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So - if someone said they were hard up - would you believe them even if they had an "expensive" pushchair.......

96 replies

TheQueenOfQuotes · 25/08/2007 13:42

or perhaps a brand new car???

Just sparked by another thread btw.

You see I'm sure some people must look at us and think "they can't be hard up" - after all we have a virtually brand new car (was brand new when we bought it) and a rather nice pushchair (Hauck) - would you look at me and think "they're not hard up they don't know the meaning of the word".....or what?

You see - the Hauck came about as we qualified for the SureStart Maternity grand and given taht we had virtually everything else we needed we decided to splash out on a decent on.

The brand new car came about because 2yrs DH needed a car for his work (he still does - same job) - and the repayments on a brand new car worked out cheaper than the payments on the 2nd hand car we had!

I must say I do get a little fed up of people judging "books by their covers" so to speak and I just wondered if this was a common thing or whether people realise that there is other stuff behind it.

BTW - I'm not talking about people who say they're hard up and then jet off to the Caribbean for their holidays

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Peachy · 25/08/2007 18:35

My sister is the oppsoute btw- second ahnd everything, blags all she can, etc, Africa twice a year, Saab convertible and mortgage paid off next year. Its not deliberate- its just her DH's posh upbringing.

thievingmagpie · 25/08/2007 18:46

A friend once told me the saying 'we're too poor to buy cheap', and I think that there's a lot of truth in that. It doesn't mean that if you're hard up you should splash the cash on lucury items, but it does mean that there's no point buying cheap stuff if it only lasts 5 mins before you have to replace it.

I think that applies to what you're saying about the car QoQ? It'd be no good your dh having a secondhand car for work if it always broke down, as it'd be as good as useless! No, worse than useless in fact

ThursdayNext · 25/08/2007 18:52

I think the whole subject of whether you are hard up or not is best avoided with anyone except your nearest and dearest.
People have such different priorities for possessions and such different ideas about what being hard up means.

mm22bys · 25/08/2007 19:44

We paid £70 for our pushchair (new), and it lasted 2.5 years (till DS2 came along and we needed a double one!). In that time, friends who had expensive ones from when their DCs were newborn went through two or 3.

I don't think you necessarily have to pay a lot for quality items, or good items, you need to know what features you need, and where to buy.

Saying that, I do recognise that a lot of people do like to be seen to be able to afford to buy the expensive goods (status symbols).

fircone · 25/08/2007 20:08

Such wise words from ThursdayNext. I just think it's completely naff to plead poverty - either if you are destitute or just in need of the extra luxury weekend break a year. Please just be honest. I know someone who has TEN buy-to-lets and is always weeping and wailing that they are broke. I think it's really poor form and insulting to anyone who really is struggling.

Skribble · 25/08/2007 20:26

I have to laugh at some of my freinds that claim to be so hard up and then list what DC are getting for birthdays, I rarely spend over £40 for birthdays sometimes less than £10 if they don't notice . Hard up single mum freind is getting her DD a pair of trainers at over £40 as part of her present other items totaled over £150.

I don't claim to be hard up I just spend my money in other ways.

expatinscotland · 25/08/2007 20:29

I have only read the OP.

But yeah, I'd say you weren't that hard up.

Because I've known folks who used the SureStart grant to pay rent/clear arrears/etc.

But then again, I don't know your full situation and wouldn't know or care what someone's who's pushing a Hauk or driving XYZ car is.

Skribble · 25/08/2007 20:36

I suppose when my kids were small, people might have wondered how come they had all the best clothes and where I got the money to get them, little did they know I bought them all out of charity shops.

littlemissbossy · 25/08/2007 20:40

I could believe them I suppose after all circumstances can change overnight, you could have bought something expensive be it a car or a pushchair, paid cash, and still be made redundant the next day and be skint.

JoanCrawford · 25/08/2007 20:45

If you have a new car and can afford to run it - you are not hard up imo.

The Hauck thing has passed me by. I've no idea what it is or how expensive it is. I guess if you not only, know what one is, but own one - you're doing ok.

