What your children will be when they grow up - will you emphasise money or enjoyment ? Or will you hope they find something that coincidentally provides both?

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Do you or will you encourage your children to do something they love for a living even if you know it won't pay well or will you steer them in the direction of more cash?

As we all know that you don't get paid in accordance with how clever you are or how valuable the work is (well, I would argue so since midwives aren't paid royally and some people make vast sums as footballers or glamour models) will you steer your children away from jobs that don't pay well or will you consider it unimportant and want them to carry on and be an artist if that's what they want? Or are you so rich that it won't matter because they'll be trustafarians?

I know there are exceptions, not all artists are struggling financially and plenty of people aren't well off but are happy but interested to know what you think.

dh and I are providing the best possible example. DH is an actor, I am a recruitment consultant. I earn 3 x what he does, but he does it beciuse he 'has' to.

Like others said I want my dd's to have enough education to have choices. For dd1 that will be a min of 5 GCSE's and if she goes on from there, I will be so pleased for her,. She is not academic and will find a job that doesn't need exams, I think she will be quite artisitc but behind teh scenes IYKWIM.

DD2 is really really bright and could do ANYTHING at the mo she wants to be a teacher - she is 6

So I suppose I will encourage them to live up to their potential, whatever it is

My family are all bright enough, but genetically incapable of ambition. I wish for my son happiness beyond all other considerations.

And if, by chance, he does break the mould, I sincerely hope he doesn't have to climb any greasy poles to get there!

I heard someone say once 'if you have a hobby you can earn a living from them you are a very lucky person' I was never that lucky!!
As long as they enjoy what they do, if they earn good money then so much the better.

dh was 8 when he decided to be a pilot. He ended up as a fighter pilot in the RAF.

He could have moved out into commercial jets, and earned a shed load more money, but chose to stay in the RAF, as he loved the flying and the people.

I was in school with a kid who wanted to be a cartoonist, all the teachers used to tell him that he had to do a 'real' job. He was the author and producer of 'Surfs Up' the sony realesed cartoon of surfing penguins. I guess that he can buy and sell most of our old teachers!

Enjoyment - no amount of money can compensate for a job you loathe imo.

Why does it have to be a case of loathing or loving a job, poverty or riches - don't most of us settle somewhere in the middle anyway? Doing a job we enjoy to varying degrees and paying the bills. How many of us are actually doing what our parents wanted for us, does anyone really believe they will have that much influence over their children's choices once they are adults?

Couldn't put it better,Hekate!!

Re the money thing. My old dad always used to say, 'Money doesn't buy you happiness, but it lets you be miserable in comfort'

being able to have enough money to pay the bills without worrying is, I think, quite important. If you can do that, and like your job as well, you are fortunate. If you can do it, and love your job, then so much the better.

I don't expect to have miuch influences at all. I'll point a few things out, that's all. Then it's up to them.

I actually have ahem a bit of a problem with a lot of really high paying jobs anyway. As they tend to be not always how shall I put it the most right-on areas

I like the fact that my job is worthy. It allows me to be a smug bitch

I think that you should have dreams and be encouraged by your parents to achieve them. I think that if you 'do something you love you will never work a day in your life'. I also think that it is an unusual person who knows what they want to be as a teenager.

DD can do what she likes as long as she is stimulated and happy.

I think both are important. I would like them to be able to buy a house when they are adults, which for a lot of careers is currently pretty well impossible. Ds1 currently wants to be an actor - I could imagine him being very good at that (bearing in mind he is 6!), but I would encourage him to train as something else (eg plumber/electrician) to fund it. He is quite academic though so I think he will change his mind, but do something on the arts side. Dd is very bright, she veers (at the age of 4) between wanting to be a doctor, vet or clown.

We always give every job the same 'ranking' in our house - I was MAD with my dad when ds1 said he wanted to be a firefighter and he said 'Is that all?' simply because it isn't necessarily a graduate career. If ds1 was a firefighter I would be very proud!

Wouldn't it be lovely to think they could have both. Unfortunately that might not be the case. I think the thing to do is to encourage them to really think about what they might want to do. There are so many careers out there that I never even considered and before you know it you're on a career path and have responsibilities which make it very difficult to change.

