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Original poster

do you leave your baby in the car???

81 replies

Lisa78 · 10/09/2004 13:56

DS2 is 10 months old and after the Sainsburys shop, I called in at their petrol station. I left him in his car seat whilst I filled up, but then took him in with me whilst I paid. Obviously as I was holding him, this took a bit longer and the woman behind me was huffing and puffing a bit, but its hard to sign the slip and hold on to a wriggly baby!
Went back to the car, with her hot on my trail, and of course, had to strap DS2 into his seat, which yes, takes a couple of minutes. As I was doing this, she suggested that I should just leave him in the car whilst I paid - she wasn't really snotty or anything, just a bit exasperated with me, cos she couldn't get out until I did. I just said no, I didn't leave him unattended incase there was a problem but she acted like I was being stupid and said I could see him from the till anyway
But what if he started crying, or someone nicked the car or whatever, a million things could happen. I don't particularly want to hold people up, but its only a couple of minutes - and she shouldn't have pulled up so close to me if she wanted to get out quickly. I don't think I'm being stupid taking him in with me - do you???

OP posts:
Skate · 10/09/2004 13:59

No you are not being stupid. I NEVER leave them in the car - I either get DH to fill my car up for me (hee hee!) or I'd go to Tesco where you can pay at the pump with your card.

There's no way on earth I'd leave mine in the car while I went in to pay or go in a shop or anything. No chance!

Chandra · 10/09/2004 14:01

No way! but I assume it was common many years ago and tak the woman who told you so was either old or had no children...

KBear · 10/09/2004 14:02

Absolutely not. I do the same thing. Even with two kids - although I tried to fill the car up when I didn't have the kids or had my mum with me to stay in the car with them.

Cars also catch fire for no apparent reason, as well as all the valid reasons you stated for not leaving them unattended.

The woman who commented would be the same woman who tutted as she read the evening paper about the woman who left her children in the car when it caught fire/got stolen, whatever.

Do what makes you happy, sod what people think. Your baby is more precious that anything else in the world.

(I feel strongly about this, can you tell!! ha ha

Papillon · 10/09/2004 14:02

dpends on the baby - if they don´t mind being left for some minutes while you are away. I would lock the doors of course.

still would you be snotty at a women holding a baby in a cue at a petrol station? ...well i would not

NomDePlume · 10/09/2004 14:02

If my DD was the type to sit quietly and calmy in her seat whilst I went into the petrol station, then yes, I would leave her in the car (she's 2). However, she panics if I try so it's a no-no for us. Although if I've got the 12 & 10 year old DSs in the car too, then she'l behave and they all stay in the car whilst I'm paying.

MeanBean · 10/09/2004 14:03

What a cheeky old bat - it's up to you how you decide to handle these situations, and if you feel more comfortable taking your DS into the shop with you, then that's what you'll do. When she's paying his school fees and getting up in the middle of the night with him, then she can tell you how to organise it.

Unbelievable.

SenoraPostrophe · 10/09/2004 14:03

I leave mine in the car - doors locked, window slightly open. I figure the liklihood of a locked car being pinched from the forecourt is about the same or lower than that of dd/me tripping over in front of a car or something. Plus obviously it's much easier that way.

If there's a big queue and it looks like it'll take more than a couple of mins I take them in with me, or (more usually) don't bother at all and go to the next garage.

beansmum · 10/09/2004 14:04

you were definitely not being stupid, i wouldn't leave bean anywhere, even for a few minutes the woman should have been more understanding. i know someone whos car was stolen with their 2 children (2yrs and 6 months) in the back seat. Luckily the thief stopped down the road and put the children out before driving off again but that was scary enough

NomDePlume · 10/09/2004 14:05

Apols for typo city !

Metrobaby · 10/09/2004 14:06

No I don't, and wouldn't leave either dd or ds in the car as I worry far too much. However, when I drop or pickup from the nursery I'm always surprised by how many mums leave a sleeping baby or toddler in the car. Also one of my friends admitted she always used to leave her sleeping toddler in the car on the drive at her home.

