Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

So - if someone said they were hard up - would you believe them even if they had an "expensive" pushchair.......

96 replies

TheQueenOfQuotes · 25/08/2007 13:42

or perhaps a brand new car???

Just sparked by another thread btw.

You see I'm sure some people must look at us and think "they can't be hard up" - after all we have a virtually brand new car (was brand new when we bought it) and a rather nice pushchair (Hauck) - would you look at me and think "they're not hard up they don't know the meaning of the word".....or what?

You see - the Hauck came about as we qualified for the SureStart Maternity grand and given taht we had virtually everything else we needed we decided to splash out on a decent on.

The brand new car came about because 2yrs DH needed a car for his work (he still does - same job) - and the repayments on a brand new car worked out cheaper than the payments on the 2nd hand car we had!

I must say I do get a little fed up of people judging "books by their covers" so to speak and I just wondered if this was a common thing or whether people realise that there is other stuff behind it.

BTW - I'm not talking about people who say they're hard up and then jet off to the Caribbean for their holidays

OP posts:
Kbear · 25/08/2007 14:36

What annoys me is a friend who flashes the plastic all the time, has an expensive holiday, kits the whole family out at Bluewater before they go, is always up the pub then moans for the rest of the summer how hard up they are.

I'm not skint although I have been but I do live paycheck to paycheck like most people and I'm about to work my arse off doubling my hours at work so we can go to DisneyWorld next year.

Agree, don't worry what people think.

DanielJohnston · 25/08/2007 14:37

Well, when I've been hard-up both dh and I have sold stuff in car boots or in the paper. We would never allow someone to buy us lunch or go on about how skint we were. We'd cut back on spending, no take-outs, buy meat on offer at the supermarket and freeze it. But when you go to someone's house and both pc's are on, telly on all day, house full of crisps and chocolates and fizzy drinks, and then that person expects you to get lunch in because they are skint, you do lose sympathy.

scattyspice · 25/08/2007 14:37

People spend money on different things, some people dress well but scrimp on the house, others eat well, others go on holiday.

Original poster
TheQueenOfQuotes · 25/08/2007 14:38

actually the car isn't so brand new anymore - DH has been doing anything from 40 miles a day plus in it 5 days (sometimes 7!) a week for the last 2yrs LOL.

OP posts:
DanielJohnston · 25/08/2007 14:39

But for you QoQ, you clearly don't go on about being skint and I bet you wouldn't expect your lunch bought for you all the time. You don't take the piss so people probably wouldn't think about you twice.

Original poster
TheQueenOfQuotes · 25/08/2007 14:40

DJ - there was no point in us selling our stuff - it would only have served as half a stop gap - and not only that we would still have been in the same position, infact we'd have been worse off as we'd have had nothing in the house LOL.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheQueenOfQuotes · 25/08/2007 14:41

no I wouldn't expect people to buy me lunch all the time (in fact when we were in that position 2yrs ago MN'ers were suggesting us "inviting" ourselves over to dinner somewhere as a one off and I couldn't do it ).

OP posts:
Isababel · 25/08/2007 14:42

From some other people's perspective we may be rich... or skint. Personally, I think we are rich, as we have what we need and are happy with what we have. So, we don't suffer for not being able to afford things that ultimately are not that important for us.

...and I don't have half of the things mentioned in this thread.

belgo · 25/08/2007 14:42

Kbear - agree totally. It's up to people what they spend their money on, but it's irritating if they flash it around and then complain they don't have any.

pipsqueeke · 25/08/2007 15:43

tbh they might be hard up but have the latest gadget/expensive things but be in a shed load of debt. i'd rather have no debt and modest things any day of the week.

MerlinsBeard · 25/08/2007 15:47

only read the OP so far. but for things like prams etc then no i don't think people are lieing about their "wealth". the sure start grant pays for pram and car seat at the very least.

as for cars...hmm, well i think yes if you have a newish car (ie this year or last years plates) and can go on holiday then you aren't as bad off as you say.

pipsqueeke · 25/08/2007 15:51

see MOM here folks go on uk holidays 2/3 times a year - they do the sun 9.50 holidays which cost a total of £60 un upgraded of £120 upgraded all in. then you make it as chep of expensive as you want so it's not always that lots of hollidays = money - or camping actually that's v cheap. obv if it's holidays to disney world every year or something for 2/3 weeks then yes i'd agree.

MerlinsBeard · 25/08/2007 15:52

ah, had forgotten about The Sun holidays!

pipsqueeke · 25/08/2007 16:00

lol.

divastrop · 25/08/2007 16:09

i would never judge anybody by their pram as i know from bitter experience that one,decent pram can last from birth-3 years while you can easily trash 6-7 cheap things in that time.

i wouldnt think anything about cars either as i know its easy to get them on the never never if you are working.

i dont agree with the idea that you should sell stuff if you are hard up.we have 2 pcs,one is dp's and one is mine+the kids.dp built them himself though so they didnt cost that much,we never go out socially,i get most of my clothes from charity shops or at the end of sales etc.dp is addicted to online games and im addicted to MN,so we need 2 pcs.or we would end up talking to each other

pointydog · 25/08/2007 16:12

Do you go around saying to people that you are hard up? Surely that's the only reason why people might look sceptically at flashier rpossessions.

fawkeoff · 25/08/2007 16:29

i know that most ppl who flash stuff in my face are paying through the nose for it, we only have the "new" car on finance...everything else we have is bought and paid for...most of it is second hand but its new to me so i do not care,my fridge freezer is second hand, but at least im not paying £40 a month for it .

Nemo2007 · 25/08/2007 16:33

I know what you mean, we are skint skint skint yet we have a newish car[bought by fil], kitchen has been redone[paid for by my mum] and we have a phil and teds that I bought 2nd hand from ebay.
I think when I say I am skint people dont believe me but we are, I have £12 left in my purse again to last till week on tues and will probably only be bit better off that week so can buy food to last 2 weeks.

tribpot · 25/08/2007 16:37

sparklygothkat, how are you getting on with the motability vehicle? We're about to get one but have no idea how to go about choosing one.

fawkeoff · 25/08/2007 16:38

tribpot my dad has just got a mobility car....he went to a showroom and took his mobility letter and the fella sorted it our for him

Nemo2007 · 25/08/2007 16:41

just read moms post about newish car and heres me thinking ours is new as its an 03 plate..lol

MerlinsBeard · 25/08/2007 16:54

this years or last nemo

MyTwopenceworth · 25/08/2007 18:14

I have a saying, passed down from my mother.

It's one thing to be poor, it's another to be seen to be poor.

Now, that's not about being snobby, or acting like you're the bees knees, or even keeping up with the Jones's.

For me, it's about pride.

Although we could have free school meals, for example, I can't do it. It's such a public statement of poverty.

We hide from people in rl, how things have been (although it's much better now than it was, thank god)

I just don't want friends, family, neighbours etc to know my struggles.

LadyVictoriaOfCake · 25/08/2007 18:17

i bought my fridge freezer 4years ago second hand for £30. all that needs doing to it now is rust treatment on the bottom door and repaint.

Peachy · 25/08/2007 18:33

People think we're well off because we live in a nice house but we're not (I geta student GRANT fgs LOL! How poor do you need to be... ). the reason we have this house is that when we moved up from an area with much higher house prices, so we decided to keep to the existing budget and skip the need of an extra car (which living further away from Uni would have meant). What we used to rent an ex council house in Somerset for gets us a nice cottage here LOL

Agree with MTP as well- dignity has gotten me through a lot of ahrdships (financial and otherwise) in my time. I can cope with anything, as long as I have my dignity.