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IM SICK OF GRANNYS STARING AT ME

40 replies

Fanargadeb · 08/01/2008 13:52

im so sick of old women staring at me, im a 19 year old mum and whenever i get on a bus or walking around town they seem to stare at me! my mum and my fiance reckon i was being paranoid untill they was with me the other day. i was going into swansea on the bus cos the traffic was really busy and wouldnt park anywhere if id driven and an old lady was talking to her friend and looked at me then said "thats all you see today is teenage mums, its kids having kids" i was so annoyed that i turned around and said "excuse me, and how old was u wen u had kids" she replied "19 not that its any of your business" addmitted i look about 17/18 but its not there business about me and my 8month old ds. i mean im not your average young mum me and my fiance are both working parents got our own business, having our own house built etc getting married soon and been together for a few years now, i cant see wat their prob is i mean they was married and having kids at my age. its getting really hard to ignore now. people will smile at elwyn in the pram then notice me and look me up and down, im always dressed smart and not totally plastered in makeup, what the hell is everyones problem with young mums? any advice anyone??

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Fanargadeb · 08/01/2008 16:56

innit!! but those are the types of comments i get all the time! my mums friends daughter has got a baby of 11months and she s passed on sum clothes and i love the tesco range of clothes! i get him jeans etc from primark to crawl around in cos they get wrecked so quickly!! do u children like the groups??

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Kneehighinnappies · 08/01/2008 17:04

It's not the childrens fault their parents are small minded, I just get on with my own thing, make my self cups of tea and let the kids get on with playing.
My dd1 goes off and does her own thing and the dt's just sit there and fiddle about, I find it just helps them get used to interacting with other children and asserting themselves.
Some of the kids there are little sods but at that type of age most kids are, hey mine are no angels

anynamewilldo · 08/01/2008 17:10

I am nearly 27, I had my 1st dd when i was 17, 2nd dd when i was 19, ds when i was 23, 3rd dd when i was 26 and now due another baby in may (I will be 27 then). I have been with my dp since I was 15. I work with the elderly and I love the questions, one lady who had 7!!!! children of her own, asked when i went back after maternity leave with dc4, have you planned any more?? (as if i am going to tell you i am already 6weeks pg )

Its nobody else's business, when you choose to start a family, (whether planned or not) It is you that will need to be there to feed, and clothe your child, not them!!

cazboldy · 08/01/2008 17:18

i was 14 when i fell pg with ds1 and 15 just before i had him. i met my dh when i was 13 and we will have been happily married for 10 years on the 31st of this month. i now have 5 beautiful dc - people and their crappy comments just make me more determined to enjoy what i have, and do what i do well - you have to rise above it

Fanargadeb · 08/01/2008 17:18

i would love to have another baby really really would like to! but can you imagine if i did! things are bad enough now without adding to it!! plus with a puppy a rabbit and the business etc probs not a good idea!!

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itsahardknocklife · 08/01/2008 17:23

Ignore it, Fanargadeb - it's their problem, not yours. I get stared at all the time because I'm fat and have a small child. Once I got an old lady commenting that I should make an effort to lose the pregnancy fat. She got a very rude reply. And anyway, I was fat before I was pregnant!
How dare someone look down on you because your child is dressed nicely!!! That is surely just jealousy.
And I'm jealous of you - I want to be 19!!

Kneehighinnappies · 08/01/2008 17:24

Fanargadeb-as long as you know that you are always doing what is best for your baby and you it really doesn't matter what other people think, you shouldn't worry about haivng to justify your decesions to people you don't know and who in the most part will have no bearing on you or your familys future.

Fanargadeb · 08/01/2008 17:35

thanks so much u guys u ve really helped me feel like im not doing anything wrong i do appreciate it, hopefully i'll get a bit more confidence now to go to mother and child groups etc but i dont want to get too much confidence or i ll snap back with very nasty and rude comments then again they mite deserve it! but i ll be moved house soon it should be ready in feb!! new clinic and eveything, new start and head held high!!

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goingfor3 · 08/01/2008 17:40

I've had that too though I was 23 when I had dd1 and 26 when I had dd2 people, usually grannies at bus stops, would talk very loudley about young single mothers sponging off the state! Really annoyed me as I'm not that young, not single and don't claim any benfits other than CB. You are not alone!!!!!

itsahardknocklife · 08/01/2008 17:55

I reckon the wrinklies are just jealous of your youth. Some old women get very bitter! (I shall no doubt be one of them!)
Your children are luck to have young parents - my mum was 19 when she had my brother, and 39 when she had me (there were 3 others in the middle) - each age brings its own problems, I think.
Hold your head up Fanargadeb and be proud - you have done nothing wrong and are doing everything right!

Fanargadeb · 08/01/2008 17:57

thank you goingfor3 im so glad im not the only one, they do just asume your single and claiming benifits its so awfully frustrating but one day they ll have there comupance when sum1 fights back

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Fanargadeb · 08/01/2008 18:00

my nan is 86 and would never dream of saying such a thing, she even said to me the other day when i was moaning about moving saying i had too much stuff and she said why not sell sum thing on ebay!!!! she s in an old ppls home so she must have heard sum1 say it she s really funny the thing s she says makes me laugh so much!!

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nametaken · 08/01/2008 18:14

stripeymama I think I know you and your purple dreadlocks LOL. Can't be many people who fit your description. Do you live in E and your dc go to SL School?

sorry for hijack - FWIW, don't take any notice of the starting. People used to used at my twins all the time - it really got on my nerves so much I felt like getting a TShirt printed with "Yeah, it's twins, get over it".

If your feeling really really brave you could just politely say

"It's rude to stare"

stripeymama · 08/01/2008 20:05

Nope tis not me!

Thought I'd been rumbled then...

Fanargadeb · 09/01/2008 11:22

yes i was thinking of getting a t-shirt printed too lol mind u i decorated ds pram with tinsel for xmas had a few funny looks then mind but it was xmas and he was dressed as a pudding it was cos we was on our way over to my nans nursing home for an xmas party etc but it was great fun!i didnt mind the looks then as most people thought it was great!!

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