Feminist dilemma about surnames

[Prunie]

I am really quite militant (for myself) about not having changed my name on getting married. I've had to insist on my own surname several times.
I want to set up in business - and my name will be a big part of it. Now, my surname is boring, and very common. DH's is a bit exotic and different but hard to spell.
Do I - with his permission - use his name? Or at least double barrel? Are 'different' names more memorable?
Is this a total cop-out and a bit stinky, really?

Hmmm. I have a very unusual surname and no sod can ever remember it so exotic names don't always work in your favour.

Why are your names so important - how will they be used?

I changed my name on marriage. I now have a first name and a surname that no-one can spell, rather than just a first name. I was quite glad to get rid of my old surname a) as I was a bit notorious and everyone knew me and b) I went to school with a load of kids who had tellystocracy sleb parents and everyone assumed that my father was one of them (due to easily spelled but slightly unusual surname and their sleb backgrounds). I got tired of saying, no, he's not my father. Bizarrely, it followed me to work, this rumour, and it was a bit of a relief when I changed it.

I think what I am trying to say (after a bottle of Sav Blanc) is that having a different, more memorable name, can have the wrong effect.

But if you are not a slapper, Prunie, and no-one is going to think you are the daughter of a sleb then go for it!

I have an extremely unusual, hard to spell surname. I am enormously attached to it, and nothing would make me part from it. But I'm not sure that it's an advantage in my professional life - the fact that no one can spell it is a problem tbh.

I'd say keep your own name, and just come up with a more interesting one for the business. (But hard to think how this would work in the abstract...)

Having said that, my surname (unchanged on marriage!) is unusual and my dad successfully ran a business with that name as the business name for many years, so it's not a complete no-no.

I don't think it is a very good idea to use a name that is hard to spell for a business.

OK, so is a hard-to-spell name a bad idea, then? DH and MIL have done ok, she in particular hasn't had a problem in her career.

lol I am not a slapper but am intrigued about you now

Another aspect to this is that dh's family are so much more my family than my own are, iyswim, and I know it would mean something to them if I changed. And to me too, if I'm honest.

Just can't decide if this is a bit naff or not.

Mine is madly memorable but notoriously unspellable.

Being as how I am very impressionable, this has reminded me of an article in yesterday's Media Guardian about internet search architecture - basically, everyone should spend every second of every day thinking about how to make their business easy to Google. It sounds as though your name would be ideal in this respect, in that people wouldn't have to guess how to spell it.

It's an interesting question, though - is it anti-feminist to keep your own name in your personal life but use DH's name in your professional life - kind of like Cherie Booth/Blair in reverse. (For some reason, it reminds me of the joke about John Major running away from the circus to join a bank.) I think you could probably argue that it's fair enough - it's just a question of choosing the most effective name for your business, I'd say.

I like having an unspellable name. It gives me licence to get Shirty with people.

I used to give boyfriends' names in restaurants to get round the spellability.

Then I met Mr Inferior whose name is equally unspellable.

Then we inflicted both names on the Inferiorettes, in a gesture which probably justifies the more benevolent forms of eugenics, really. For us, not the girls.

Would you be changing it for everything? Or just the business?

Just the business would be a bit off but everything would be a big gesture.

I changed mine quite happilyafter a lot of soul searching beforehand. The fact that it is a slightly nicer name than mine maiden name has nothing to do with it, oh no .

you need to be Googleable
you don't want to have to return cheques to people because they've spelt your name so badly wrong the bank won't accept them
you don't want people choosing a rival business because they don't want to embarrass themselves by getting your name wrong

But pw, my own name is so very very very common. I like that, in that nobody can find me on the net, on facebook etc - but not cool for business, I don't think.

Motherinferior's name is I can confirm quite weird and wonderful (to my ear). And yet, it hasn't held you back, MI, has it?

Not from being a slapper, no.

Very good point about cheques, Kathy (HELLO btw)

why not have a business name that isn't a surname?

I went double barrelled - big mistake.

but your point about your name being so common people can't find you online is also good

(Hello! Like the new -e on your name!)

I think that your business will pretty important in your sense of identity, and therefore you should use the name which is important enough for you to insist on.

Would it feel like you otherwise? I did change my name when I married, and the other day unearthed my thesis - which is in my old name. It was odd. Like it wasn't quite my work...

I changed my name because dh's name is unusual and mine isn't. but I still insist on "Ms" - that's how I deal with it.

also dh promised - and I believe him - that had my name been the unusual one, he would have changed his name to mine. I've not had to return a cheque yet, though that may be because I do most of my business by email.

but anyway, all that aside, does the business have to use your real name? why don't you use a nice, brandable word instead?

You could call it The Prune Project.

Prunie - slate wiped clean and born-again-virgin with a nice white dress.

I like being the only one of me if I google myself. (I was the only one last time I looked anyway.)

I was madly envious of my cousins (I am of Eastern European Jewish descent on my mother's side) when I was younger because they had unusual names containing Zs.

My grandmother still spells my name the German way, with a "J". It's in the family bible spelled that way, too.

Prunerific

lol. Listen to MrsS. It was she who convinced me to go for the unusual name actually, on google grounds.

Prunissimo

A Jewish bible?