Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

would you let your dc go to a swim party when they couldnt swim?

31 replies

MamaMaiasaura · 14/11/2007 15:42

In a dilemma and probably worrying excessively.

Ds is 7 and although has swimming lessons every week I would not yet class him as a proper swimmer as still in learner pool. He has been invited to a pool party. Is in the main pool, depth of shallow end is 1m so up to his armpits/shoulder area. HE refuses to wear armbands as no-one else will.

I did call the pool to check if this was ok and they said its fine we will have lifeguards Like i want ds to need th eassistance of a lifeguard.

I am probably being overly protective but am worried.

Anyone's non swimming dc been to a pool party?

OP posts:
Lulumama · 14/11/2007 15:45

i kept DS away from 2 swimming parties for this reason:

firstly, i could not and would not go in the pool, i would have had to find someone to mind DD

secondly, he would have felt embarrased having his mum there to look after him

thirdly, he did not want to wear armbands and feel embarassed as no-one else would be wearing them

i would not feel comfortable letting a lifeguard or someone elses parent take reponsibility for my child

HuwEdwards · 14/11/2007 15:45

DD has been invited to one next week (although she can swim) and the parents have asked me to go in the pool to help generally.

Could you do this?

Other than that, yes I would let her go even if she couldn't swim.

Original poster
MamaMaiasaura · 14/11/2007 15:52

I am heavily pregnant so me in a swimming cozzy is a bit of a laugh

Ds doesnt want me in the pool as not so cool to have mum there

THe girls whose party it is parents will be there however will have their hands full as thier other child has autism and is only little.

The mum still hasnt been able to tell me what pool it is in (I ended up calling pool myself)

The mother is also not the most 'aware' adult iykwim

I could watch him from the cafe and if any problems heave my weeble body down there

Really really tempted to say no to invite but ds desperate to go

Might take him seperatley to pool (looking like a beached whale) and actually see how he managed the main pool.

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaMaiasaura · 14/11/2007 15:53

also the mum doesnt seem to want other parents in the pool.

OP posts:
Moomin · 14/11/2007 15:56

I wouldn't go then. Not an option unless I was allowed in pool. Is there anyone else who could go in with him (dh/dp/adult friend of yours)?

SoupDragon · 14/11/2007 15:58

No, I wouldn't unless I could lurk within rescuing distance.

perpetualworrier · 14/11/2007 16:02

They'll be lots of floating toys for him to hold onto and a 7 yr old's survival instinct is pretty strong, I don't think you need to worry.

Find out what the adult to child ratio is. When a friend had this type of party, she asked me to get in with them, because she needed to make the numbers of adults up.

fircone · 14/11/2007 16:15

no, no, no. With a lot of splashing children, a non-swimmer could easily sink and not be noticed for long enough for a tragedy to occur.

EmilyDavidson · 14/11/2007 16:20

Go with your instincts awen ,if you are "worrying excessively" them maybe its not such a good idea.

For what its worth i would never have let ds or dd into a pool without me or dh until they could swim like fish

LIZS · 14/11/2007 16:23

dd went to one last year , before she could swim. I was prepared to go in but there were enough adults in the water already to supervise so I stayed on the side.

notjustmom · 14/11/2007 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Surfermum · 14/11/2007 16:25

No I wouldn't, not if I couldn't be in the pool and watching them like a hawk.

The lifeguards will be scanning everyone in the pool and not specifically looking out for your son.

Lol @ perpetualworrier NOT worrying about it!

lljkk · 14/11/2007 16:33

Sod whether the host mum wants other parents there. & Stuff your own pride about the beached whale look. Never heard of anybody refusing extra bodies and help at a swimming party (that is just weird).

I would insist to son and party hostess that I had to sit on side of pool (cafe not good enough), appearing to read a book if necesssary, or he's not going.

