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Original poster

do you leave your baby in the car???

81 replies

Lisa78 · 10/09/2004 13:56

DS2 is 10 months old and after the Sainsburys shop, I called in at their petrol station. I left him in his car seat whilst I filled up, but then took him in with me whilst I paid. Obviously as I was holding him, this took a bit longer and the woman behind me was huffing and puffing a bit, but its hard to sign the slip and hold on to a wriggly baby!
Went back to the car, with her hot on my trail, and of course, had to strap DS2 into his seat, which yes, takes a couple of minutes. As I was doing this, she suggested that I should just leave him in the car whilst I paid - she wasn't really snotty or anything, just a bit exasperated with me, cos she couldn't get out until I did. I just said no, I didn't leave him unattended incase there was a problem but she acted like I was being stupid and said I could see him from the till anyway
But what if he started crying, or someone nicked the car or whatever, a million things could happen. I don't particularly want to hold people up, but its only a couple of minutes - and she shouldn't have pulled up so close to me if she wanted to get out quickly. I don't think I'm being stupid taking him in with me - do you???

OP posts:

Angeliz · 10/09/2004 14:21

jamiesam
sorry!

krocket · 10/09/2004 14:22

HUGE thread on this a while back - got quite heated as a recall.

lisa78, silly woman, is a few more minutes waiting really going to make a difference

muddaofsuburbia · 10/09/2004 14:22

Old thread is here

OldieMum · 10/09/2004 14:25

I think the problem is with the woman who complained. I would estimate that you cannot have added more than about 2-3 minutes to the time she spent at the petrol station. If she can't wait that long, she is really in trouble. I blame it on fast PCs making us expect everything to happen instantaneously. When I lived in Kenya, I'd think nothing of waiting 2 hours for a bus. Now I get impatient after 5 minutes.

Original poster

Lisa78 · 10/09/2004 14:26

Well, don't want this one to get heated!

OP posts:

beansmum · 10/09/2004 14:26

more details!

the guy took the car from outside the local shop, my friend had just run in for a second so left the kids in the car. the boy who was 2 at the time started screaming and the thief must have thought they were too much trouble so he stopped the car a mile up the road and told the boy to get out and take his baby sister too. the kids were fine, they just waited on the side of the road and someone stopped and took them back to their mum. obviously they were quite shaken by it but at least he left them and only took the car.

Original poster

Lisa78 · 10/09/2004 14:34

I hope they caught him and chained him to a rock!

OP posts:

krocket · 10/09/2004 14:36

bean that makes me feel sick

pixiefish · 10/09/2004 14:36

and chopped his bits off as he was obviously unfit to father children

pixiefish · 10/09/2004 14:37

sorry Krocket our posts crossed, I was following on from Lisas

Original poster

Lisa78 · 10/09/2004 14:38

now look what happened! So engrossed in MN, didn't notice DS2 sampling the dogs biscuits Luckily, he hasn't actually swallowed any
Oops! Still, bit of fibre I suppose!

OP posts:

geekgrrl · 10/09/2004 14:54

you just can't win, if you'd left him in someone would have probably had a go at you for abandoning him in the car.
For what it's worth, I do leave mine in the car in all sorts of situations (obviously I do apply common sense!). With three young children, one of them a baby and another one with SN, it's totally impractical and unsafe to get them out for very quick jobs. I can envisage all sorts of bad things happening with them in the car, but even more with them on the forecourt or car park. Getting petrol on my own is not an option, we live in the sticks and whenever I'm in town I have at least one child with me.

OldieMum · 10/09/2004 14:55

I'm sure they have lot of what my father used to call 'roughage' - good for the bowels.

Twiglett · 10/09/2004 15:08

message withdrawn

Gingerbear · 10/09/2004 15:20

The only way I can get DD to have an afternoon nap is to take her for a journey in the car. If I have lots to do at home, I drive for 5 mins till she nods off then come home, wind the windows down and leave her in the locked car on the drive. The other day I did this, went out to check on her and she was out of her car seat, in the drivers seat and 'driving' !! (Good job I didn't leave her the key)

donnie · 10/09/2004 15:23

I must admit I do leave mine in the car to pay for petrol but can see her the whole time. I feel like a really bad mother now!

Portree · 10/09/2004 17:04

I leave ds, 10m, in the car when I pay for petrol and until this thread I haven't really thought about it much. Certainly never considered this risky behaviour. If I get home and he's asleep then I leave him in the car too. OK, so I'm sounding like Cruella ... Now of course I feel I have to justify my behaviour. I think this depends where you are on the 'danger-on-every-corner' spectrum and how you rationalise these dangers, perceived or otherwise.

