Some of you may have read my posts about our dd, Anna. She is nearly 17 months old, but is not yet crawling, walking, pulling up and is saying only one or two words. She has a very small head, which she had before birth and which is still off the bottom of the centile chart. She had a development review by the health visitor which placed her some months below where she should be for her age
On Tuesday, we saw the consultant paediatrician locally here again. To our great sadness, he told us that our dd was basically in some way brain-damaged because her head has not grown properly.
We may never find out an exact cause, although they are going to do lots of tests (genetic tests, brain scan, EEG, blood tests). Our dd will receive therapy through a system called Portage, to try to help her to learn to move, speak etc. Does anyone have experience of this?
While we knew something was not right with her, we still clung to hope that she was just developing more slowly than average. Dh and I are both very tearful right now, almost going through a grieving process for what might have been. I don't feel angry, just very, very sad. It is hard not to question whether I did something wrong, did I not feed her enough or eat the wrong thing during pregnancy? We just love her so much.
It is hard not knowing what the future holds - how disabled will she be, what will life be like for her?
Sorry if this is very depressing, but it just helps a bit to write it down. Thanks for listening.