MrsSlocomb · 14/11/2007 16:35

ds1 had one recently. A friend of his nearly drowned because I was not told he couldn't swim ffs and his parents didn't get in the pool with him!! Actually they didn't even come to the party! Some people are plain stupid.

canmummy · 14/11/2007 16:40

My dc went to one last year and they only went because my dh took them and got into the water with them. In fact, the local pool wouldn't let the party go ahead unless there was an appropriate ratio of adults to children. Wouldn't let looking like a beached whale stop me from keeping my dc safe

cece · 14/11/2007 16:42

I had this a few weeks ago with DD, she is a non swimmer (6). No lessons but does go occasionally to the pool with my mum. But never been on her own without an adult to hold her - she is quite nervous.

Firstly I know the parents quite well and told them she couldn't swim - they checked with the pool and they siad that was fine.

Then found out it was in learners pool so shallow all over the pool iyswim.

I told DD if she went she had to wear arm bands. She was not happy but was desparate to go so agreed.

I also went poolside at the party and told the lifeguards she couldn't swim. They said she had to wear arm bands...

I stayed and lurked at edge for 15 mins to reassure myself she was OK. At first she stood on steps and looked like she was going to cry, then two of her friends spotted her and brought her some floats to hold. Within minutes she was joining in pretty well but cautiously with the others.

Interestingly she was the only non swimmer and now wants lessons - she has always refused to go to them previously...

LittleBella · 14/11/2007 16:43

No

I just can't be bothered to put my dc's in unnecessary life-threatening situations which don't benefit them particularly. If you weren't pregnant and the other mother was happy to have other helpers, I'd say yes. But she sounds a bit mad tbh. Who on earth would turn down help at any type of children's party, let alone a pool one?

Surfermum · 14/11/2007 16:46

Being in the water when you're heavily pg is fab, I used to love it. Your bump just feels ten times heavier when you get out.

madness · 14/11/2007 16:46

ds went to someone's 7th b-party and there were lots of other parents IN the water. They usually have a ratio of 1 adults and 4? children

NAB3littlemonkeys · 14/11/2007 17:21

In answer to the OP he would only be able to go if one of us could go in with him.

welshdeb · 14/11/2007 17:27

I have had pool parties for my dc in the past. In my experience the pools all insisted on appropraite adult child ratios for all children under 7.
this was 2 to 1 for over 5 and 1 to 1 for under 5
they would not allow party to go ahead unless these were in place.

Original poster
MamaMaiasaura · 14/11/2007 21:29

Right, thank you for your replies.

You are right, I shouldnt let looking like a beached whale stop me (and i wouldnt let it for his safety) I had considered taking ds to the pool this weekend and see how it is laid out etc, and how he manages.

I think i will say to the mum as he is a non swimmer I will accompany him. (well he has 20 metre badge but as i said before has only properly swam in learner pool and I figure if he was ready for the main pool he would be in that group)

The mum is weird (dont know if any of you saw thread about ds playdate been cancelled on halloween, same woman). She couldnt even tell me what pool the party was in and I had to resort to contacting the centre myself. If I was organsiing the party i would definately get all that sort of information! Also looks like the whole class going and cant see the adult to child ratio being that great.

I guess I was a bit worried about being so assertive to this woman as she is a bit strange and I didnt want to 'molly coddle' my son but it just doesnt feel right, hence the thread and was at the point of simply turning down the invite.

I will speak to the mum tomorrow (yikes) and say that ds really isnt a good swimmer and I would feel happier to be there on hand and express poolside (as she will say, you can watch from cafe).

Ds is most important here, hope i didnt give the impression that my looks were more so as they certainly arent. I just didnt know if i was being completely over sensitive giving my current condition iyswim.

OP posts:
moondog · 14/11/2007 21:31

No
No
No
No
NO
No
NO

Original poster
MamaMaiasaura · 14/11/2007 21:31

The same woman doesnt understand why for example, weekends are family time in our home (ds sees his dad every other and plays rugby on sunday so saturday is a day we spend together). She clearly has completely different views to me.

OP posts:
Boogalooblue · 14/11/2007 21:32

Bit late here, but fwiw my answer is...........

No No and thrice No