life throws stuff at some of us that is just too **BIG**

[NotAnOtter]

thats the only way i can describe where i am at the moment
99% of the populous just cannot comprehend how shit things can be and i would not want them to.
the enormity of the crap i have had in my life is just - well - unfair.
thats it really

second what CD said about the wrong therapist. My mum had a terrible counsellor who left her feeling worse than when she went in. Changed to someone else and only had about 3 or four sessions before realising that what she was feeliong was completely normal and that she could in fact cope with everything. She always says that the second therapist saved her life (she had in fact previously attempted suicide).

She has never looked back since and this was 8 years ago.

Of course the shit that happened to her still happened to her (IYSWIM), but it's now back then and not here and now (again IFSWIM)

thankyou issy and kew
yes i am sure you are right - had not had therapy before and got given this bloke - i knew after 2nd session he was not right for me - i told him but he kind of glossed over it
carried on for a few more weeks but felt ( sorry if this sounds shit) that he did not know enough about my type of situation and was not qualified enough to understand...?

I left and then nhs said i could have cbt but would have to wait
have a psychiatrist but he is basically just a dealer and i dont want drugs
just have to help self
feel like i have PTSD now! which is odd 25 years on - if that is possible

I'm sure it is very possible NAO. It is amazing what the mind can ignore until it can't ignore it any more. Problem/flashbacks can start many years later. ANd its very hard to beleive that people will take you seriously (and some won't) but a good therapist will.

My mums therapist was a psychologist not psychiatrist.

should add that her first therapist was a "counsellor" attached to local GP's surgery. I personally think she wasn't well trained enough for the really serious stuff.

awww NotanOtter , heres some (((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))) for you, I dont know what it is thats happened , but you came onto my thread and I appreciated that. We can sit togethere on the edge of the pit and make sure we dont fall in hey! May be set up camp a bit further away !!!

Unfortunately untreated PTSD can rear up if something triggers things. EFT is amazing for it and very quick.

Aww NAO...sorry you are having a difficult time...and yes, I often think that some people just have to go through so much shite, and usually it's the good people...

Its emotional freedom technique , its a sort of finger tapping , acupuncture thing. Its hard to explain, worked wonders on my PTSD. I think its still seen as quite progressive , not sure if anyone NHS uses it as yet.

NAO, I'm sure that this will not really help by 'solving' anything, but there is an excellent CBT therapy which you can access free on line. I think it is run by the Health Authority in Glsgow, but you don't have to be in glasgow to access it. It is put together by professionsals and it very 'real'

While this wouldn't be as good as face to face CBT, it may help bridge the gap unteil you can get an apointment,

This isn't an aswer either, but FWIW I just try to keep my mind focused on the good stuff and deliberlty try not to get bogged down in the horrible negative 'why me'. I don't always succeed, but I find that distraction can be very helpful....I've good very good at suduku for example.

Hope that things feel better for you soon

THis is the link to the online CBT course

I think your title says it all NAO. It is stuff thrown at us, not what we choose. I have no great philosophical wisdom to impart or to help you, I can only say what I do which is to live from day to day, looking towards the future rather than drowning in the sadness of the past.

If you dwell too much on the crap, it overwhelms you and the crap wins. Regret is a sticky black tar that taints everything.

Life can be unfair and cruel but we only get one go at it, which is a naff truism but so real.

You have to be strong and get this part of your life over and done with, a few short weeks of crap to close the chapter on the misery before it. You can do it.

Email me if you like.

xxx

Oh NAO, I'm sorry to hear that you're having a tough time. I certainly don't have any answers, but if you want to write it all down and just send it to someone, then you have my email address, and I'm happy to read or not read as you desire.

MB - my mum got very good at Sudoku too! Perhaps they should prescribe it on NHS.

I also did EMDR , its very unsual technique , not easy I must say , although I was heavily pregnant when doing it and we had to stop , as I felt odd for days after. Im sure it helped in some ways. As the episodes it dealt with I can talk much more matter of factly about and they dont eat away as much.

alroght otter

feeling a bit overwhelmed by the amazing response on here. Will read it all more carefully and answer you all when I have a bit more time
NEWSFLASH

'Mumsnet restores womans faith in Human Nature'

Will follow this up later when ihave returned from the delights of my ( wait for it) 'Support Group'
Thanks again

Message withdrawn

NAO, can only echo the advice of others, you will get over it eventually, leaving only residual traces of bitterness. Invest in yourself and the future.
It IS grossly unfair how some people seem to get so much more horrible stuff than others.
you sound as though you are at the bottom of the pit at the moment, wish you strength on your journey out of it. At least you can cut the link and make sure your own children have a better start to life (if I have understood your situation correctly).

NAO I really feel for you. Having family of your own makes it worse. Cant comprehend treating yours the same.

There is another type of therapy that used to be done at a hospital I worked at. Will look it up.

psychosynthesis