So far ds hasn't shown the slightest whiff of separation anxiety so he's quite happy to sit in the car but it is only for a few minutes. I've always thought that it nigh on impossible to nick my locked and alarmed car from the forecourt. In fact I quite like it when he falls asleep in the car and is still asleep when we get home as I make a cup of coffee and sit on the stairs reading the paper . I do make sure the car is well ventilated and it's impossible to walk across the gravel without making a noise.

Then again maybe this all stems from my mother leaving me outside the bakers, resplendent in my Silver Cross chariot, when I was 8 weeks old. On arriving at my grandmothers my mum was asked where the bairn was. On returning to the bakers I was still fast asleep.

SoupDragon · 10/09/2004 17:14

I leave mine in the car whilst I pay and always have done. It's safer than trying to control them loose on the forecourt and yes, I can always see them from the till. I try to do pay at pump whenever possible though.

However, it's entirely your choice and the nosey old bat should have kept her nose out of it!

toddlerbob · 10/09/2004 23:07

An old woman got all exasperated with me in KMart because she couldn't get a trolley out because I was putting my ds in a trolley, she was pushing me and physically trying to move us both. In the end she said "excuse me". I just turned to her and said. "I will move when my son is safe and strapped in, neither of us want to see him hurt now do we?" One of the nice things about having a toddler is slowing down and seeing the world through their eyes and if that means holding a few people up for a couple of minutes then so be it.

The lady in the petrol station would have tutted louder if she had seen your child in tears in the car. It's none of her business anyway.

Slinky · 10/09/2004 23:16

I used to leave mine in the car whilst I paid for petrol - considered it far safer to leave them in the car than to drag "3 under 5s" across the forecourt.

I also used to leave the car unlocked incase I needed to get to them quickly (ie fire) and they were always in view from the shop (always used Safeways petrol station).

If I had the option of "paying via machine" then I would but there are NONE locally that offer that facility. None of this applies to me now anyway as I usually get petrol on my own (all at school).

mazzymcg · 11/09/2004 17:48

Maybe I'm paranoid but I never left dd alone in the car - under any circumstances. Mind you, as soon as she could talk she wouldn't let me anyway - always wanted to come - sometimes used to get upset even when I was just putting the petrol in (I didn't get her out for this though!). She's 6 now and I've only just started leaving her in the car when I pay for petrol. I always lock the doors and always make sure I can see the car at all times. I guess the media makes us more paranoid about stuff these days.
Portree - your post made me laugh - my mum also left me outside a shop in my pram and started walking home without me - I think she got almost all the way there before she remembered. Needless to say, I was fine!

coddychops · 11/09/2004 17:49

yes lisa leave them int he car
or gtohe pay at pumpones

breeze · 12/09/2004 08:23

I always left DS in the car, could always see him from the shop anyway. Its up to the individual, wish people would butt out more though, taking them in the shop was wrong, leaving them in the car would have been wrong, some people just love moaning.

Corbin · 12/09/2004 16:43

I never do, it would never occur to me to leave a child alone in a car, even if I could see them. It takes a good theif under 15 seconds to get into your car and away, as most of them target cars they have master keys for. No one hotwires anymore; they rip the column off and start it with a screwdriver. Theives could care less about alarms, they are easy to turn off; besides, how often do you hear one going off because someone bumped the car? Most of us just ignore alarms now anyway.

All sorts of things could happen. I just figure that convenience (in many things) went out the window when I had a child and drag her in with me.

Perhaps it's partially cultural difference as I am in the US and it's illegal to leave a child alone in a car and if I was reported I'd get cited for child endangerment and neglect. I am lucky though as virtually every station has a pay-at-pump machine so it's not a constant issue.

acnebride · 12/09/2004 16:56

Wow, yes, i do wish the pay at pump option was still there in the UK, i loved it when it existed but i guess a lot of people drove off without paying, or else they want us to spend loads in the shop. I'm relieved to see i'm not the only one who does leave their baby in the car sometimes but I always feel crap doing it - worst of both worlds. Entirely own choice tho and i can't believe the woman actually wasted her precious time following you back to your car!!

If my ds has just gone to sleep following nightmare tussle out of the house, back going while trying to strap him in etc, it just seems like the last straw to get him out again. Truth is of course, the last straw would be seeing the car explode/driving off without me.

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