How do you handle a bitch?

[GrumpyOldHorsewoman]

If someone is being nasty, narky and unpleasant, but status prevents you from venting your true feelings, how do you deal with it?

All advice please, before I explode from bitterness and resentment.

Is it in a work or social situation?

i would re direct e-mails

go in her office when she has gone and make her lose important paperwork

spit in her tea

By being assertive. What's she doing?

could you tell us more about the circumstances? "friend", boss, relative?

what do you mean status? The other persons? are they the queen? Do you man in RL or on here>?

x posts.

Oh I see. Is ignoring at all possible?

take all her pens - everyday from her office before she gets in.

mess her filing up

try to get her log - in name and look at porn send yourself an e-mail from her

and report it to IT

What I have learnt is, do not confront people that you will have to work with in future.

Vent your bitterness elsewhere. And do as Custy says, obviously.

custardo - what an evil yet creative mind you have

Is this in RL? If so, a tough one and i shall watch thread because I'm no good at dealing with bitches either.

But if it's on here then just ignore it - not worth it you know!!

But do make sure there are no cctv cameras filming you doing all that stuff, and probably wear gloves as well to prevent fingerprints.
And make sure you have been into her office for an innocent reason as well, in case you leave hairs or any other material with DNA in it.

She is in RL. (Very, very real)

Relationship more complex - she has a business that shares premises with us. Her husband is DH's business partner (he is the business brain - DH provides the expertise). She has run her business down because she has alienated so many people she has almost no staff left, and is taking it out on us - 'borrowing' our staff and making catty comments about our practices. One of those who thinks she know everything, but knows very little - using rich, powerful DH to get whatever she wants (all the time).

I am really going to spontaneously combust before too much longer.

No amount of status jusifies rude, etc behaviour.

Gorillagram (with appropriate ditty) timed to arrive when she is seeking to impress someone.

Very gingerly, you don't want to get your fingers dirty
On a serious note, I'm all for ignoring where possible and being as cheerful and full of life as I possibly can whilst being around said bitch. Her aim in life is to upset and be noticed, so don't give her the satisfaction.

We share an office, but she doesn't work in it, really. Spends most of her time elsewhere. When I come in in the morning she has always left stuff on my desk, jobs she wants me to do for her (I don't work for her!!!!) and I know full well that anything I leave in the office - even in my desk drawer - will be read. She doesn't disguise the fact, but she goes through my stuff regularly, checking for anything she can complain about/use against us. I am not being paranoid - it is true.I have found her in the ofiice in near darkness going through the filing cabinet. She has to know what everyone is being paid, how many hours they work, whether they have taken any holiday. It's none of her business and it's also the reason she has no staff left.

Blimey, has she no life!

Can you move premises?

I think the borrowing staff thing could potentially be quite serious because she might cause your staff to leave too. TBH it's really up to her dh to handle it, but if he hasn't said or done anything up until now he probably won't. But I think you should still raise it with him that her attitude might cause staffing probs in his and your DH's company.

WRT catty comments about your practices I think you could say something neutral like "I'll bear that in mind and I'll pass your comments on to your DH, unless you'd rather do it yourself", then perhaps when you've had quite a few comments "There are quite a few things that bother you about sharing premises with us, aren't there? Are you sure it wouldn't be better for your business to have separate premises. Perhaps you would like to discuss it with X (her dh)".

I really feel for you, sometimes the whole working together with spouses/other people's spouses thing is just impossible.

Au contraire - she has a wonderful life. A very indulged life and more money than you would believe (her DH is very successful). She has it all and should be happy, but seeks to assert her authority over everyone. She's been a right mardy cow lately. She can be really fun and good company, but she is not a good person at the bottom of it all. Very bitter and jealous when she has nothing really to be jealous about. She gets everything she wants, materially and spiritually (her DH and kids adore and indulge her)

First thing I'd do is get a lockable filing cabinet.

Are your DHs equal business partners? How does your DH feel about her?

Print this thread and just leave it in your in-tray!

bran, she has already caused us staff problems. Trouble is, her DH thinks the sun shines out of her, and she gives him an awful hard time if she doesn't get her own way. If anything happens at all, she's on the phone to him straight away, and she will make is life miserable until he does something about it.