when to go out with new baby

[kathyw]

help fell over with new baby sling and feel very distressed about whole thing baby only a couple of weeks old. when did other people venture out with babies and has anybody else used these slings make me feel less guilty

thanks for words of comfort i was crossing road and looking so carefully that there were no cars coming that i tripped on curb and landed on hands and knees with baby underneath sure not hit floor but have been worried about the baby being shaken and i am now under gp hv and mw for distress i hope they dont diagnose pnd

kathyw - I know how you feel - they're so little aren't they?

Anyway tripping over is easy, I've nearly done it several times when preoccupied by dd's comfort etc. (dropped the shopping on the pram when she was about 3 days old, luckily it just missed her, but couldn't stop thinking about it). Sounds like you need a pram until you get steadier! (but don't balance the shopping basket on it).

Also I take it this is your first? If your baby is a couple of weeks you may be having the "baby blues" - I got it quite badly, felt terrible, felt like I couldn't care for her, wanted to put her up for adoption. This is due to hormones and the general overwhelmingness of it all - it will almost definately pass and no-one will diagnose pnd at this stage.

kathyw, please don't feel guilty. It takes ages to recover from giving birth and you will be unsteady for a while, particularly if you aren't sleeping. You're doing really well to be out and about, I can remember feeling like a hermit for the first few months. It's a very vulnerable time emotionally, too, any thing like this seems like the end of the world but it isn't, I promise. I found that even things like reading a newspaper was impossible as I'd get so upset but these feelings do pass.

If it makes you feel better, I was giving dd's face a wash earlier (she's six mo and weaning so was very mucky) and I accidentally filled her mouth with soap! She screamed the place down for a few minutes and I felt terrible, but she was all smiles again soon after. Babies are incredibly tough.

Like sobernow says, don't beat yourself up over it. Your little one odviously has a verty caring mum.

Yes, I do agree with the advice to keep going out. The more you do it the better it gets, even if it's just a walk around the block or even your garden for now.

thanks for all your kind words this is helping . I think after your baby is born and you are so relieved everything is ok and then the guilt of feeling i have spoilt all of the happiness by making one stupid decision to walk up the road i blame myself bacuse i have a pram on mailorder and it did not arrive until after the event if only i had bought pram earlier i know you cannot turn back the clock and i still have a healthy happy babe but i feel as though i have spoilt what should be such a happy time. does this sound nuts!!!!

kathyw, welcome to motherhood! Sorry to be light-hearted when your obviously feeling so worried, but my midwife said to me when I was pregnant and anxious about what I'd eaten/drunk and whether it would affect the baby ' Welcome to motherhood, from now on you will have the most overwhelming feelings of guilt and worry'!!
Its part of the parcel of having a baby, you will have incidents like this and honestly you get stronger from them. I'm sure your baby is fine and your not suffering from pnd, just an anxious new mum like we all were when we started out! I promise you'll both be fine.. enjoy every moment it go's so quickly!

Wait till your baby falls off the bed! You will feel like the worst mother in the world. This happened to me as few months ago, and I posted a thread because of it - needless to say, all the mumsnetters were brilliantly reassuring!

Don't worry about your fall - I'm sure there was no harm done. This is the first of many worrying moments, but there are many more wonderful ones.

Good luck

Message withdrawn

Don't give up on going out! It does get easier, and you'll get more used to wearing the sling and not being able to see where to put your feet (same problem as when heavily pregnant but different centre of balance ). As to slings, I used one with both of my babies right from birth and they both loved it. It was especially useful with dd because then I could carry her while pushing her big brother in the buggy - easier than trying to drive the double buggy.

I remember having to take ds to the emergency doc when he was 4 days old (first day home, first time parents worrying because he had a small rash...you get the picture ). I had to go alone because dh was painting the front door (so we couldn't lock the house). I got to the surgery and sat and physically shook - the responsibility of taking this little baby out all by myself was so huge. Needless to say things were different with dd (2nd baby) - I went round to a friend's house for coffee when she was 2 days old.

Like Bloss and others we have a list of endless mishaps, none of them serious but you do feel so guilty. I went out after less than a week with ds and I was worried about pushing the pram so dh did it but after that nothing stopped us. I will be out as soon as I can with No2.

Dont worry, things happen to all of us. If you feel happier wait and go out with the pram, but the sling is so easy to use sometimes that you will have forgotten this incident and using it all the time.

