Friend has asked for money as 'wedding gift'.....

[PinkChick]

her wedding is abroad and we are all going.
She initially said no present as the hol/place she has chosen is v.expensive, but knowing her well, she would not refuse a present
her ssi (my best friend) said to me at weekend she has asked them for the money as her and finace have house and two girls and dont 'need' kettle toaster etc and she wuould love to save for a hot tub for garden ....
so how much should we give?
i have known her long time, but am b.friends with her sis, she is someone we all go out with on occasion, used to be inseperable as group when younger and looked after her dd while back

BUY the box and give it to them

see, if id bought the box when i saw it, it would be money spent now and id have prob started filling it with bits for them?..

i WOULD like to buy something sentemental rather than cash, but if theyve asked now, it makes it difficult.

they don't really need the cash though, so a thoughtful gift would mean more to tehm

I agree with iota - something with a little bit of thought behind it.

I gave a 'friend' of mine £50 worth of holiday vouchers (which they asked for) after she had just called my unborn child a 'bastard' (DP and I not married). And I didn't even get a thank you card.

Sorry - off on a tangent there, your thread just reminded me.

well am trying to find the shop on internet, but as it was tiny little thing in little village methinks a very long car journey to get it si in order...

..i wouldnt have gone never mind give her cash!

How can two grown ups with their own house ask friends for money because they're getting married? I don't get it at all.

You give cash to teenagers.

buy her the sentimental little thing

When there's no list I usually get a lovespoon engraved with the bride and groom's names and date of wedding. Not too expensive - £25ish and you can order online - and they usually appreciate the personal bit.

ooo, that's a good idea. A friend of our got a plate with the date/place/ names etc.

What I would do is just give her the money. Its what she's asked for. Give her what you would have spent on a present. Don't worry about what people think about the amount. Never feel pressurised into giving more than you want to, it'll just eat away at you.

i find it rude when people ask for money for their gift. Would find it less rude if they for example said heres my JOhn Lewis account put some cahs on it, that way they can get whatever they want and for the children too.

well spoke to a diff friend(unconnected) otehr night and she said they give their good friends £50 for weddings?

ok her sis just mailed me baack, she said being her sis she is giving her £100.....

I think it's vulgar to be asking for money when frankly they seem to treat themselves to whatever takes their fancy in day to day life.

A sentimental keepsake item is a lovely idea.

As you're paying to go abroad, new oufits etc I'd spend a tenner at most.

thats just it, she didnt ask, her sis suggested it, so am stuck now..although dont know if well have spare few hours to drive to buy the box before wedding as were quite busy at in..does anyone know of anywhere online who sell handcrafted pretty sentimental boxes/gifts for weddings, something different???

Whenever someone asks for money for a wedding present I go to the back of my cupboards and get out whatever unused piece of tat I can find and give it to them instead.

LOL..ive known her 20 years i couldnt do that

I would personally give them an EVIAN bottle of water for the hot tub . LOL

Minumum send on premium bonds is £100 i would buy a gift for them or give them 40.

hwnre there's no list I usually also give a keepsake- amemory box for mementos (or one friend liked a silk covered booka s she could use t to store things like tickets etc from her honeymoon).

maybe something like that (usually about £10 or so) and slip a £20 in the front would be a good compromise?

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