How do you handle a bitch?

[GrumpyOldHorsewoman]

If someone is being nasty, narky and unpleasant, but status prevents you from venting your true feelings, how do you deal with it?

All advice please, before I explode from bitterness and resentment.

Crossed with your last post - lock drawers and cabinets and return work she has left for you with a post it saying "Sorry, too busy with work to do this".

Speak to her husband and your husband - if her husband has a good business brain he will agree that the situation is untenable.

That's unacceptable behaviour and I would not be afraid to confront this; put locks on all your filing cabinets with any sensitive info in.
Any information you hold concerning personal details of directors or employees or anything should be locked away anyway (Data protection).

Next time you find her doing it just ask her why she needs to do this, if she has no role within your business then she should keep her nose out and concentrate on her own clientele and employees (sounds like she needs to!).

Do you have any complaints about her on record ? )disgruntled customers? Former employees .. if so I would create a large file with COMPLAINTS written in neon with large post it notes TO ACTION and leave it casually on my desk

Actually why not create false letters if there are none

Or is that evil?

(btw on my last day of maternity leave I did accidentally delete/rearrange at random my bastard boss from hell's diary (the idiot never kept a back up) It took him weeks to sort out

Runs off snickering

(Yes I know its childish)

Her DH controls the business finances for his & Dh's business. Think 'Dragons Den' and you get an idea of their business arrangement. Rich businessman-investor/man with loads of talent but not enough capital to be financially independent. That's her DH and mine.

Actually thinking about it, I would just have it out with her tbh. I'd ask her if we could have a chat (which I would rehearse in my head, because I hate to be unprepared) and I would sit down and talk to her about it, as civilly as possible.

What sort of things does she ask you to do then?

Hmmm, so do you think if you offend her you run the risk of her persuading her DH to withdraw funding from the company or making your life difficult.

It does really depend on what your DH thinks and probably the exact contract that exists between them.

It does sound really messy.

Can you stop the borrowing staff on the basis of employer's liability insurance. I assume that your business carries insurance in relation to the actions of your staff and against harm coming to them. The insurance will probably not be valid if they are not engaged in carrying out your business but are off doing tasks for her. Tell her, you just can't risk it.

Go out to a DIY store and buy locks for your filing cabinet. Data Protection Legislation requires you to store files in a secure way and you thought locks on filing cabinets containing personnel records might helk.

Whiile you are there, you might as well buy a lock for your desk.

Ezactly that, chopchop. What she says, goes. My Dh has been phenomenally successful for the company, but her DH would pull the plug without too much thought if his wife told him to - she did it before when he was in partnership with someone else, so she has form. I know I can't have anything out with her - we had a 'situation' last week involving my DH, the outcome of which left me flabbergasted (too long to go into). I know I can't constructively do anything with her - I just need to know how to handle her or rise above it without getting too worked up. I am generally a very easy going person, and have a high tolerance threshold, but when I blow the red mist descends and I can get nasty. I don't want to end up like that because it would probably destroy DH's business. Not being dramatic - she would get the plug pulled, that's her way.

Take up yoga/meditation
Count to ten
Get locks

Secretly plot the old bags doom

I would confront her but in private. I would keep to the facts and say how unhappy you are.Try not to be accusatory.Say you are finding it very difficult to do your job. say you are worried about what was going on as she seems very anxious- ask her if this has to do with the business, because you are beginning to feel like you are not being told everything.Make sure you are clear about the situatiion not being acceptable( or good practice)
Keep calm at all times. be neutral. Let her open up and talk to you. Tel dh that you have spoken to her and let him know your concerns.
It sounds like something else is going on behind the scenes and you have become the scapegoat.

If your dh is successful, can he not try and get some funding elsewhere? There are people out there looking for viable options and talented people to put their money into.

Did they set the business up together as a joint venture and is it profitable? If so, then your dh should have as much clout as the other guy. If the other guy has good business acumen then he will not want to lose your dh surely - someone as successful as that will not have got there by acting on the whims of a woman like that!

I think count to 10 is the only answer then.

Now that your DH has a proven track record could he obtain funding from elsewhere?
If her DH is in a position to pull the plug financially, then maybe your DH has an option to take his expertise to another backer.

x post wisteria

failing everything else -slash her tyres- it is the phsycological equivalent of deflating her ego.

Could you not arrange a business meeting with her to formalise business procedures. For example, maybe her dh has told her that she should be keeping an eye on staffing issues such as pay/holidays etc. Maybe, he has told her that she can delegate work to you (obviously without discussing it with you). Make an agenda and position it as a 'growing the business' exercise to streamline processes. Try not to let her get to you - hard I know - just try to think of it as managing the problem!