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Original poster

Does it ever occur to you that you might not have grandchildren?

46 replies

WideWebWitch · 14/11/2004 18:23

I just thought today that if dd waits to have children as long as I did to have her (I was 37) I might be dead before any grandchildren come along. If she does wait until she's 37 and I'm not dead, which I bloody well hope I'm not but hey, who knows, I'll be SEVENTY FOUR! Now I've worked this out I'm selfishly hoping she'll have babies in her twenties. Does anyone else feel the same? (I know, she's not even one and I'm thinking about grandchildren. I think it's because she's my girl)

OP posts:
Davros · 14/11/2004 18:25

Oh yes, because until last year we only had DS who is severely autistic and so is never going to get married, have kids etc. Now we have DD it is at least a possibility but not a certainty which is a vast improvement imo.

blossomhill · 14/11/2004 18:27

I suppose that is one of the benefits having children young (23 and 24) I will also, hopefully, be a young nan. My mum was 50 when ds was born.

lavender2 · 14/11/2004 18:31

was 26 when ds was born...it's something I've never given thought to and wouldn't worry about at all...if it's to be it's to be

lavender2 · 14/11/2004 18:32

forgot to mention mum was 54 when ds was born..she has me when 30

tamum · 14/11/2004 18:48

Snap, www. Have had exactly this thought, and will be same age as you. Our only hope is that anti-ageing creams will be so vastly improved by then that no-one will ever know. I am also guilty of thinking about the twenties scenario

Lonelymum · 14/11/2004 18:50

Not as such but I sometimes hope my boys won't be gay for that very reason (no offence to gay people - hope I haven't lit a fuse here!)

GRMUM · 14/11/2004 18:56

Many times www!!On the one hand I've always been so glad I had my kids later because I wasn't really ready to give up the social life etc when I was in my 20's on the other I'll be be pretty old and cronky if they all wait until their mid thirties to have children.

fisil · 14/11/2004 18:57

LM, gay men can have children too!

Cliche, I know, but I really just want ds to be happy. Grandchildren would be great, but the way my life has been so far, I've always found stuff to entertain me and bring me happiness, and I hope I'll continue to do so, whether it be grandchildren or something else.

I think the thing to avoid is the position my poor parents are currently in. They met at university, got married & had four childless years. They then had 2 children very quickly, and then 12 1/2 years later another one. So my little brother only left home at the beginning of October this year (and only to go to university, so he's still a dependant) and next week my Granny moves in with them as she can no longer live alone. My mum says that she had looked forward to helping us out when grandchildren started arriving, and she is sad that she has had my brother & granny to care for, and so has not been able to give us the time she wants. My brother is a wonderful young man and his presence in our family is the best thing, but it has robbed my parents of 10 years of freedom, and I think that is important to them too.

scaltygirl · 14/11/2004 18:57

This reply has been deleted

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Lonelymum · 14/11/2004 19:01

Can they Fisil? how does that work?

ScummyMummy · 14/11/2004 19:02

But www, if your ds waits till the same age you were you'll only be a sprightly sixty, if I've got my maths right, and then his sister may want to catch up leaving you the doting grandwitch of zillions.

tortoiseshell · 14/11/2004 19:04

I'd be really sad if dd didn't have children, even though it would be entirely up to her. I also know I'd be a very interfering Grandma! But I know what you mean about a girl - I feel quite differently about dd and ds - I love them both equally, but in quite different ways. Can't really put it into words, but there is a difference there.

fisil · 14/11/2004 19:05

well, I think they have to befriend someone with a womb. No, that's illegal. Maybe they have to adopt. Or do what my friend did and find a man who worked it out a little later in life than others, and so already had an ex-wife and children. (And that particular friend, his mum dotes on her son's partner's son!)

Twiglett · 14/11/2004 19:08

you could hold out for teenage preganancies I suppose

codswallop · 14/11/2004 19:14

aha this is why I have had three!

codswallop · 14/11/2004 19:15

( sons)

AussieSim · 14/11/2004 19:15

I've thought about this (I was nearly 34 when DS cam along and will be 36 for my D?) and even mentioned it to a friend of mine the other day who was 39/40 for her two. She hadn't thought about it and was horrified.

I often bemoan the breakdown of the extended family unit these days, so imagine how tough it will be for our children with no grandparents, or only v old grandparents who aren't much use. Another friend of mine remarked this week what a difference it made that her MIL (60 something) was 10yrs younger than her own mother and therefore much more help with her young baby and toddler.

Tinker · 14/11/2004 20:13

Well, my mum was 31 when she had me and I was 32 when had my daughter. Tbh, it's the possibility that she mightn't have any that'd be more troubling rather than I'd be too old. All my own grandparents were old so I've just always thought that grandparents were. Old, I mean. Still have to re-read on here sometimes when people mention their own grandparents. So, it'd be nice to have some but I don't expect to be doing day to day childcare.

tortoiseshell · 14/11/2004 20:20

fisil - can be done (befriend womb I mean!). All that is illegal here isn't in other countries (eg France!).

Chandra · 14/11/2004 20:22

Don't worry WWW by then the life span of the population would have increased to 125 years and we all would be able to meet the extended family!

Mum2girls · 14/11/2004 20:28

I've thought this - had both mine in very late 30's, so I'll be an old bugger if mine ever get round to reproducing.

Would've had to have had mine before I was 19 as that's when my mum (late 40's) died. So I feel what will be, will be.

Original poster
WideWebWitch · 14/11/2004 21:41

Interesting that other people have thought about this too. Ha ha Tamum at anti aging creams, they'd have to be damn good wouldn't they? Tortoiseshell, I know, I think it is because she's my girl and I want to be around if and when she has babies. You know, to interfere... Scummy, you're right, if ds has kids at 30, I'll only be 60, there's a much cheerier thought, thanks! Hope I like the woman he has them with

OP posts:
iota · 14/11/2004 21:57

Having had my children at 40 and 42, yes I do wonder if I will live to see my grandchildren.
However, of more pressing importance to me is will I live to see them grown up and self sufficient - I will be 67 when my younger son is 25 - and if I do live that long, will I still be sane - or have turned into a stereotypical batty old lady

I'm relying omn my younger dh to keep me young - as you should www

Jimjams · 14/11/2004 22:02

I'm the same as Davros. DS1 is never going to have kids- so yes it has occurred to me.

Having 2 other boys (assuming touch wood touch wood number 3 is fine etc etc) I'm always going to be the evil MIL anyway!

Original poster
WideWebWitch · 14/11/2004 22:03

Ah, iota, you're right, dp will only be 64 when I'm 74 so he should be here anyway if she leaves it that long before having babies (if I haven't sucked the youth out of him har har!)

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