So, how important do you think your relationship is compared to the importance of your children? And what percentage effort do you expend on each do you think?

[WideWebWitch]

Following on from this thread (about leaving a small baby to go away with husband), where we started talking about parents needs compared to childrens needs, I'm interested to know how important people think parents needs are.

What priority do you and your partner/husband/wife give to your relationship compared to that you give your children? Can you put a percentage on it in terms of time/effort?

And when you think about the time you spend with and on your children as opposed to with your partner do you think you've got it about right or do you wish you had more time to spend with your husband/partner/wife (if you're a bloke)? Or do you wish you had more time with your children?

I think time with your partner is important, but it doesn't always have to be huge amounts of time or going away together or 'special' time. For us, little amounts of time very regularly are what count rather than planned time away or evenings out.

We're very lucky because we're both at home quite a bit during the week (my husband works from home a lot), so unless I'm out and about we will always have lunch together and perhaps a few coffee breaks during the day. Then we have always had some time to ourselves after the children have gone to bed. That time is getting shorter now the children are getting older, but we still end every day with some time to ourselves. And every now and then my husband will have a day off work when the children are at school (most of his days off are for family time), then we have have lunch out together. That's our time, we don't actually want or need evenings out or weekends away without the children, we would rather spend that time as a family, it's so short a time really in the grand scheme of things.

Actually, I've just read what Expat said and that just about sums it up for us. We got married because we loved each other and wanted to spend our lives together. That came first and in that sense is the priority. Our children were, and are, a real blessing and obviously demand a huge amount of time and committment, but our partnership came first. I have enjoyed (nearly!) every moment of being a parent but I'm also looking forward to the time we are just a couple again and our children hopefully are leading happy, independent lives. That's the natural cycle and how it should be.