ScottishMummy · 25/08/2007 20:52

response to OP never thought about it
dont know what hauck is
too busy with my own stuff to ponder anyone else's iyswim

Nemo2007 · 25/08/2007 20:58

see my kids have nice clothes next etc but I tend to buy in the sale or second hand on here and ebay. Part of the problem I have is that DH parents dont know how skint we are and my mum does but she was the type to get everything on the never never. We dont have an overdraft or credit anymore due to the IVA so we have to live every month by what we have while paying off the bills we made before. It is hard but I still say it is THE best thing we ever did!

thievingmagpie · 25/08/2007 21:05

Fircone - your friend with the TEN buy-to-lets isn't called Rosie Millard per chance ?

fillyjonk · 25/08/2007 21:13

QoQ what is crappy is that you are feeling the need to justify it (not on here so much but generally)

agree re the prams. Its easy to judge someone for having an expensive pram. I have an expensive pram, a phil and ted's, (as well as a lovely green stokke given to me by a lovely MNetter).

Now I'm not especially hard up, tbh, so it isn't really an issue, but these "you should have the cheapest maclaren you can find" threads do annoy me a bit. I walk 6 miles a day and thusly NEED a decent pram. Am not going to be doing this with any old double, as I do not have the arm muscles.

fillyjonk · 25/08/2007 21:20

You know what else (having read a bit more of the thread)

If you are NOT hard up it is SO much easier to spend very little at birthdays, on clothes etc.

Ds is getting for his bday on monday: a strawberry yoghurt, a balloon (note he ASKED for these and a space hopper. Oh and a torch. Total cost about £10, incl wrapping paper.

My kids live in charity shop stuff, hand knitted stuff, and hand me downs. But if it came down to it we could certainly afford to buy new stuff. The fact we are not doing this is our choice, and this makes SO much difference.

ScottishMummy · 25/08/2007 21:27

yes filly i completely agree - nice post

TheQueenOfQuotes · 25/08/2007 21:29

"f you have a new car and can afford to run it - you are not hard up imo. "

ermm - well being paid "expenses" from DH's job certainly helps - he gets paid by the mile.....and travela a LOT of miles in the day (and it's done by "average" MPG costs.....having a car with a high MPG means he gets back more then he spends on petrol).

I only knew what a Hauck was after I read MN (too much ) and window shopped on the Kiddicare Website (also too much lol). I'd had cheap (and 2nd hand) pushchairs for DS1 and DS2...and as a result of all the walking I do I killed them very quickly...so figured something decent that was actually designed for being push lots was probably better value for money.

I'm not really that bothered tbh. I was 2yrs ago when we were skint and people commented on DH's new car. This month things are tight (and I guess now our microwave has smoked the house out forcing DH to go and buy another one - electric oven only other means of reheating his dinner when he gets in from work - and that would work out a lot more expensive than a new microwave LOL - next month may be tight too).

But this thread was prompted (in a slightly bored moment) by a thread in Telly Addicts about someone on a TV programme apprently always complaining they're skint but having a "nice" pushchair .

OP posts:

TheQueenOfQuotes · 25/08/2007 21:31

and I really must apologise for the lack of punctuation in my last post - especially the penultimate paragraph

OP posts:

ScottishMummy · 25/08/2007 21:33

TheQueenOfQuotes yojur money, your buggy/car we are a bunch of stangers dont be bothered by us - up you, suit yourself

ScottishMummy · 25/08/2007 21:35

i mean up to you of course

TheQueenOfQuotes · 25/08/2007 21:35

bothered by you??? nah - fat chance of that on this topic.....there's only one or two topics that "virtual" people can get my goat up over.......and this isn't one of them .

OP posts:

TheQueenOfQuotes · 25/08/2007 21:35

well I did wonder slightly what you meant LOL.

OP posts:

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expatinscotland · 25/08/2007 21:36

What if you're living out of the car, does that make it different?

I turned a place at law school to go trekk in Nepal with my ex, and then we came back and bought a brand new Nissan Pathfinder to live out of whilst we crossed the country climbing and hill-walking.

It wasn't just a car, it was home!

ScottishMummy · 25/08/2007 21:36

exactly bunch o ladies faffing about with pc

Isababel · 25/08/2007 21:37

Oh no... keep beating yourself about it, please.

keep going until you are in peace with your conscience and free of guilt!

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