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Original poster

Toddler on a lead, would you treat your child as a dog?

32 replies

Chandra · 10/09/2004 14:11

I perfectly understand that babies' harness are great specially in crowded areas where the potential of getting a little one lost are high, but today I saw something at Boots who leave me fuming.

There was this woman with an 18m old with reins, everytime the child pulled she pulled back very hard, once she pulled him so hard that the poor child's head hit the wooden wall at the side of the till, toddler cried and mother rised him up by the reins (ouch!) and throw him in to the push chair, child went down and she continued pulling him so hard and telling him off in not the nicest manner that I was about to say something, but I thought it wil make the problem worse and she would take it onto her child.

Is this normal? I don't mean pulling but pulling so hard so often that the child can barely keep the balance, and isn't it painful to raise a boy by the harness? I think even my dog would complain if I do something like that...

OP posts:

Original poster

Chandra · 10/09/2004 14:12

PS By the way I use a harness with DS

OP posts:

Lisa78 · 10/09/2004 14:13

That is horrible Chandra, really horrible and I would have been upset to see it
Unfortunately, as I age, I get gobbier, and I would likely have said something to her, the mean cow
No, I don't think its normal, I think its cruel. And I wouldn't dream of treating my dog like that, let alone my child - makes me wonder though, if she is like that in public....???

NomDePlume · 10/09/2004 14:14

I use reins with DD, or I did until I lost them. But I agree with you that they should be used responsibly and it certainly sounds like this woman was using undue force

Blu · 10/09/2004 14:16

Poor little mite. Horrible woman would probably treat him like that with or without reins. depressing. shudder.

secur · 10/09/2004 14:20

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Chandra · 10/09/2004 14:24

I saw it like that secure... definitively a cow, the child was whingeing most of the time but he didn't seem like a handful, was not runnigng away or screaming, I just kept my mouth shut because I thought that if I said something rather than think she was not acting well towards her child she would blame him and act even worse towards him.
Fuming...

OP posts:

donnie · 10/09/2004 15:45

awful woman! we used reins on dd and she was quite good in them but obviously we wouldn't have used them like that.

Slinky · 10/09/2004 16:55

My heart sinks sometimes when I walk round my local town, watching these "so-called parents" at work.

Regularly see children hit round the head, called various names all beginning with fing. Once saw a toddler sitting in a pushchair, singing away. I looked down and smiled at him, about to comment on his lovely singing, when the dad (if I can call him that!) turned to him and said "will you shut the f up!!!"

Annoyed with myself that I didn't say anything afterwards - but walking around here, where most people are tattooed and shaved heads (and that's just the women!!) you daren't even look at them, let alone say anything.

Obviously not everyone's like it round here but we do have a high number of these "delightful" parents

Paula71 · 10/09/2004 21:12

I used harnesses on both ds twins when they were younger and sometimes still do if we are going somewhere particular busy or where there will be a lot of traffic around. Would never have crossed my mind to use them in such a barbaric way! They are for safety not dog training (and I wouldn't even do that to my dog!)

Sounds like this "mother" needs a little lesson on what they are actually for.

misdee · 10/09/2004 21:20

oh gawd that is awful. i occasionally use reins with dd2 as she doesnt like to hold my hand but wants to walk. I must dig them out again soon.

Juliehafrancis · 10/09/2004 21:29

Oh my goodness!
That is awful behaviour. I agree about intervening - I always feel I should but hold back for the same reasons you do however it really makes me angry and sad to see children treated this way.

I do have reins for my dd who is nearly 2 and I constantly get into heated arguments with my sister because she totally disagrees with them. I however think they are a godsend! I walk nearly everywhere and having the reins on me not only provides safety and reassurance but helps us to not have as many tantrums - it's much easier to get dd to walk out of the park instead of struggling to put her in the push chair!

hercules · 10/09/2004 21:30

Why are some people against reins? I used with ds and will do again with dd.

Twiglett · 10/09/2004 21:34

message withdrawn

blossomhill · 10/09/2004 21:36

Must say slinky I have tattoos!

hercules · 10/09/2004 21:37

yes!

hercules · 10/09/2004 21:37

My sister told me she hated reins on kids and that lots of people did.
Why?

Original poster

Chandra · 10/09/2004 21:52

I think they are not specially popular in America Hercules, but America is very car-oriented so not having to walk long distances with your child makes them less essential, therefore you don't see them very often and many people can't understand that actually the child is safer if he is not allowed to wander around far in public crowded places.

OP posts:

Twiglett · 10/09/2004 21:56

message withdrawn

Original poster

Chandra · 10/09/2004 22:00

I got some but I forgot about them I only put them in use now that he is in the hands-off phase of walking and totally refuses to hold hands, he is becomming faster also and has always been very independant so, if I look to the other way I can easily find him on the other side of the street! so the reins serve their purpose beautifully

OP posts:

beansmum · 10/09/2004 22:02

i don't really like them. maybe when ds is bigger and is running off everywhere i'll see the point of them but i think i've just seen so many mums dragging their children about by their harness quite violently it's kind of put me off them a bit.

I suppose it's the parents i have a problem with, not the actual harness.

Original poster

Chandra · 10/09/2004 22:03

Twigglet, how did you teach him to stop before the kerb?, I must teach him that but how do you do it when he is 19m old? I'm sure he understands me but has his own ideas about following my orders so any help highly welcome

OP posts:

agy · 10/09/2004 22:10

We used reins when ds was first walking and TBH he loved being carried by them! I would never have done it in anger though! It was a way to stop him falling on his knees quite often.

Twiglett · 10/09/2004 22:21

message withdrawn

scampadoodle · 10/09/2004 22:31

I think you're all being a bit harsh about the woman Chandra saw... Maybe her kid had been winding her up all day, to beaking point; maybe she's depressed; maybe she has a sh*t life: who are we to judge? I've often screamed at DS1 in public, or sometimes had to bundle him into the buggy a bit roughly (usually because I'm avoiding being kicked or scratched). I'm not proud of it, but toddlers do drive you mad...

hercules · 10/09/2004 22:32

Sorry but that was child abuse and unacceptable imo.

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