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Original poster

Would you ask me not to bring her?

57 replies

Pennies · 30/11/2007 15:14

DD1 has chicken pox but is now past the contagious stage. We're invited to an Xmas party tomorrow at which there will be lots of young children, some babies and some pregnant mums.

I've sent and email to everyone going telling them that she's still spotty but not contagious any more and asking if anyone minds if I still bring her.

It's not as if I won't go if anyone asks me not to being her as DH is staying home with DD2 who hasn't had it yet and is now likely to get it any any point in the next few weeks and so could well be contagious.

WWYD??

OP posts:
Original poster
Pennies · 30/11/2007 15:55

really? i'd say yes if I was worried about it.

OP posts:
FrostyGlassSlipper · 30/11/2007 15:56

I wouldn't ask you not to bring your Dd but if I was pregnant I'd make an excuse not to go myself 'just in case' and then be pissed ff with you about it. Sorry.

ComeOVeneer · 30/11/2007 16:04

"going whatever the outcome". a rather odd way to treat your friends. Why bother asking them if you are going to do it anyway?

Ledodgy · 30/11/2007 16:05

I think Pennies meant that she's going whether her daughter comes or not.

Ledodgy · 30/11/2007 16:06

I'd also leave her at home to be honest there will be people who are worried and will stay at home rather than tell you.

Original poster
Pennies · 30/11/2007 16:07

COV - I said I'M going whatever the outcome, I've not got it have I?

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Camillathechicken · 30/11/2007 16:07

ok, my DD was mistakenly diagnosed with chicken pox a few weeks ago, one of my friends was in the early stages of pregnancy, one had a newborn. i was really quite upset and phoned them both and kept DD away from them, i also missed going to a funeral as no-one to leave her with . then it turned out she didn;t have it! but my friends were grateful for the warning and for me keeping her away regardless.

i really think you should leave her at home with your DH.

newly pregnant mums will worry regardless of how much info you give them to say it is ok,

tis human nature

NAB3littlemonkeys · 30/11/2007 16:07

I wouldn't take her.

izzybiz · 30/11/2007 16:07

If the last spot has scabbed and they have been dry a couple of days, I would take her, Why should a little girl miss out because other people are ill informed on chicken pox.

belgo · 30/11/2007 16:09

I think most parents know that once the spots have dried the contagious stage has passed. I've seen children at playgroups and partiesat this stage - still spotty but dry spots - and there has never been a problem.

madamez · 30/11/2007 16:11

Hmm. Not sure it's a good idea to pander to ignorance (ie your child is not infectious): however, if anyone who is at the party contracts chickenpox from some random as-yet-unspotty-but-very-contagious-incubating-it child on the bus, then you will get the blame.
(Actually your DD has probably given it to most of them already, before her rash came out).

ComeOVeneer · 30/11/2007 16:11

Ooops sorry . I got the wrong end of the stick. I thought you meant you were going to take her whatever they thought. I'll get my coat.

LittleBella · 30/11/2007 16:14

What is human nature? Being worried about nothing?

I hope rational thought is also part of human nature.

Not so long ago, people thought they'd catch AIDS if they wree in the same room as a victim. They were wrong. I'm sorry, but this stubborn insistence that people have the right to cling to ignorance, is really depressing.

LittleBella · 30/11/2007 16:17

Agree with Madamez.

It is pandering to ignorance, but I think in the current climate, that's the polite thing to do. And actually, some of those kids probably are going to have chickenpox because they've already been in contact iwth your DD when she was contagious, so I suppose you'd be better off demonstrating that must have caught it beforehand.

Have you had chickenpox? Might you be contagious?

nailpolish · 30/11/2007 16:19

whoah there!!!

belgo · 30/11/2007 16:21

the thing is though, I don't think most parents are ignorant when it comes to chicken pox. All the parents know, know that the contagious stage is over once the spots have dried.

Original poster
Pennies · 30/11/2007 16:58

Ok - the replies I've had (inc. one with a baby, one who hasn't had it and one who's PG) all say fine, but I've decided to not take her anyway and have emailed all to that effect.

I seem to have touched upon a nerve here a bit - didn't mean to. Was only trying to do the best for everyone.

Not sure who asked but no of course I'm not contagious. Give me some credit.

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LittleBella · 30/11/2007 17:06

LOL sorry that was me.

You can get chickenpox twice, but I'm not sure if it's shingles second time round and whether that would translate to being contagious with cp. I don't think it would, but can't be arsed to google it.

TheHollyandMcDreamy · 30/11/2007 17:10

No it would be chicken pox as you can't "catch" shingles.

Sorry your daughter will be missing out on the party, but I hope you have a nice time

tortoiseSHELL · 30/11/2007 17:11

I would have taken her - NHS Direct say there has NEVER been a case of transmitting the disease from 5 days after the first spot onwards. As long as you're beyond that, I can't see a problem. Ds1 had spots for a month anyway - I wasn't going to keep him in for that length of time when he wasn't infectious. I did keep dd off a party when ds1 had had chickenpox so she was incubating it, and just took ds1 - he was still spotty but well, and not infectious.

Shingles - you don't 'catch' shingles - when you have chickenpox the virus remains in your nervous system, and if you get run down it can emerge as shingles. Nothing to do with being exposed to chicken pox. But if someone does develop shingles then you can catch chickenpox from them.

Anyone with a young baby/someone pregnant would be at no risk from your child, but they could be at risk from any number of people incubating something they are unaware of.

Original poster
Pennies · 30/11/2007 17:15

Well it will be day 8 tomorrow but she can stay home anyway and we'll pander to ignorance!

Poor DD2 is stuck at home until she gets it or three weeks passes which means no nursery and activities for her.

Can you tell that this lurgy's beginning to piss me right off.

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tortoiseSHELL · 30/11/2007 17:23

Oh it's so annoying isn't it Pennies. Ds1 got it at my parents house, and I had to stay an extra 3 days than we were going to, because I had to bring them home on the train, so I waited till he was past being infectious, calculated that dd wouldn't yet be infectious and risked it (had no choice). but even though ds1 was past being infectious he still got some wary looks.

LittleBella · 30/11/2007 17:27

ooh so if someone has shingles and you can catch chickenpox from them, when are they infectious? (is it just before they show symptoms, like with most of these things?)

cheeset · 30/11/2007 17:38

I wouldnt take my DD is she had Chicken Pox spots. If I was pregnant and at this party, this would worry me all night. People could explain the whole situation about it not being contagious but I'd fret 'what if?'

Tis human nature to think like that and i'd console myself that there would be other crimbo parties and other situations where my kids have fun.

lucyellensmum · 30/11/2007 17:41

ok, dumbass question here, why is it dangerous for a pregnant woman to be exposed to chicken pox, i know i should know this, but i seem to have forgotten , i thought german measles was the big no no

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