I fell downstairs with dd when she was 10 days old. Luckily it was only 4 or 5 steps, and I landed on my bottom and didn't drop her, but I still feel dreadful carrying her downstairs, and would rather dh did it! I also avoid walking near the bannister on the landing just incase she wriggles and falls down the stair well.... perhaps I should see someone about it!!

Kathy, it doesn't sound nuts at all. To be honest if you weren't upset over this then there'd probably be something else, simply because we are so vulnerable when our babies are first born. Soon you'll forget all about it, and you'll have many great times together.

Further to Bloss and the low archway... Or Dh can walk out of the house with 17 month old DS2 on shoulders and whack his head on a VERY spikey glass lampshade. Bump, blood & bruise all in one go! He was fine after a cuddle & clean up though.

I bet we've all done something like this. You do come to realise that they're more robust than you think.

Oh Kathyw I echo the other supoport and reassurance here. I fell over wearing my DD (second baby too), I'm sure your baby will be fine, don't worry, even newborn babies are very tough, as Ionesmum says. The sling is a lovely way to transport your baby, close to you and cuddled up tight against your heartbeat, so don't feel guilty, quite the opposite. I first went out properly when DS (number one) was three days old and with DD she was just a day old. Don't overdo it at this stage, but it's important for you both to get some air and a change of scene. Certainly no need to lie in your bed for weeks on end as they did in the olden days...

I have had and still do have countless mishaps with my two - just the other day my toddler and I looked at each other in horror as the 9 month old slid out of the pram and onto the pavement (although I suspect he must have undone her harness when my back was turned). I still remember the first time I tried to put my son in the baby bjorn when he was 2 weeks old. Lifted him up to put him in the sling, forgetting I was in the attic bedroon and clunked his head on the ceiling.

Toddler managed to loop a piece of rubber hose under the baby's arms at the weekend and drag her around the lawn flat on her back at speed at the weekend until I intercepted. And then of course there's the incessant "catapault-the-baby-in-the-bouncer-game"......

And I'll ditto everyone's comments, too, Kathy. I'm sure no harm has come to your baby and as you can see here, lots and lots of us have had these incidents. I remember the terror I felt when my first born got rain on his face when we brought him home from hospital. I was convinced he would get pneumonia. He didn't, of course. Then, with my second baby, I was out with the pram, misjudged the kerb and because I'd forgotten to fasten the pram body to the wheels the whole top fell off into the road! And he survived the adventure, too.

These things do happen and you shouldn't feel guilty. Rather, just enjoy your lovely baby.

I was a mess when ds was small - couldn't go out at all!

When I could, the amount of full shopping trolleys I abandoned to leg it home was laughable.

Then there was the time it took me 3 hours to get ready to go out to a friends house for lunch - she lived in the next street - and we were still late!

And the first time I took him to someone's house for lunch in the car - it was a twenty minute drive and the first spot of heavy traffic I encountered I turned back and went home in tears thinking that I would never be able to go anywhere for the rest of my life!

But ... look at me now - I travelled all the way to New Zealand all on my own with him to join dh here 5 months ago - I am very proud of myself for that!!!!

Hang in there - it does get better!!!

this is kathyw but have changed nickname with every story i read i feel a bit better this is actually my second baby and i bought sling because child number one starts school next week a he is not that street wise to walk alongside a pram without runing off so i thought if i bought sling i could hold his hand and walk i know feel guilty about thinking of him at 4 years and not thinking of newborn my dh says i should of been thinking of newborn and should have more control over 4 year old what a mess

Sounds to me as if with a 4 y.o. and a new baby you're doing well to be that organised! Tell your dh from me that if he doesn't like the way you're doing things he can always do them himself while you put your feet up .

Your 4 year old might surprise you and not run off. They can usually be encouraged to hold on. If he does persistently run away I would get a wrist strap which ties him to you.
Don't be too hard on yourself. You should use the sling again if it makes life easier for you. Tell dh to help you instead of criticising you.

I fell over when dd was only a few weeks old and twisted my ankle. I was carrying a pushchair at the time down a step. Then the next day because the ankle was still weak I fell down the stairs holding dd. Fortunatley it was near the bottom and there is a bean bag at the bottom which we both sort of collapsed into. I think in the early weeks you are half asleep as well which doesn'thelp. Don't worry we've all been there!

I dropped my aunt in a batch of sting nettles... we'd been for a walk and she's had one hip replacement so was taking it gingerly over a stile, and I din't catch her when she fell sideways!!! Luckily she saw the funny side of it, and had great pleasure in telling her sister (that's my mum) how I'd planning to get rid of her for the inheirtance.