NomDePlume · 10/09/2004 14:09

My neighbour does the same with her DD if she is sleeping in the car, she leaves her front door open so that she can hear her when she wakes and checks her regularly. Doesn't strike me as all that problematic, tbh.

Jimjams · 10/09/2004 14:10

always leave mine in the car (car locked) to pay for petrol. Ds1 is far far safer in the car than on a petrol forecourt and ds2 is far easier and less stroppy in the car- and having the two of them together in an unconfined space is very dangerous.

Original poster
Lisa78 · 10/09/2004 14:11

Feel better now girls, thanks! I thought I was being one of those over paranoid mothers that I always want to slap!!!
But Beansmum, LUCKILY he put them out of the car??? Details girl, I want details! What on earth??? Were they okay? I can't believe even a car thief would leave two infants like that

OP posts:
SenoraPostrophe · 10/09/2004 14:11

I must say I'm surprised by the amount of people who never ever leave a baby/child in the car. At a garage you can see the car, a thief wouldn't have time to pick the lock and hotwire it before I could run back, and like I say, frankly, walking accrosss the forecourt with a struggling baby is more dangerous.

I also used to leave ds asleep in the car while picking dd up from nursery - I'd either stand outside or keep checking. Again, struggling accross the road with the pair of them would be more dangerous.

jamiesam · 10/09/2004 14:12

Totally agree that you're not being stupid at all. Next time, don't forget to do everything VERY SLOWLY while smiling and telling your baby what you're doing all the time. Always makes me feel better, and harder for snotty people to make comments (unless they just think I'm a nutter...)
(In a similar vein, I only ever stick to the speed limit when another car up my a**e - )
to celebrate first ever smiley

SenoraPostrophe · 10/09/2004 14:12

sorry Lisa78 - I don't mean to be unsupportive. The woman was an old bag. If she was Spanish, she'd have offered to hold the baby while you signed the thing.

Heathcliffscathy · 10/09/2004 14:13

can't leave mine in car: alarm would go off if doors were locked and he moved (this happened once to dh, not v funny). so we snailspace it round the garage to pay...

muddaofsuburbia · 10/09/2004 14:14

There was a thread on this a few month's ago - I'll try to find it.

I leave ds (2) in the car, locked. He's in his car seat and not going anywhere. The risks of the car catching fire/being stolen are less than me having a crash while driving. If the car caught fire the the whole petrol station would go up in smoke - including the shop, so nowhere would be safe really.

If I panicked about every possible accident that could happen, then ds and I would never leave the house...but then most accidents happen at home.....

Chandra · 10/09/2004 14:15

I'm starting to see that there are some occassions when is actually safer to leave them in the car...

muddaofsuburbia · 10/09/2004 14:17

Meant to add - I think that woman was inconsiderate and thoughtless. It's totally your choice and you're not being stupid. None of her business really.

jamiesam · 10/09/2004 14:17

Safer, yes, but much, much more upsetting for ds1. Like others, less of a problem now ds1 and 2 keep each other company.

Morgan · 10/09/2004 14:19

I always leave ds in the car with doors locked but i agree that it's entirely the individual's choice.

Original poster
Lisa78 · 10/09/2004 14:20

s'okay DP, wouldn't post the question if I was over sensitive or just wanted everyone to agree with me!

OP posts:
pixiefish · 10/09/2004 14:20

I'm with you on this Lisa. anything could happen couldn't it. what about some b@@@@@ nutter crashing into your car... fire... theft... you do what you want and so what if it takes a bit longer. I tend to only put petrol in the car when I've got someone with me but if I had to then I'd do exactly what you did.Have NO guilt, no feelings of being silly...you'd never live with yourself if god forbid something happened. stick to your guns

Angeliz · 10/09/2004 14:21

jamiesmam, i actually slow down when someone is right behind me

(My dada said turn on your lights and they'll break as they think it's your brake lights but it doesn't seem to work for me!!)