So who would knows about perimenopause and menopause then .. and how come we aren't taught / don't discuss in advance

[Twiglett]

OK I'm 40 so possibly in reach of the perimenopause which I understand can start 10 years before the menopause

I've had a bug that is also giving me hot sweats, I've also been raging more than normal

I've ordered a book that has been recommended to me but I know nothing

(much as I knew nothing about my cycle 'til I read Toni Weschler's book)

The scary thing for me is that when my mum died (in her 40s), all the symptoms she had been having months prior to her death, were put down to the menopause....palpitations, anxiety etc. but they were just masking a progressive heart problem which was what killed her.

I already get some of the symptoms mentioned...do I run with it or get everything checked out by the Dr, Just In Case?

Huw - oh, I hadn't thought of that. And women have such different symptoms than men with heart disease, don't they? And HRT can (in some cases) increase the risk I've just read. Arrgggh.

heart disease in women

One of the questions for me is: at what point am I going to do anything about it medically if and when it gets rough? I think it'll have to get pretty bad for me to consider it - had very bad experiences with birth control pills when I was younger and already have to take thyroxine every day for hypothyroidism.

MrsSchadenFreude - that's so reassuring! My youngest is 6 and I'm 36, so hopefully he'll be over the worst of teenage angst by the time I go through it.

I have talked to my aunt about it - she had sweats and hot flashes, I think. She's the most sane person I know, so not sure of the emotional stuff. Will ask her when she's over next.

I do know a few people (including mum) who have gone through it. Apparently the hot flushes are the worst thing, which is why that's what everyone talks about. But how bad they are seems to vary a lot from person to person. One friend had them several times each day for about 18 months - so badly that if it was at night she would have to change the bed!

But I think that's quite extreme. Most people seem to reprt an occasional dripping sweat at night and uncomfortable heat from time to time during the day.

It's only a problem for a relatively short time.

One thing I'd be interested to know is... Is it worth starting Calcium supplements in your late 40s? My mum (73) broke her hip this year and had been told that she has osteoporosis - despite the fact that she had a bone density scan in her late 50s and was told that her bones were fine.

Oh gosh HuW. I'm sorry about your mum. Did you ever have any heart tests?

Good to see some experienced MNers here. I think I could cope with the physical stuff but as someone else said it's the more mental side that bothers me. I generally don't do anxiety and doom and I'm anxious about it. Or maybe that's a symptom, panicking about panicking

Did we decide on the KY Klub then? We could have T-shirts.

I'm curious to know how someone gets through a day at work if they have 2 or 3 hot flushes. If you're in a meeting for example, and suddenly get covered in sweat - how do you deal with that? Do you take changes of clothes to work? Do you take a shower (what if your workplace doesn't have a shower)?

I think you just have to loosen your shirt, flap some papers and say 'Excuse me, I'm just having a hot flush - I'll be all right in a moment.' You'll get a bit of sympathy and no one will dare make comments for fear of breaching the Sex Discrimination Act and getting the sack

What tehy do, bella, is pick up anything flat beside them and start flapping at their faces wildly to get a breeze. Or they snap at someone to open a window as it's so hot (while everyone else exchanges quizzical looks as the snow blows in). I've seen 'em

They quickly peel off all extra layers as well

My (older) sister had the exreme version of hot flushes-she used to get dozens each day -one day she counted over a hundred!
She was on HRT for some years as a result, which dealt the problem.
I am 51 and just going into the menopause, I think. (Sister and Mum both did so in early fifties). I am dreading the hot flushes, as I have been told I will not be ablt to take HRT (I had cancer 7 years ago and also have a condition which affects blood clotting).
My main symptoms at the moment are sudden flashes of anger; also have feelings of panic in situations that would normally not bother me.
Am relieved to read about the "word slips" on the websites as I have been doing this a lot and wondered what on earth was wrong with me!

i have a tendency to think that if you dont think about it then it is less liekley to be a big deal

this is my philosophy generally with medical stuff..in fact is menopasue medical or is it like pregnancy an natural thing ...just carry on regardless and hope it will go away if you dont look at it

I don't want the panic and nager, I don't want the panic and anger, I don't want the panic anc anger

Ah Santa I'm the opposite. Think about it, imagine the worst, then anything less will be a bonus

I agree with santa. It's better if I don't think about things

Me neither pinetree. I'm deffo panicking about panic. Tis not good.

x-posts are making me look like I'm confused and don't know what I'm thinking.

