much the same, it was worse when i preg with ds too, then i would dare go out in public at 23 with a toddler and a newborn, all i got was looks of pity and old biddies telling me how hard it must be for me!

Nothing is wrong with them. Most of our own mothers were young

Hold your head up and be proud. My mum was married at 18 and had three kids within 5yrs. I had my first dd at 21 and that was considered very young by some A lot of people presumed my dd was an accident but she was very much wanted! We were ttc for a thirteen months before I received clomid and got pregnant, so it always made me very angry when people were like that!

Motherhood must have aged me, that was 4 yrs ago and nobody says anything now lol.

to (is there any body out there) im not saying that its absolutly everyone who does it but i do get comments all the time and when that old biddy on the bus said that i d had enough. but after reading everybodies replies i do feel more confident that i dont have to prove myself to anybody. and also it makes me just as angry when people like old school mates say things like are you still with the dad (then i show them the ring) and things like "ooo what did your mam say, i bet she went mad." and also i get "oo i bet kristian wasnt very happy about it!" addmitted elwyn wasnt planned i was on the pill but it turns out im allergic to summing innit which caused it not to work, but kristian was so over the moon i had to plead with him to wait a few weeks b4 telling anyone! it was me who was unsure which of corse i feel awful about now but i wud never change any of it for the world and lots of people cant understand that.

I'm 26 and have 3 kids and I get LOADS of odd looks from people,ok I do look young for my age and my dh is 45
But I tend to try and ignore it as much as I can but I know exactly where you are coming from understand exactly what you mean.

I hate going to mother and baby clubs they are the worst, They all ignore me and my millions of kids, mind you I don't really have much to say to those stuck up cows anyway

my mum and my health visitor keep telling me to try going to mother and baby groups but i cant face any more looks off mums who are "the perfect age" and look at me as if im a SLUT cos they know nout bout me or my family. i even heard one mum up baby clinic say to her friend "what she trying to prove?, i hate these girls who dress their kids in maked clothes to look good" whilst looking at me! he was wearing next jeans and a next jacket, addmitted a lot of his clothes are from next but sum of its what he s grown in to from things people bought him when he was born etc he has lots of clothes from lots of shops and im not trying to prove anything, but whatever hes wearing i like him to look smart. whatever i seem to do is wrong in sum peoles eyes, but wen i tell people about all this they just say im being paranoid but i asure u its all the truth and im not being paranoid.

Hey I know where you are coming from 100% people judge me at the moment, as I am living with my parents and can't drive.
They don't wait to hear why I can't drive or why I am at my parents they just asume that I got knocked up and then dumped (ok bit of paranoia there) but they seem to talk to me once find out the bascis and just don't bother to chat to me again. Their loss!

But to be honest I go to the clubs for my kids not to make friends.

As for commenting on the clothes what the hell is that all about, bugger me my 2 youngest kids are in hand me downs as it saves me a hell of a lot of money, fuck who cares what people think of me for that.