when to go out with new baby

[kathyw]

help fell over with new baby sling and feel very distressed about whole thing baby only a couple of weeks old. when did other people venture out with babies and has anybody else used these slings make me feel less guilty

Just for good measure...ds survived a quite spectacular accident on the A1 when he was five weeks old.

Sitting stationary in the outside lane of the A1, in the dark, having hit the crash barrier several times, with rain lashing down and large lorries bearing down on us, my husband turned to me and said, quite conversationally: 'They do say new borns are tough, don't they?'

Well, they are - he survived without a scratch, the car didn't.

I was very proud of myself for using the sling as I thought it was good for my baby to be cosied up to me and not stuck in a pushchair all the time (obviously used both, no cricism of pushchair users!!!!). So tell your dh to get stuffed (or help rather than sit there criticising you). Everyone uses slings, they are totally safe. A pushchair could slip out of your hands and go under a bus, you could be hit by a meteorite from outer space, how safe are you supposed to keep your kids!! Stop beating yourself up - you're doing great and both kids are fine. My ds rolled off the bed the other morning when I stopped watching him for a moment. We've all been there! I don't feel a bad mummy though.

i fell over on the weekend - 24 wks p/g and carrying my 2 1/2 yr old - felt terrible lying in the bushes of the homebase car park holding my ds tight as he screamed from shock (but no bangs luckily) - somehow managed to avoid my ds and bump gatting bashed but did manage to bruise every other part of my body. Looking back it was v. funny as people walked past thinking what is that strange woman doing lying in the bushes with her tantrum child', didn't help that i had my 'sunday am mid p/g -no clothes left - chuck on what ever fits even though nothing goes together' outfit on which was by this point covered in mud. my dh found us in bushes scooped us up and took us home for some tlc (lots of kicks from bump). It happens SO easily, and what i am seeing SO often!

When DS1 was newborn my parents brought over the pram they had bought for him. All excited we put it together and took DS1 out for his first trip in the pram. The first thing I did was carry him down the stairs in the carrycot section holding the handles and the carrycot was top heavy and tipped, DS1 was hanging upside down in the carrycot, thankfully strapped in. Next we attached the carrycot to the chassis of the pram and started to negotiate the doorway, I was shaking by this time, it turned out we hadn't attached the carrycot properly and it fell off and was caught by my Dad, by now I was shaking and crying, hardly the proud showing off my new baby to the world moment I had planned.

This time round with DS2 my DH put the pram together for me and the same thing happened, the carrycot fell off the chassis, I caught him and just laughed, DH did get a ticking off and was re-educated about how to put the pram together.

When DS1 was 7 months old I tripped up whilst carrying him round to our local shop, he ended up on the pavement, as I fell I must have thrown him forward as he slid across the pavement rather than landing straight on it. When we took him to casualty they said there was not even a bump on his head. I am sure it is an instinct thing but I will never forget that feeling.

Anyway as everyone else has said don't let this incident spoil your enjoyment of your baby and if the sling is the best way for you to transport your baby then try it again, I'm sure you'll be fine.

I was in Somerfield recently, loading bags onto the back of the pushchair, looked round to pick up the next items, and BANG!!! DS was lying on his back in the pushchair on the shop floor - I had put just too much weight on the back of it. He found it quite funny! He also, at 6 months, managed to pull himself up on the safety rails we had got for our bed, and somersaulted over the top, landing flat on his back. My df was very helpful - said "Is he asleep now? Well, he's probably having a brain haemmorhage!!!" But of course he wasn't.

when our ds was 2 weeks old, we managed to drop him out of his Moses basket (v. dangerous to carry...). No harm done, but we were beside ourselves, and really worried he'd be taken off us 'cos we were so useless..!

I used a sling once but found it put too much strain on my back and didn't use it again. I think they are a great idea.

My daughter fell off her changing unit at 4 months old and both me and her Dad were in the room at the time. We were arguing over what she was going to wear that day and she literally flipped herself off the unit and landed face first on the floor. I obviously ran screaming from the room, which helped enormously, while my partner picked her off the floor. She didn't bruise at all and thankfully no broken bones. We stopped changing her on that unit and started laying her on the floor!

kathyw, as all these messages show, you're not alone! I let ds slip backwards when he was only a few months old and remember phoning the doctor to ask if they thought he'd be brain damaged as a result! (He isn't, just started school today ) I cried and phoned DH at work and stressed and thought I was the worst mother ever but...it was all ok! Agree, don't stop going out, you both need it. Is there a baby group you could join to meet other mums? Then you'll have a set date and time (maybe, I know it's a pain getting out of the house with a newborn when you're not used to it) to go out and maybe you'll meet some new people.

Kathyw well done for going out ! It took me ages. Every time I went out I either felt like I was going to faint or alternatively would run out of a shop in tears every time dd cried ! I for some reason thought everyone that looked at me with sympathy was secretly thinking I was a bad mother ! You're doing brilliantly.

As for the falling over thing. We managed to lose our DD off the changing mat (about 3 ft high !) and of course felt incredibly guilty. I even feel guilty when dd falls and knocks her head although I know she needs to learn / find her balance (never let her have big falls though, only little ones) I still feel as though I've pushed her !

It is very natural to feel shaken and upset. As all the others have said, the baby's fine. You're an excellent mum i'm sure and it will all get less stressful xx

I won't go into detail with my little accidents as they're just the same as everyone else's, just wanted to say thumbs up kathyw, I think I left it too late to start going out with dd and 15 months on I still regret it, it's never so easy as the first few months (especially if breastfeeding) and it did me so much good to go out, even if was just to go to the local shops, everyone would stop and comment on the baby and it was nice and I felt less lonely.
You're doing very well (and you have a 4yr old as well), good luck!!!

PS
Reading all these stories made me go back to the first weeks and cry bit. I still feel as if my hormones were all over the place....is this normal???

I use my sling to carry DS when we walking the dog (he's too mental to walk sensibly alongside a pram), and I also fell over the first time he was in the sling at 3 wks old. I fell off the edge of the kerb as I coudn't see my feet and sprained the ankle that had only just got better from tripping down the stairs at 38 weeks pregnant, and falling down a hole in the dog walking field at 37 weeks pregnant - not that I'm clumsy or anything! Anyway, we stuck with the sling and had lovely time this morning with DS facing outwards rather than inwards so he could see where he was going. He enjoyed every minute and I enjoyed showing him off to the postlady, paperboy etc - although didn't realise till we got home that he'd had an enormous dangling out of his nose the whole time.

Oh, KS, I'm glad I'm not the only one. I was too ashamed to admit that I was having a sneaky giggle at some of these stories.

I fell down the stairs when ds was a few days old, whilst carrying him - luckily my mothering instincts came to the fore, as I tightened my grip on him, so he just landed on me - so only I got bruised!

The same can't be said for my mum though! Apparently she did something similar when I was very young - however, instead of holding onto me, she threw me over the banisters onto the tiled hall floor, to save herself! Don't think it did me too much harm though - although my dh might not agree there

LOL Tetley!

hi thanks for all your help and advice I still feel bad about the whole thing but slowly
getting better I just feel sad that the first few precious weeks have been tarnished by this incident