No-it's not good! Has anyone who is going through/been though it find any natural treatments I would be able to take?

im more confused since this thread started than i ever was never thinking about it lol

but i still think if you take out the mental symptoms..then the rest doesnt sound too bad

if you already have mental health problems then not sure they can double themselves up can they so

that only leaves dry vaginas as my thing to feel worried about

As always, MN comes up with the answers, just when I was starting to wonder about all this.

I have been getting quietly very worried about my mental 'fogging', inability to concentrate, word slips, and bursts of anger..and very relieved to think there is an explanation.

On the subject of alternative remedies, can I highlight Black Cohosh and mention a warning against it.
This is often promoted as an HRT alternative. However my mum told me about a major medical study which came out against it. Apparently, rats in the study suffered fewer tumours than those who didn't have it, but the ones they got were much more malignant and fast growing.

My, this thread has taken off.. there must be a lot of us about! Not sure how far I am into the menopause - my specialist said how long is a piece of string (how helpful). I wanted to rage back at him 'TOO BLOODY LONG' but thought that inappropriate and would probably make me sweat... even more. My FSH levels were 12 when I concieved DD 5 years ago. Then concieved DS when DD was just over a year. Last test was when DS was 10 months and the FSH was 54. I really suffer from hot flushes, always been a hot body but apart from the heat that seems to rise through my whole body, I also find it really hard to cool down quickly. If I have walked somewhere it will take a good 20 mins after to stop sweating if I enter a warmish room. Lovely, I do get quite self contious of it as well. I also get much more anger than perviously and the anxiety is horrible. Real feelings of dark gloom and anxiety that I have never experienced before. I have always been a bit of a health worrier but this is worse I hate to say. Have armed myself with rescue remedy to see if that helps. Also, TMI alert, thrush - bloody thrush. Never had it before. Now always get it if run down, it I take AB's will get it within 2 days of starting tablets. Horrible.

and obviously it affects my ability to spell... conscious!!

It's the forgetting words that I find most annoying. This extends to not being able to remember the names of my friends' children, sometimes.

My inability to learn new things also grieves me - especially anything related to 'new' technology. If I go on a course about anything computer-related then I've forgotten it all the following week.

Meanwhile the 20-somethings are giving me long-suffering looks and treating me as though I'm thick when I have to ask them how to do it, because of course they were brought up with computers so it all comes naturally to them!

Right, this is my experience of the menopause so far.

I am 44, had my first period at 14 and my children wwere born when I was 37.7 and 40.5.

I experienced my first symptom just after I turned 42 in the form of a panic attack which I put down to stress as I had the inlaws staying, dd had just started full-time school and an 8 month old ds. However, soon after this I had 2 periods in one month and a horribly spotty face.

This pattern has continued with periods getting heavier, a sudden onset of PMT (which I'd never experienced before), a few night sweats, weird heart beats, greasy hair (another lovely new experience)and more recently, waking up in the night for no obvious reason. And the brain fog of course. I've got to grips (sort of) with the panic attacks now I know the probable cause. I haven't really had any hot flushes so far.

I will speak to my mum later this week and post her experience (she has always been very open about it) but I'm sure her symptoms were exacerbated by being widowed at 45 and being diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease (underactive thryoid).

Just read your post, fortyplus. I have been an SAHM for several years now - I have no ideas how I'm going to cope with going back to work tbh, I can't learn anything new either.

No. nothing new sinks in with me either! I used to be so quick to pick things up, but now it just goes in one ear and out the other!