Does it ever occur to you that you might not have grandchildren?

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I just thought today that if dd waits to have children as long as I did to have her (I was 37) I might be dead before any grandchildren come along. If she does wait until she's 37 and I'm not dead, which I bloody well hope I'm not but hey, who knows, I'll be SEVENTY FOUR! Now I've worked this out I'm selfishly hoping she'll have babies in her twenties. Does anyone else feel the same? (I know, she's not even one and I'm thinking about grandchildren. I think it's because she's my girl)

My mum had me at 35 and I had my first baby at 34 so she was 69 before grandchildren arrived. Doesn't make a jot of difference - she had both grandkids (2.4 yr old and 7 month old) for 5 days recently whilst we were in Rome and she is 72 now.

Generally life expectancy is quite good, so with a good head wind most of use should make it to the toothless and hair rinse stage. Although I will probably secumb to something nasty given my 25+ units of alcohol per week.

I can testify its worth staying alive for

Or I might get so het up by a mumsnet thread that my bp rises dangerously and it could be sooner...

Lonelymum - I've often thought the same thing but have taken comfort in the fact the gay couples can also have children. That's one less worry to keep me awake at night (although there's plenty more!)

Paolosgirl - I though you had a daughter too (from the boys getting a hard time thread)?

Yes, I do sometimes think of the possibility that I might never be a granny but I hope that eventually I will. Neither ds or dd has a partner at the moment and I can't see either of them having a family for at least another 10 years or so (they're 24 and 21 btw). I'm fortunate in that I was a young mum (22 when ds was born) so I have the time to wait.

I was 29 when DD was born but DH was 45 - so when she's 30 he'll be dead or dead old

My Mum was 23 when she had me, but never saw her grandchildren. REason? Dead of cancer aged 49. IT is one of my greatest sadnesses that she did not meet my children.
In contrast, my grannie is 88, and still going very strong. Has 12 grandchildren and 7 greats at the mo, next one due in January.
Just goes to show, you don't know what life will throw at you and worrying about things like whether you will see your grandchildren could be a pointless waste of energy you could devote to things in the here and now.

Lonelymum - I know a number of gay men who have had children with lesbian women, with the agreement that they will stay involved and be known to the child as its father.

Plus, they can adopt. And do surrogacy (though legal situation is tricky here).

I've seriously wondered if my girls could be persuaded to have babies at 19, WWW.

There are lesbian MNers whose kids have gay dads, actually.

Err, yes, ALL the time, it's the one and only thing that pains me about Lottie having Down's syndrome. Breaks my heart but there you go.

I think about this, and like MI, I will be quite happy if dd decides young motherhood is for her. My mum didn't see any of her grandchildren as she died at 60 (and she was gagging for them which makes it even more sad) so I think if I do hold a grandchild in my arms one day, it will mean an enormous amount to me. Ditto if dd gets married and I'm invited to the wedding - Kleenex shares will shoot up that day.

Of course, then dd and d-i-l will be on mumsnet complaining that I'm a mad, possesive interfering, spoiling granny. Can't wait!

Handlemecarefully - yes I have one of each. Why do you ask?

Thomcat, I'm sorry. How crass we can all be sometimes without thinking. There are quite a few instances of women with Down's syndrome having children, both with and without Down's. You probably already know that, but just thought I'd mention it.

No need Tamum, but thanks. No it's just that it really is the one and only thing I find difficult about Lottie having DS. I'll just hav e to have more kids to help improve my odds, but like everyone else there are still no guarantees.

It wouldn't bother me, to be honest. I was 38 when I had dd, so I may end up being a nobby old duck by the time dd gets around to having children of her own. I don't feel that grandchildren are a right; I will already have had the joy (and pain) of bringing up my own child, and I won't need grandchildren to make that complete. Whether or not she decides to have children is her choice alone, and all I want for her is to know that she is happy.

nope no grandkids thank you very much - i will do no babysitting everrrr

and its another xmas present

i want to retire and never hear the sound of baby feet again ever

Never really thought about it.

I was a great aunt 3 times before I was even a mum-courtesy of DH's sisters being quite a bit older than him.That was weird.

I am a very morbid person and now that I have ds I think about how awful it will be to leave him when the time comes (yes, I know he'll be a middle aged man by then and that's completely different to leaving a 7 month old now!) but I guess what I'm saying is that if I have grand children I will hate leaving them too. Does that make sense? When ds was born my dad gave me a cheque for him so he would have his own bank account and he said 'he might need the money when he's 16 or so, not that I'll be around then' - it made me very sad at the time and I guess that's where my morbidity comes from!

TC- IME it does become less painful when you have others- because although you don't know whether you are going to have grandchildren you do know that you may have them. TBH once ds2 proved himself to be fine I stopped thinking about and it stopped mattering so much because att least it wasn't a definite no-no. Hope that makes sense!