Is it correct that you do not send christmas cards to households in which a family member has died during that year?

[yulebesorry]

does anyone know about this. however feel I would want to acknowledge someone in this situation.

No! I've never heard this, would neer occur to me and if it was to happen to me God forbid i'd be deeply offended!

Maybe in some etiquette book 230 years ago, but surely not now? I always make an special effort TO remember those who have lost someone.

Obviously know not to send a jolly,glitter filled number. But is it correct to send none?

As someone facing the death of her dh I would be utterly horrified if people then took me off their card list for a year. I would feel that they only sent the card to dh and they they couldn't be bothered to send one to me. adding insult to considerable injury IMHO

Oh god no, you MUST send them a card, it's like the 'do I send one to the wife who DHs friend divorced question'. If you like them - do it!

Never heard of that - all the more need to send a card, I'd have thought. As well not to put the deceased's name on it though.

LOLOL
no! how strange

I think a kind word at what will probably be a very hard Christmas is a very kind gesture

ye gods ! how awful

to effectively ostracise someone who is bereaved

send a card !! where did you hear that?

My dp has lost both of his parents this year and we would be upset if people missed us of our list even though we are not making a big deal out of christmas

Surely at a time like Christmas, the bereaved need even more of our thoughts and good wishes?

I have always sent cards to people who have lost a loved one. Wouldn't have occurred to me not to TBH. Would acknowledge that it might be a difficult time in the card as well.

Thank you, i do feel the same as you. But my dad just reminded me not to send a card to a family member for this reason. Could it be an Irish custom?

sorry is this mumsnet cranford branch?

In all seriousness not heard that and would have thought that getting cards might be a bit of cheeriness at an otherwise difficult time of year.

Last year I sent one to a recently berieved friend, but rather than wishing her a Merry Christmas, I put that I was thinking of her at Christmas and sending lots of love, or something like that.

I have sent cards this year to bereaved relatives and have put

Thinking of you this Christmas

Love
###xxxxx ccc xxx xxxx

My local post office sells cards thata re clearly intended for just this- thinking of you in this season, with a pretty but not OTT image of a bridge over a snow covered stream. I saw it yesterday and wish we'd seen it alst year for a friend who lost her dear Dh that year,

Tis an Irish custom, DH tells me.

I have never heard of that...we got plenty Christmas cards the year Ds died. As others have said, a few mentioned things like " thinking of you at this time"

a few forgot to take Ds name off the card though which upset Dh a bit

i still sign everything

" Kristina, John and family"

as i cant bear to write the other children's names and miss his out

Oh Kristina Hugs

ah yes Irish. Dh's granny didn't send any last year (his grandad had died earlier in the year). I had never heard of that before and thought it was some weird IL custom. But obviously not.

KristinaM- when I send a card to my friend who lost her son I have to re-read it about 8 times to make sure I haven't included his name. But it feels very odd not to. I wondered about writing to friend friend dh and family but then thought that was a bit obvious. I don't think xmas is ever easy for her (or you probably) though anyway....... The first year I wrote something about thinking of her at a difficult time and I usually ring her around xmas sometime to say that now. Oh it's horrible. Thinking of you too.

If Irish Catholic then the bereaved typically won't send cards, and instead of Christmas card it is more typical to send a mass card (though if you don't know what that is, then it is unlikely that they would expect one IYSWIM).

we are neither Irish nor Catholic but received several mass cards after Ds died. we appreciated them very much. although we didnt put them in the coffin

I am Irish and was raised Catholic and was still surprised that people didn't send us Christmas cards the year my Dad died. Apparently, or according to my Mum anyway, the bereaved are not supposed to send Christmas cards either and I had broken tradition by sending them.

I'd never heard this - how interesting. I would always send them - though with tact as others have mentioned.

My mum would have been upset if she'd received no Christmascards the year my dad died...and she is a Catholic. I guess it depends on the family concerned.