Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

supposed to be going out tonight........

37 replies

Titania · 15/10/2004 15:53

first time me and DH have been out together for a year and a half. I am terrified of leaving the kids though. I have got a headache that I really want to get rid of. I don't really want to go out but then theres the ego thing with DH of 'don't you want to spend time with me'. I'm just as happy curled up on the sofa with a dvd.....he isn't....never has been. Even at the weekends he wants to go out here there and everywhere and I don't. I'm really scared of leaving the kids cos I know MIL will go against every rule I set cos she always does. I've been frantic all day trying to get all the houseowork done otherwise I know MIL will interfere and do it while I'm out. I still don't feel right after collapsing at the weekend anyway. What the hell am I supposed to do.........

OP posts:
welshmum · 15/10/2004 15:57

If you really don't want to go then make that happen. Cancel MIL. Sit down with DH, hold his hand, tell him you really don't want to go out, suggest a take away to share and then maybe a dvd. Say you'll see if you're up to it next weekend.
I hope you have a good evening titania and that things get better soon x

codswallop · 15/10/2004 15:58

whats wrong with mil doing hte housework?
cant you puthe kids to bed then go out?

Beetroot · 15/10/2004 15:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Titania · 15/10/2004 15:59

i hate anyone else doing my housework. its just how i am.

OP posts:
codswallop · 15/10/2004 15:59

well I relly htink yopu need to let go a bit!

Original poster
Titania · 15/10/2004 16:00

i cant

OP posts:
lou33 · 15/10/2004 16:02

Have a bath, take a headache pill, and go and enjoy a much needed break away from the kids. One evening of broken rules won't harm them in the long term. Hope you have a good time.

lou33 · 15/10/2004 16:03

Ooh snap , Beety!

codswallop · 15/10/2004 16:03

isnt it the mils job to t spoil he kids?

Beetroot · 15/10/2004 16:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lou33 · 15/10/2004 16:04

Am flattered I match up to your loveliness in your opinion

codswallop · 15/10/2004 16:04

now THAT is weird

yingers74 · 15/10/2004 16:05

Titania, like beetroot says go out! I know it is hard to let go, i find it really hard to leave my dd even with my dh. I worry that she won't be fed properly, not take naps etc etc But they will survive and all MILs break the rules, they are here to try us!

Original poster
Titania · 15/10/2004 16:07

but she doesnt listen to anything i ask her to do or not to do.....im on my own tomorrow with the kids and the last thing i need is for them to be grotty through lack of sleep..........

OP posts:
Beetroot · 15/10/2004 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Titania · 15/10/2004 16:11

we are supposed to be going to the cinema. the film doesnt start til 9.30. I've already had a shower and washed my hair.

OP posts:
hester · 15/10/2004 16:11

Titania, apologies if I'm off-beam, but is your MIL's behaviour really the reason you don't want to go out tonight? Or is that an easier discussion to have with your dp than something more fundamental? I ask because it sounds from your post that there may be something more going on. Is it depression? Is it a growing distance between you and your dp?

ggglimpopo · 15/10/2004 16:14

Message withdrawn

CountessDracula · 15/10/2004 16:15

Goodness me, come on just do it!!! I adore going out, it's good for your soul to get out there and be kid free, go for a nice meal or have chips and champagne in local bus shelter or anything, just get out there!

lou33 · 15/10/2004 16:17

If the film doesn't start til 9.30, what tme are you leaving and what time do the kdsi go to bed? Would they be in bed before she arrives? I don't think the odd night off from routine is too bad tbh, maybe she thinks she is helping by doing housework, and just indulging her gc's. My mum would be the same if she were still alive, but she only ever did it out of kindness, not because she was interfering. Mil otoh, don't even start me. She doesn't see us tho.

cat82 · 15/10/2004 16:20

Sweetie...you already know my thoughts..but to reiterate. Go, See how it goes, keep an open mind, and come home if you really, really aren't enjoying it. You may well be surprised!
Good luck

xxx

whitefeather · 15/10/2004 16:24

its hard to get ready and go out when you really dont feel up to it! you'd probs have a lovely time and enjoy yourself, but if yu really dont wanna go why dont you get a bottle of wine in, and put the kids to bed and have a night focusing on just each other! sure he'll like that just as much wink wink x

Original poster
Titania · 15/10/2004 16:35

the kids go to bed just after 7. However the baby is a bit of a nightmare for settling and waking up when he has dropped his dummy. MIL doesnt agree with dummies and I know she wont let him have it back which is making me panic a bit.....the fact that I can just imagine her having a screaming baby on her hands purely because she won't do one simple thing.

Hester Me and DH are ok....thats not the reason I don't want to go out. I just panic about leaving my kids. I was abused by my grandfather when I was little and although I know my inlaws wouldn't do that kind of thing, I find it hard to trust anyone with my kids except me. I even panic if I have to leave them with DH. It's just how I am. Yes I am depressed at the moment which is making it all the more difficult just to even get up in the mornings.

OP posts:
whitefeather · 15/10/2004 16:40

it must be hard for you, have a good evening what ever you do, try and do something special if you end up staying in or going out xx

Waswondering · 15/10/2004 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.