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I'm getting a little suspicious of all these First time poster serious problem posts

93 replies

Twiglett · 22/09/2004 11:28

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OP posts:
lou33 · 22/09/2004 16:55

Contact mumsnet if you have any concerns, please.

Beetroot · 22/09/2004 17:07

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jellyhead · 22/09/2004 17:58

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linniewith2 · 22/09/2004 18:37

Hi I post here and on Babycentre
recently we had a young girl of 16 claiming to be a 38yr old mum of 8 on our parents of 2 3 or more board she was chineese on the bilingual board and she was a 58 yr old woman expecting septuplets on the multiples board.
We found her out and kicked her off all of the boards!
Her username was mama2lots there.
So there are some sad people out there who spend their time making up sad little stories!

californiagirl · 23/09/2004 02:14

Just for the skeptics: Yes, trolls exist, in any number of forms. They are so pathetic that it amuses them to start arguments and/or otherwise play with people's minds. The really advanced ones then furiously deny that they are trolling, just to keep the game going. However, the only useful thing to do about them is to treat them as if they were real, and advise them on how to be less inflammatory. If they keep being inflammatory, whether they are lying or telling the truth doesn't matter -- they can't carry on a polite or enlightening conversation and ought to be made to go away.

The people with the ever increasing tragedies are usually something rather different. I know one of these in real life, and while it's not true that all that stuff happens to her, she isn't precisely lying, either. She genuinely doesn't distinguish well between fantasy and reality, as if she were 5, and has an overwheming need for support. Treating it like a small child's story you don't believe it, but you recognize that it expresses an unmet need works best. She is so needy that she has few friends, and they set very clear limits to maintain their sanity, but when she's doing OK she's funny and charming.

nightowl · 23/09/2004 03:04

well i wasnt going to post on this thread but seen as its bumped anyway...my first post most probably looked troll-ish although no-one actually said as such. sometimes a first post is a "problem" post because you are at your wits end and you find a site like this looking for answers. its actually very scary putting your life in front of thousands of people and upsetting if one of them isnt too nice. some people have never visited any kind of parenting site before and dont understand the "etiquette" (spelt wrong no doubt)

having said that, i find that i grow ever increasingly suspicious of new people and find it very sad that "trolls" could be responsible for a genuine person not receiving the support they so often need.

simoneinlondon · 28/09/2004 04:54

well I am a new poster and member and feel it is unfair to suspect all people who are new of being trolls. It feels like from reading here there are your regular posters who are chums and then anyone new who posts has to break into the group and be tested, how long a member, how many posts previously and what about and 'cleared' from that as if ok or a troll. Just seems a bit unfair, as I am put off posting messages incase I to am accused of being a troll. Whatever happened to free speech on ther internet?

TraceyP · 28/09/2004 07:08

Simone, I haven't been around very long but don't seem to have had any problems being accepted. That's probably because I introduced myself in the right place and then simply joined in with conversations rather than jumping in at the deep end with an initial post which was inflammatory, very personal or very serious. Normally MN is very chatty, supportive and inclusive, but recently there has been a spate of nasty "troll" activity which has left people a little suspicious.

It's a dreadful shame if this stops people from getting the help and support that they need, but I think to a certain extent people's wariness is to be expected. But from experience I can tell you that the majority of people here are warm, kind and supportive, regardless of who you are or how long you have been posting.

If you pop along to the Profiles board and introduce yourself, you'll see! Welcome to Mumsnet.

anorak · 28/09/2004 08:34

Tracey, you have hit the nail on the head. Why in the world do first-time posters make their debut by starting a thread on a risque subject? And then they are surprised when people suspect them of being trolls! There has to be a certain amount of citizens' policing on mumsnet because we do have problems with trolls from time to time, and it can be most upsetting for whoever they have a go at.

I really don't understand why they don't begin as you did, dipping in their toe first and then wading in deeper and deeper until they can swim. I didn't expect to be noticed or for anyone to respond to me straight away when I was new, but they did in fact and were most helpful and friendly. Perhaps because my first post wasn't a thread asking how often they give bjs etc.

lou33 · 28/09/2004 08:47

Simone, please don't be put off posting. Like others have said, there have been a spate of dubious threads and posters recently, so when a new name is spotted it can sometimes make others wary.

If you stay around, you will notice that MN is generally a great place to log onto, and freedom of speech is very much encouraged, just not anything inflammatory, abusive, etc. There have been some great debates on here, which have respected other pov's without descending into a slanging match . In fact the majority are.

Welcome to Mumsnet .

Lolski · 28/09/2004 09:05

Must admit..this thread has made me a bit wary of posting now. I am new to MN and have found it really helpful. I have had a really friendly response from a couple of questions that I asked and have tryed to help with a couple of answers for other people. How would you know if people think that you are a'troll' or not ?

anorak · 28/09/2004 09:09

lolski, they would say so if they thought it. No need to worry

Papillon · 28/09/2004 09:17

well the top 50 have 4 threads related to problems - great advertisement to new posters.
It just needs a troll thread in there to really look impressive. There are more terrorism accusations on MN that in RL. Perhaps demanding fotos and finger prints for entry into MN land might soon be a prerequisite.

Its not big brother the conspiracy theorists have to worry about - it is Big Mother!

Tissy · 28/09/2004 09:20

I seem to have missed the terrorism accusations...

Papillon · 28/09/2004 09:25

relating a worldwide known phenomena which is called terrorrism. The States are now will fingerprint and photograph people from over 27 different countries on arrival in the United States as part of a security.

I just see a relationship with fear. And some new posters are saying that feel hesitant to post. It did not sound like it was because of inflammatory threads, but rather the response to them.

MTS · 28/09/2004 09:43

Paps - I think I agree that the balance is swinging too far the other way as to suspicion over unusual posts. I posted something personal recently (non-sexual!) that I wasn't entirely comfortable with posting under my username. A significant factor in outing myself was that I really couldn't be bothered with dealing with any accusations as to my bona fides.

IMHO I think we need a clarification of the MN troll/inflammatory threads policy. Rather than leaping in to the fray I think the best approach is to contact mods/MN and then just ignore the thread, rather than carry on posting and "feeding the trolls"

MeanBean · 28/09/2004 09:52

But I think whoever made the point about people not being used to internet "netiquette" is right. People don't necessarily know what the form is, and should be given the benefit of the doubt. I also would rather give advice to a troll than ignore a genuine poster whom I suspected of being a troll.

nightowl · 29/09/2004 03:14

just wanted to add that not everyone joins this kind of site with the intention of staying and may just want an answer to one problem so a first post could well be a personal or serious one. i would not have joined a parenting site to chat about day to day things and had absolutely no idea what one was like, it just held no interest for me whatsoever. i came here out of desperation, i had a problem that had driven me crazy and so i wanted some advice from a neutral party i surpose. someone upset me and i didnt come back until i had my baby. i really enjoy being on here now but i think perhaps if i had felt more welcome at first then many a pregnant night could have been more bearable if i had felt able to turn to mumsnet then. like i said before, i do get suspicious of some posts but if thats the case i would rather avoid the thread than say something that could hurt a geniune person if thats what they turned out to be.

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