I'm lucky in that I enjoy what I do and get paid a lot of money for it. DH on the other hand has the same job but really dislikes it. It would be very difficult for us to decide that he could change jobs thogh because we have commitments which make us dependent on the money.

DD, now 17, wants to be a social worker, working with problem teenagers. This is probably because most of her friends seem to be problem teenagers and she does seem quite good at sorting out their problems. She knows that social workers pay is not the best, but reckons she'll be OK, because she'll marry her current bf (of 2 months)& he's doing music tech at university & will end up as a wealthy record producer.
The optimism of youth!
(Actually his dad is a fairly wealthy record producer, so she may be right..)

DS always wanted to be a journalist, but now he's studying History & Politics at Warwick & he does seem to be leaning towards the political side.

So I may end up with a social worker and a politician - and spend all my time defending the two professions on MN!

That's exactly what my 17 year old daughter wants to do! My sister is a social worker and is barely above tax credit level but she is happy enough, it takes a while to get to the point where you can earn an ok living though doesn't it?

Something that's struck me: there's a difference between a career and skills. I would like my daughters to have skills that enable them to earn a reasonable (and yes I realise I've left that undefined) living. I would also like them to be able to do things with their lives that they find fulfilling and interesting, and given that paid work tends to take up so much of our time it would be good if they could find a way of earning a living that engaged them to some degree, using said saleable skills.

On the other hand there's also a difference between a career and a life. I'd hate them to get the two completely confused.

tough one. first and foremost i would empthasise work, that money is needed to live. not very inspirational i know but realistic all the same.

so we get a level where they have enough money to live. would i encourage them to do something they loved which would just about keep them afloat, or something they hated which would bring in a magnificent wage? something they loved i guess, as long as it paid for them to live.

i dont particularly like my job. i dont hate it, but i cant say i get anything out of it either. so maybe thats ok too, because i support my family.

this is theoretically speaking as i know i'll never be "well off", but i have done a job i hated and i wouldn't go back there for all the money in the world. if you're going to spend most of your life in a place you hate, stressed out and miserable..is it worth it? i dont think so personally. it does have an impact on your family.

kerrymum, i really wish you wouldnt make comments like that btw. why do we have to bring council houses etc into it yet again. im not having a go at all, i just dont think its really relevant to the conversation.

MI has got there before me. I want mine to do worthy things, with a bit of an edge. Perhaps a road protestor and a novelist/artist and some sort of community activist. Or I'd like them to save the rainforests or live in a yurt doing forestry in Welsh mountains (I'd visit now and then, before returning to my old people's cooperative communal retirement right-on village - with central heating).

I'd like them to be totally uninterested in money and possessions, though I know that's unrealistic cos I've been there and sometimes have regretted it.

I don't know - I think that if given that all jobs/careers have ups and downs, as much to do with who you are working with as what you are doing, I would encourage them to go for something that would be reasonably well paid. It's bloody expensive to live in the UK now.

If DD turns out to have a real passion and talent for some particular path, I'd encourage her to go with that. Theres not much point attempting a career as an artist, actor or scientist unless you have what it takes (there are a lot of crap jobs in science nowadays and relatively few good and secure ones.)

If not, then I think we'd try to guide her towards a worthwile career which is always going to be in demand anywhere she wants to live. Teaching, healthcare... DH even says accountancy or law but I'm not sure I can see DD being happy with those! Because if you aren't passionate about your work then it may be more important to you where you live for what you can do outside of work.

haven't read thread
good question, dd1 said the other day (playing with her doctor's kit) I want to be a vet nurse
I said, quite firmly, why don't you be a vet instead? they get to be in charge
I think she thinks vet = man, nurse = woman

I want DS to do something that makes him happy and which provides enough income to live reasonably comfortably and most importantly enough time off to enjoy everything else.

Ideally I'd like mine to do something they love - it doesn't matter what the money is.

However, firstly I know that this isn't always possible (most people I know don't love their jobs) and secondly, at least with the older 2, I know they are academically very able, and will be hugely disappointed if they don't go to further education of some kind.

ds has wanted to do something with endangered species for a while or be involved with nature, and dd1 currently would like to write. Today both of them sat down unprompted and produced a magazine together .