Is it correct that you do not send christmas cards to households in which a family member has died during that year?

[yulebesorry]

does anyone know about this. however feel I would want to acknowledge someone in this situation.

i would be offended if i didn't get cards, i think it is even more important to send one if someone has died.

The year DH died I got more cards than I've ever had before or since, infact I got some from people I'd never even met. It was lovely and much appreciated.

You must send one.

No I've never heard of this before.
You must send one to let them know you are thinking of them.

I wonder if the idea came from someone watching or reading something like Cranford or a Jane Austen adaptation. As you can just picture a conversation between the ladies in the drawing room saying something like "oh noooo to send a card would be most frowned upon as it is not the done thing. You will be banished from society!!"

Sorry for twittering on but it does sound very outdated.

when my brother died I would have been quite ofeended if no-one sent me a card.I think it is even more appropriate to send a card to let the person kn ow you are in their thoughts

I remember my mum (very traditional) was rather surprised to receive a jolly 'happy christmas' style card from someone the year my dad died. I think the tact thing is obviously important, but i remember wondering whether she knew some rule I didn't....

I am Irish and was raised as a Catholic and have never heard of this. Although, it is fair to say that I never paid a lot of attention to religious stuff. But I certainly sent and received Christmas cards the Christmas after my Dad died.

I come from a strict Irish Catholic family and have never heard of this, gosh what a strange bunch we can be.

Irish Catholic here to and have never heard of it. It sounds like an old custom that is pretty much dying out.

My mum was so touched by all the cards she received the year Dad died, it was one of the things that supported her through that first difficult Christmas.

How odd. Send a card and don't forget to acknowledge the person who has died, e.g., "thinking of you this Christmas, I hope your happy memories of xxx will help get you through this very difficult time of year" or words to that effect.

My friend very recently lost her husband and is so scared of people just pretending he didn't exist because they are scared of upsetting her.

I think it'd be horrid to ignore someone who'd already be feeling rotten. You obviously have to pick a card with a bit of tact which isn't too hard to do.

No. Sounds horribly like shunning to me.
Kristina XXX

I seen some cards in Clintons that say are basically christmas cards for bereaved (sp) people; take the stance of "thinking of you at this time" or something like this

could be a good compromise?

oops - I HAVE seen

No it's the other way around.

The tradition is that the people who have been bereaved don't send out cards.

But it's mainly died out now, most people don't observe it anymore.

My family are clearly oddities! But I knew that already!

Still observed by DH's family too.
I (neither Irish nor Catholic) agree with other posters though, better to send a thoughtful card.

Irish Catholic familydhere and when my DB dies suddenly we didn't send any Christmas card and extended family knew not to send.

All my family back home do it

Yes, sorry, it's not sending them that we observe.